A mate of mine from when we were kids has been diagnosed with a major cancer which is now affecting all his major organs. He's 50 but looks nearer 75 now. Anyway, the prognosis is that with chemo, he'll have a year or so and without it, he's got between 3 and 6 months. He's decided he's not having the chemo. He'll have what time he's got left without the pain of the chemo thanks and go out that way. We're having a last blast for him this Friday night but it's going to be painful for all of us, I would imagine.
Just heard some bad news about an old friend. Brave decision this.
- Thread starter PaulB
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Jane Smart
The Queen
- Location
- Dunfermline Fife
Oh Paul, that is so sad, life is so precious 
Brave guy xx
Brave guy xx
fossyant
Ride It Like You Stole It!
- Location
- South Manchester
It's not good......my wife's brother checked out with cancer a few years back - only 45, brain tumour - no notification.....problem was he lived in Hong Kong..... family jetted off... fit as a fiddle before.... but no way of having a 'get together' - too quick - fit to dead within a couple of weeks.............
It hit us hard.....but we've got there now.....
Thoughts with you !!!
It hit us hard.....but we've got there now.....
Thoughts with you !!!
Over The Hill
Guru
- Location
- Ridden off into the sunset
My step father took the other option and I am sure really regretted it as he had a really awful final year.
I was reminded of Fred Dibnah and just found the following in his Obituary-
Having already outlived the 12-month diagnosis he had been given three years before, Dibnah refused chemotherapy for his prostate cancer in order to tour the country aboard his 1912 traction engine for a new 12-part series for BBC Two.
I was reminded of Fred Dibnah and just found the following in his Obituary-
Having already outlived the 12-month diagnosis he had been given three years before, Dibnah refused chemotherapy for his prostate cancer in order to tour the country aboard his 1912 traction engine for a new 12-part series for BBC Two.
- Location
- The TerrorVortex
Jeez. That's a tough decision and a courageous one.
All the best.
All the best.
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
Sad news Paul - but I'm sure you and others will be doing your best to ease your mate's time.
Kirstie
Über Member
I can understand that completely.
My auntie, who has pancreatic cancer (diagnosed in the same month as patrick swayze, but there you go), actually said she'd rather not have the chemo if the quality of life she was going to have would have been awful with it. The chemo she got was OK ish though, and she's still with us. Aggressive chemo is horrible though, and with a year at the most, I can really see where he's coming from.
My auntie, who has pancreatic cancer (diagnosed in the same month as patrick swayze, but there you go), actually said she'd rather not have the chemo if the quality of life she was going to have would have been awful with it. The chemo she got was OK ish though, and she's still with us. Aggressive chemo is horrible though, and with a year at the most, I can really see where he's coming from.
Lazy-Commuter
New Member
- Location
- Bottom Right Corner
Bad news, Paul. Thoughts are with you.
For what it's worth, I applaud your friend's decision .. think I'd do the same were I in that situation.
For what it's worth, I applaud your friend's decision .. think I'd do the same were I in that situation.
ajb
Well-Known Member
- Location
- North Devon
Feel for you Paul,
I frind of mine died 2months ago of breast cancer, leaving a husband and 2 young sons, life can be so cruel.
I frind of mine died 2months ago of breast cancer, leaving a husband and 2 young sons, life can be so cruel.
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
Yeah, I hope I would have the courage to do that too. No point in lingering.
Give him the party he deserves Paul, and make it so good you can laugh about it when he's gone.
Give him the party he deserves Paul, and make it so good you can laugh about it when he's gone.
numbnuts
Squire
- Location
- Gone over the hill and far away
I’m not too sure if brave is the right word, I’ve always said that if I was told I had a serious illness I would refuse treatment if there was not 100% that I would be OK again.
In fact on my dogtags that I wear all the time it states "do not resuscitate me" and I do mean that, I’m 58 and I would not want to be a burden on my family (I have a sister but no wife) or the state.
In fact on my dogtags that I wear all the time it states "do not resuscitate me" and I do mean that, I’m 58 and I would not want to be a burden on my family (I have a sister but no wife) or the state.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
That's rough!
Celebrate the life he lived and the memories he'll leave behind.
