Ladies Euro Champs (football)

[Tynan]

I'm slightly late into this, enjoyed us cheerfully thumping the jocks 6-0 last night, the jock keeper was awful, despite shipping 6 I only saw her touch the ball once when she badly sliced a clearance, looked like someone out of the crowd, she's their captain with 200 caps ffs

Tonight I've watched Holland beat Denmark 1-0, the lucky sods, good first half and scored from a slightly soft pen, the ref gave them everything all night long, second half Denmark were all over them and missed a half dozen good chances, three of them very good. The ref declined to give them a couple of pens.

The Dutch really ran out of legs second half and were all rather plain, only one caught the eye at all. They wasted time and dived a lot, their keeper worst of all, the ref seemed to like that.

Some good looking Danes, good gene pool, and they played well barring fluffing their chances, the Dutch re enforced their time honoured dutch moody cheats image by being very churlish with a 'giving the ball back after the Danes kicked it out' incident. The commentators lauding Harder all game long was tiresome although she was good (and blond and pretty). One of their players was called Troelsgaard which I liked, although she missed at least one of the good chances.

The lady commentator didn't sound too bright or fluent despite being the Chelsea Ladies coach, the gentleman commentator was ok but seemed to be watching the football a second late which was annoying.

How do Denmark, Belgium, Denmark and Norway end up in the same group for heaven's sake?

England are still to play Spain and Portugal, no idea how good either of those to are but we look decent.

 

[Bollo]

I'm slightly late into this, enjoyed us cheerfully thumping the jocks 6-0 last night, the jock keeper was awful, despite shipping 6 I only saw her touch the ball once when she badly sliced a clearance, looked like someone out of the crowd, she's their captain with 200 caps ffs

Tonight I've watched Holland beat Denmark 1-0, the lucky sods, good first half and scored from a slightly soft pen, the ref gave them everything all night long, second half Denmark were all over them and missed a half dozen good chances, three of them very good. The ref declined to give them a couple of pens.

The Dutch really ran out of legs second half and were all rather plain, only one caught the eye at all. They wasted time and dived a lot, their keeper worst of all, the ref seemed to like that.

Some good looking Danes, good gene pool, and they played well barring fluffing their chances, the Dutch re enforced their time honoured dutch moody cheats image by being very churlish with a 'giving the ball back after the Danes kicked it out' incident. The commentators lauding Harder all game long was tiresome although she was good (and blond and pretty). One of their players was called Troelsgaard which I liked, although she missed at least one of the good chances.

The lady commentator didn't sound too bright or fluent despite being the Chelsea Ladies coach, the gentleman commentator was ok but seemed to be watching the football a second late which was annoying.

How do Denmark, Belgium, Denmark and Norway end up in the same group for heaven's sake?

England are still to play Spain and Portugal, no idea how good either of those to are but we look decent.

Despite being technically half Sweaty and eyeing up a passport if and when Brexit goes t1ts and Scotland gets independence, I'm as pleased as a bulldog with two willies when we beat our brothers and sisters from the north.
England were a class above - you could really see how the increasing professionalisation in the domestic game has improved the national team, especially in terms of fitness.
Listening to the radiogram, Portugal are supposed to be one of the weaker teams in the tournament. Spain are decent but England still favourites. I think we're ranked around 5th in the world at the moment.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Women.

 

[Tynan]

I think I heard 3rd several times.

I slowly bought into the last Word Cup, the standard has indeed risen a lot, it's very watchable and less brutish and cheaty than the men's football. Mind you Holland and Denmark looked good today, might be playing above themselves given it was presumably a local punchup.

'and Scotland gets independence', good luck with that, a referendum is a referendum for all of the very very irritating Sturgeon's moaning.

 

[steveindenmark]

How can Holland and Denmark be a "local" punch up? There is a whole country between us (Germany). Our local punchup is with Sweden.

