Jock test

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Renard, 3 Mar 2008.

  1. Renard

    Renard Guest

    You know you are a true Jock if.......
    1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
    Sauchiehall, Auchtermuchty and Awfurfuksake
    2. Ye actually like deep fried pizza fae the chippie
    3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day
    4. Ye cannae pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer
    5. Ye kin fall aboot pished withoot spillin yer drink.
    6. Ye see people wearin shell suits wi Burberry accessories - Pure Dead Class!
    7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
    8. Ye kin understaun Rab C. Nesbitt and know characters jist like him in yer ain family
    9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think its like gaun tae the ocean
    10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer words
    11. Ye know whit haggis is made of and still like eating it.
    12. Somedy ye ken his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur weddin date.
    13. Ye've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
    14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,
    irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
    15. Ye know Irn-bru is a hangover cure.
    16. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
    17. Ye actually understaun this and ur gonnae send it tae yer pals.
    18. Finally, you are 100% TrueJockif you have ever said/heard these
    Hows it hingin
    Get it up ye
    Wee beasties
    Arse bandit
    Away an bile yer heid
    Humphy backit
    Ba' heid
    Baw bag
    Dubble nugget
    And finally....
    A wee Glesga wummin goes intae a Butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is staunin haunds ahint his back, wi his erse aimed at an electric fire.
    The wee wummin checks oot the display case and asks:
    'Is that yer Ayrshire Bacon?'
    'Naw,' replies the butcher 'Its jist ma hauns ah'm heatin.'
  2. LordoftheTeapot

    LordoftheTeapot Veteran

  3. Rab

    Rab Über Member

    Aye, 'am yin then

  4. OP

    Renard Guest

    Me 'n' aw :biggrin:
  5. Rab

    Rab Über Member

    Fir nimber yin, anither place wid be - Kirkcudbright :biggrin:
  6. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Moderator

    an clachnacuddin an aw'
  7. Crackle

    Crackle Pah

    I say spiffing. I just love those chaps from the regions, absolutely tophole most of them. One can't always understand them mind but mama says we must encourage them.
  8. Pete

    Pete Guest

    I'm nae Scot, but I've heard of some of those traps! Aren't #3 and #4 "Mill-guy" and "Socky-hall"? I think I'll pass on the last one...:biggrin:
  9. trustysteed

    trustysteed Guest

    jolly hockeys sticks, lads, now tally ho, pass more bricks so we can get this hadrian's wall finished and be back to blighty for cucumber sandwiches at pimm's o'clock!
  10. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

  11. OP

    Renard Guest

  12. OP

    Renard Guest

  13. TheDoctor

    TheDoctor Man-Machine Moderator

    Do I win?
    Soft Southern shandy-swillin' Nancy that I am. Irn-Bru's not bad for hangovers if you're out of Vimto.
    If only Foska did a Vimto shirt...:blush:
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