It was lovely - till it went very wrong :-(

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not quite in that league, but i decided to do a Trailquest on the Isle of Wight many years ago. it had been a very wet winter and the day was marred by gale force winds. i got blown over, still clipped in and holding the bars as i crossed a field on a bridleway. later i was taking a 'shortcut' to the next checkpoint... i was the only one around and it didn't occur to me the reason why.

i turned a corner on the bridleway to find a large puddle - no problem. being clay based soil it was hard to see how deep the puddle was as it was just brown and gloopy. it was a pretty long puddle though, about 20ft at least. anyway... in i went. up to the tyre bead. oh well. up to and then past the rim. keep going. half way up the spokes. trouble. the clay was slowing me down and it was now so deep my feet were dipping in with each pedal rev, so i was trying to coast through.

soon the axles were about to get wet and the momentum had stopped. i lookde for a way to bale out. there was a fence to my right. for a brief moment i stayed there, held tight by the clay, but soon gravity was calling. i leaned over to the fence and thus started my fall. no problems, i'll grab the fence and hold myself up and drag the bike out.

it was around then i saw the glint. the glint of sun. sun on the barbs of the fence.

it was too late, i would fall on the fence anyway, so i grabbed it, embedding a barb into my palm and held myself there, slowly lowering myself down to the ground - firmly clipped into the bike.

the day ended with me riding with a flat front, having buckled the valve during a clumsy reinflation. i missed the train at Brockenhurst and whiled away the time 'til the next one by carving chunks of clay off the bike.

the next day i went and got a tetanus jab.
 

frog

Guest
Years ago I was a tank driver in the Army. On exercise one day the steering wouldn't work and instead of going around this brown pond I had no choice but to drive through it. All went well to start off with but all of a sudden this wall of stuff came cascading into the compartment, forcing me under the instrument board. The commander pulled me out and it had gone a bit quiet because the engine had taken it in as well.

Over the next half hour the tank settled into the pit until it got to the turret ring. About now the REME came to drag it out and we foun d we had the wrong towing hooks on the front of the tank. The next hour was spent diving 3 feet under this stuff to remove the hooks and attach the right ones.

Duly pulled clear it was getting dark so the commander said we'd had enough for one day, and we should get a tetinus jab as well. He borrowed the squadron commander's land rover and we drove to this RMP barracks for something to eat, a shower, and something to eat. The bloke in the guard room was almost hysterical when four shoot covered scarecrows waltzed into his guard room. It wasn't until the commander broke the crust of muck off his rank badges did the bloke calm down. With as much bad grace as he could muster he ordered us out of the guard room and off the camp. There was a chip shop opposite the camp gates so we walked over there and the commander bought us all sausage and chips and we sat there stuffing ourselves smelling like a mobile plague for the next half hour.

Two of us had to go back and guard the tank overnight, someone might have run off with 52 tons of tank full of liquid manure so it was a serious job. That meant me and the gunner didn't get a wash and change for nearly 24 hours.

I'm still waiting for the tetinus jab 35 years later :blush:
 
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