Letting kids go to concerts...

[Red Light]

You've reached that difficult stage as parents where learning to let go a bit so they can grow and develop into independent adults is difficult to do but must be done. Its usually worse for the mothers letting go. As for what to do, I would suggest you thank her for asking for permission, explain why her mother might be worried about her going and tell her you will talk to her mother and let her know your (joint) decision - to avoid the trick of using one of you against the other. But then try to find out what her mothers fears are, put in place maybe one or two light rules, like picking her up when its finished, to satisfy her mother but then persuade her that she is going to fly the nest at some point in the next few years and she has to be encouraged to learn to fly solo in a supportive and caring environment which she won't do locked up at home.

But I'll tell you what her mother is going through is nothing compared to what you will go through when she brings her first boyfriend home and you realise that his intentions towards your daughter are the same as yours were towards girls when you were that age.

(from the Dad of two well adjusted and independent daughters now beyond their teens)

 

[vernon]

I was fifteen when i tried to leave a Black Sabbath concert at Newcastle City Hall and the bouncer threw me back in.....

My peers and i used to charter minibuses to take us from Darlington to Newcastle for gigs. Our parents were unconcerned by our activities.

A Justin Beiber concert is as benign a musical event as you could get and the risks to the health and welfare of any teenager attending one of his trials of endurance are minimal.

 

[Melonfish]

If its religious/cultural then i completely understand, it is against my own beliefs to even hear 4 bars of any beiber song, sadly its played in public places. we must honestly start a campaign to get her music played only behind closed doors and to folk who are clearly in need of some mental help.

 

[Arch]

A colleague of mine has two daughters, and the eldest is 13 I think. The eldest has been to a couple of concerts, with a parent - they take it in turns. She wanted to see Lady Gaga, but the concert was apparently 'no under 14's' so they had a good reason to refuse, not being keen on the idea.

I can understand Mrs Maz's worries, if she didn't do that sort of thing. I agree that Miss Maz probably ought to go, perhaps with a well chosen trusted chaperone to allay Mrs Maz's fears. Is Miss Maz wanting to go with friends, and if so, do you know them, or any of their parents? Could you arrange a taxi service where you take them and another parent picks them up, so avoid appearing too overbearing (and to spread the work!)

 

[MrJamie]

As much as I hate to say it, I imagine a Bieber concert to be pretty wholesome with a younger audience, certainly a totally different ballpark to a festival with adult fans, drink, drugs etc.

Im unsure of your wife's concerns to address them and I wont try to guess them, but personally I think you have to allow teens a little bit of social responsibility for themselves to earn your trust. I do think an element of a chaperone (sp?) would be a good compromise, maybe pay for a younger relative to take her if she doesnt want to go with her parents.

 

[MontyVeda]

two of my workmates' daughters are going to see Beiber soon, both aged 14. They will be driven to the venue and picked up again, but not accompanied into the auditorium... no parent deserves that!

at 16 surely she's old enough to get herself to and from the venue? But some 16 years olds are 'older' or 'younger' than others.

 

[Chromatic]

Is this quite common? Presumably to chaperone their son/daughter.

I don't know how common it is, but yes, parents chaperoning their children is indeed what I meant.

 

[Chromatic]

(remembers the horror that was Busted)

You have my sympathy. Have you recovered yet?

 

[toroddf]

In the case of Justin Bieber, tell her she has to wait 'till she is 36 years old. Justin Bieber fans recently hit the Norwegian capitol Oslo hard after a gig where the riot-police lost control and dozens of cars were thrashed. Oslo is still in a shock and recovery mode. Not to mention it's citizens where the fertility rate dropped by 47 % after the Justin Bieber gig and the riots.

Ever thought about giving her positive role models like Ozzy Osbourne, Cannibal Corpse, Dismember and Entombed ? Their fans are good, positive family promoting members of the society. Not like the Justin Bieber hordes who smashes through the riot police lines and creates havoc everytime that scourge from Canada comes to town.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

my 14 year old sister managed to get tickets for run-dmc and the beastie boys, but sadly her elder brother (17) put the fear of god about the gig into her parents and had to go in her place with his best pal

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Funny the way kids go isn't it, I have a mate who has spent half his life playing punk gigs in anarcho squats throughout Europe and would be delighted if his 15 year old daughter showed an interest, instead he carts her to London to see the likes of Cheryl Cole.

 

[Arch]

I have a colleague who is fairly alternative, full of looney conspiracy theories, with a blanket hatred of the police. Sometimes I pray that his little girl grows up to be utterly conformist, and a copper!

 

[AnythingButVanilla]

Ozzy Osbourne, Cannibal Corpse, Dismember and Entombed

Yes, yes, yes and yes! Cannibal Corpe have the best song titles too.

 

[Fab Foodie]

(remembers the horror that was Busted)

C'mon, busted were ACE!
One of my finest moments with my daughters was taking them to Party in the Park in Londinium when they were 12 or so and we all dressed-up as busted/schoolboys and carried a banner. I can still recall the amused looks as we rode the coach and the tube!

 

[Fab Foodie]

Is this quite common? Presumably to chaperone their son/daughter.

Yep, if they're really small. But 16 not. There is an exception to this however. When daughter wants to see a band at the NEC and want's me to drive her and her mates there, then I go on the condition she buys me a ticket. At the gig she tells me to stand at the back with the other parents while she heads for the mosh-pit.
Hence I've seen Paramore twice, Enter Shikari. Funeral for a friend ....

The alternative strategy is to drop 'em off and head for the nearest curry house with a good newspaper/book.