Celebrate the life he lived and the memories he'll leave behind.
Campfire
Über Member
- Location
- near Risley Moss, Warrington
Poor man. It's very sad for you all but try to enjoy the bash with him & remember that party!
Night Train
Maker of Things
- Location
- Greater Manchester
That is so sad, so very sad. My thoughts are with you and I can imagine how you may be feeling. It will be a good time to remember what sort of person is is to all of you and for you all to be able to tell him so that he knows how much he matters to you all, so that he is surrounded by those who love him and respect him and who will miss him. And celebrate his life and what it has meant, and still means, to you all.
Four years ago my best friend died from cancer. Fit and active and suddenly so ill and then gone.
I wrote this about him, to read at the service, as I didn't think I let him know how well thought of he was when he was there to hear it.
I thought, if I may, I will share it with you.
Sometimes
We are touched by one, who leaves a mark on our lives,
A welcome mark that has fond memories and good feelings.
David touched all our lives,
As a father,
A son,
A brother
And a husband.
But above all
He touched all of our hearts
As a friend.
There was no one he would not help,
Nothing he would not do,
Nor promises he would not keep.
When I first met Dave,
Nearly 10 years ago,
We competed against each other
As to who had the worst house to renovate.
But when I needed him,
He was there for me as my Father would be.
And when I was alone,
He stood with me as my Brother would have done.
And when I was troubled
He was there as my best friend.
He really was
As a Father,
A Brother
And a best friend to me
And we will all miss him as all of those things.
An idea of how special Dave was to me
Was at a fancy dress party a few years ago.
We were still competing to be the best at this point.
David went dressed as Superman
And I went dressed as David!
But this was David,
A most wonderful person
And a genuine superhero to me
And perhaps to many of you.
We could remember David
As being a particularly special,
Outstanding
And unusually good person,
But I don’t believe Dave would agree with that.
It was second nature to him.
Perhaps,
With David’s passing,
We should not think
‘What will I do without him?’
But
‘What part of him can we do for each other?’
In being as generous of heart
As Dave was to each of us,
We can best remember him
As one who gave more then he received,
Did more then he told us about
And asked for no reward.
David has brought all of us together
And shown each of us
Unconditional
And whole hearted love
And generosity.
If we could each continue
In this way
As David would have continued,
Then perhaps,
That would be the thing
That really made him special.
Thank you Dave,
For all that you have done for us.
Four years ago my best friend died from cancer. Fit and active and suddenly so ill and then gone.
I wrote this about him, to read at the service, as I didn't think I let him know how well thought of he was when he was there to hear it.
I thought, if I may, I will share it with you.
Sometimes
We are touched by one, who leaves a mark on our lives,
A welcome mark that has fond memories and good feelings.
David touched all our lives,
As a father,
A son,
A brother
And a husband.
But above all
He touched all of our hearts
As a friend.
There was no one he would not help,
Nothing he would not do,
Nor promises he would not keep.
When I first met Dave,
Nearly 10 years ago,
We competed against each other
As to who had the worst house to renovate.
But when I needed him,
He was there for me as my Father would be.
And when I was alone,
He stood with me as my Brother would have done.
And when I was troubled
He was there as my best friend.
He really was
As a Father,
A Brother
And a best friend to me
And we will all miss him as all of those things.
An idea of how special Dave was to me
Was at a fancy dress party a few years ago.
We were still competing to be the best at this point.
David went dressed as Superman
And I went dressed as David!
But this was David,
A most wonderful person
And a genuine superhero to me
And perhaps to many of you.
We could remember David
As being a particularly special,
Outstanding
And unusually good person,
But I don’t believe Dave would agree with that.
It was second nature to him.
Perhaps,
With David’s passing,
We should not think
‘What will I do without him?’
But
‘What part of him can we do for each other?’
In being as generous of heart
As Dave was to each of us,
We can best remember him
As one who gave more then he received,
Did more then he told us about
And asked for no reward.
David has brought all of us together
And shown each of us
Unconditional
And whole hearted love
And generosity.
If we could each continue
In this way
As David would have continued,
Then perhaps,
That would be the thing
That really made him special.
Thank you Dave,
For all that you have done for us.
Similar threads
