Last Words

[vernon]

Radio four's obituary programme is a good listen.

Phyllis Diller - a comedienne who did aged 95 was covered in the programme. She was known for her self deprecating humour. One of her comic deliveries tickled me.

Dinner is a three phase event:

Serve the food
Clear the table
Bury the dead

 

[dellzeqq]

Either that wallpaper goes or I do..............................................................

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I told you I was Ill.....


Spike Milligan I beleive.

 

[Norm]

I told you I was Ill.....


Spike Milligan I beleive.

Not last words, but what he wanted as his epitaph.

 

[roadrash]

AARRGGGHHH

 

[classic33]

AARRGGGHHH

Is that actually a word?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Not last words, but what he wanted as his epitaph.

They possibly will be mine then.

 

[vernon]

Just to clarify....

The program is called last words and is an epitaph program. It doesn't record the last words of the recently deceased 'stars' of the show.

 

[accountantpete]

It's hard to beat Mr Adam Faith

"Channel Five is all shoot isn't it?. Christ, the crap they put on there. It's a waste of space."

 

[Vapin' Joe]

"Don't worry, it isn't loaded."

"You're sister didn't mind going down on me."

 

[slowmotion]

On his deathbed just before he died, Conrad Hilton, the hotelier, was asked if he had any last words of wisdom for the world.


"Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub."

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Either that or start saying where you have left all your money and riches which you have (supposedly) hidden away all the years, and, die just as you are saying where they are!


'Arhhh', is that in Switzerland or something?

....Hello?...... hello??'

 

[paddy01]

I believe I read Billy Connolly wants his gravestone laid flat so people can walk on it.. then the inscription to read "You're standing on my balls"

 

[User482]

"It's all been rather lovely"
John Le Mesurier

 

[Dayvo]

A man being taken by ambulance to hospital after suffering a heart attack whilst eating his dinner; 'I didn't finish my pudding.'