 

[Tynan]

my Benelux is rather vague, localish surely, there must be some small country near each other ish rivalry?

my dad is a very genial old chap these days but doesn't like the Dutch, Dutch men anyway, I have distaste for them from watching them play over the years.

Like Ruud Gullit punditry on the very few occasions I got to seem him, funny chap

 

[Tynan]

Sweden v Russia

only 33 minutes in but early impressions are that the Swedes are ponderous and average and a rather lacklustre set of ladies.

the Russians all seem to have come out of a medium height, medium build mold and seem to be out their depth, not had a good look yet but their keeper looks to be a sort, a surprisingly small one that came and flapped at a ball she got nowhere near to let Sweden go 1 up with a softer than soft goal

 

[Tynan]

More of the same, Sweden got another due to feeble defending and another bit of poor goal keeping from the Russian keeper.

The Swedes still looked ponderous and leaden while being flattered by a poor Russian team, half their players looked like they'd never played before a month ago. The Swedes also not averse to a tactical foul whenever they felt it was called for.

Very disappointing. A good looking lino, I'm a sucker for a nice ponytail.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Hope you get hammered, arrogant sods

 

[Tynan]

eh? 'We' being the mighty England?

Who are you supposed to be? A filthy jock?

 

[Tynan]

Germany v Italy

More like it, the Italians look competent, lots of swarthy wiry types, the Germans look a look like the men's team, big, athletic, technical and confident. Much talk from the commentators about keeping it all square for as long as possible, the Italians are playing on the break with some promise, their lone striker looks fast and keen. Following a building theme for good looking keepers fluffing, the tall and fetching Italian keeper spills a routine high ball onto the head of a German who makes no mistake. A large German support goes noisy. Italian keeper now gets lot of camera time which is pleasant, she's brave and gets on with it and makes a few good saves and finally collects an easy high ball to all round delight.

A rapier counter up the wing by the Italians makes the German defence look dodgy, a lovely square ball catches the German central defender ball watching and said keen nippy Italian striker nip in for a lovely finish through a dozy German keeper. game on, the Germans start looking a bit less cocky, the Italians look up for it. Said German supporters go quiet and nail biting.

Said keen nippy striker stretchered off, she had some rough handing from the two lumps in central defence but it was just a nasty fall, doom and gloom, the replacement striker is fetching which seems to be a bad sign.

Half time.

 

[Tynan]

gah

Germans sent through, Italian keeper spreads herself, German pushes the ball past then taps on foot on the keeper and goes down, never a pen and the ref blows, 2-1, rubbish

minutes later one of the Italians loses it, the replay doesn't show but a shirt pull, the Germans goes down and the Italian stands over her ranting, the German crowd bays and the ref gives a second yellow, rubbish, not even a yellow, homer

Germans in the crowd once again all beaming, rubbish

 

[Tynan]

result and Italy out ffs, what happened in their first game for heaven's sake? even the Russians are still in it.

They had a go bless 'em and the Germans looked iffy for a while, one screamer of a free kick that saw the dodgy keeper dozing in the wrong side of the goal, she barely got across to push it wide, in the end the Italians just a bit lacking in the technicals but the Germans look if you cab get after them.

There was a cut away at the 80 minute to some glowing wholesome ladies looking interested that even I recognised as the leading lights of the glorious putter to the sworders of the scotch.

Scotland will get murdered by the pork and cheesers in the early game on Sunday (seriously though, I'll be behind them, no love here for the Portuguese) with England beating Spain in a cloud of glory and splendour for the late game.

Be there or be an EU Remain voting country hater. Can't wait.

(Is there any sporting event that Claire bloody Balding it not contractually entitled to anchor?)

 

[Tynan]

Slightly late into this:

England had the pleasure of playing our Scottish neighbours a few days ago.

The Russians lost to the Swedes.

The Germans beat the Italians.

England will play Spain on Sunday evening with the the Scots taking on the proud nation of Portugal in the earlier fixture.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[User169]

Stop being a dick.