'Life-changing' books that left you cold

[Dayvo]

Lord Jim - Joseph Conrad: the literary equivalent of watching paint dry.

 

[Dayvo]

I gave up trying to be a better person after The World According to Garp. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

I got to within the last 50 or so pages of that book, but. just. could. not. go. on.

 

[slowmotion]

I got to within the last 50 or so pages of that book, but. just. could. not. go. on.

What stamina! Chapeau!

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie.

Actually anything by Salman Rushdie.

Midnight's Children dissuaded me from reading anything else by Salman Rushdie.

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Ecco. Gave up after 50 pages.

Tolkien...... Tried several times and failed miserably

Shaun

After perusing the books you've reread I remember trying to read a few different books by Stephen King. Just couldn't do it!

The Alchemist

I confess to have read and enjoyed all the above, Captain Corelli too
Mostly, is the books of philosophy that give me a headache: Kafka and Satre specially, never could understand what they're on about.
I get the classical Greeks though

 

[swee'pea99]

Don Quixote. Jesus. Another 627 pages of this?

 

[Berk on a Bike]

Anything by John Irving.

My nomination for this thread is Hotel New Hampshire by the aforementioned. Part two in particular, set in Vienna, is drivel. OTOH Cider House Rules is ok.

 

[ColinJ]

Wasn't wildly keen on 1984 either.

I read that 45 years ago for my English Lit. O-level and really enjoyed it. I'm not sure what I would make of it now though.

I don't read many novels now. I really must make the effort to get back into books, rather than spending 70+ hours a week staring at my 5 screens (TV, laptop, desktop PC, tablet, smartphone)!

 

[slowmotion]

• The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B (novel) Delacorte Press, New York 1968

What a stinker. Simply ghastly. The very memory of my thumbing its pages makes me faintly queasy.

 

[ozboz]

I've got a Beethoven biography by john Suchet , keep picking it up , nah , have another go , nahh ,
Just doesn't seem to float the boat at all ,

 

[perplexed]

I wish I had a fraction of Jane Austen's erudition. The problem is that she winds me up - I appreciate a slow pace, I've read and thoroughly enjoyed many 'classics'.

However, her storylines of Miss Whoever wanting to get jiggy with Mr Whoever and the ensuing endless dances/balls/social gatherings just gets on my wick.

 

[Levo-Lon]

 

[Yellow Saddle]

My all-time can't do book is Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela. Tedious to the last full-stop. Or so I've heard, since I never got to the last full-stop. Strangely enough, I liked Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and have read it three or four times. I'm sure there is a pill for people like me.

 

[John the Monkey]

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho.

How on earth this trite piece of "you're successful because you wanted to be" self justification ever got to be a publishing sensation[1] is beyond me. Utter crap, inconsistent, with characters that exist solely to help the protagonist achieve his destiny, &c &c &c. Upside - it's quite short.

[1] Apparently

 

[Profpointy]

• The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B (novel) Delacorte Press, New York 1968

What a stinker. Simply ghastly. The very memory of my thumbing its pages makes me faintly queasy.

I rather enjoyed that; had a charm and joyfullness about it. Liked it much more than some of his other stuff

 

[John the Monkey]

Ulysses by Joyce. Couldn't understand a word of it and, as my old 'A' level teacher said to me (about an essay I'd handed in), it's but a small step from not understanding to not caring.

One of the things about reading is that, generally, you get used to the author's "voice" as you get into the book. Ulysses is really difficult in that sense, because the "voice" changes throughout. I've only read it once, but enjoyed it, once I'd figured out that I'd be disorientated by the changes in style throughout - the upside, of course, is that if one style doesn't work for you, another will be along pretty soon...

Anything by Jane Austin (sorry!), haven't read a single word.

I just love her turns of phrase, and use of language - the plots, I can take or leave