Limericks thread

[montage]

As started by the mugs on chat

Rules: Limerick format

so lines 1,2,5 rhyme, as so 3 and 4.

as it says here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

 

[montage]

The was once an old man call Richp,

Who had to get off his bike for a wee wee,

But little did he know,

what way the wind would blow,

And his bike ended up stinking of pee pee.

 

[montage]

2 years later this fellow call Richp,

Decided to become a shehe,

This meant he could wee on the run,

and still be tight as a nun,

But now it was harder to have a touchy feely.

 

[montage]

Richp saw the error of his ways,

He just did not fit in with the other gays.

He found a surgeon and gave him some jip,

And said “I’ll exchange a penis extension for my hip”

And so ended the period of Rich’s woman days

 

[montage]

Many moons ago a plump fella joined cyclechat

With the aim of losing a tiny bit of belly fat

But a couple of threads

Put filth and dirt in his head

And he ended up marrying Noodle’s cat

 

[MossCommuter]

w00t w00t - an audience

--------------------


A commuter whose name was Moss
Was oft time a bit of a loss
His cadence too low
His speed, then, too slow
But frankly he don't give a toss

 

[Dayvo]

From Brighton came Rich P and went



On a bike made for two, not a bent


Whilst out on a ride


He stopped at the side


And played with a packet of crisps in his tent

 

[Dayvo]

These were originally a tribute to Richp who is being hip-hoperated tomorrow!

If anyone can come up with a GOOD limerick, in Rich's honour, PLEASE help!

 

[Fnaar]

Rich went for an Op on his hip
And the surgeon said "Now Rich, no lip"
But Rich feared for his life
At the sight of the knife
And covered his groin with some crisps

 

[longers]

There was a young man bloke from Brighton
At night he'd ride his bike with a light on
Sometimes he'd ride to the coast
Once home he'd eat toast
And use a crisp packet to cover his dignity.

 

[Mr Cheese]

There was a young man named Cheesy,
Thought cycling to work would be easy,
After much stress and strain,
And lots of muscle pain,
Arrived there feeling rather queasy.

 

[Arch]

Rich went for an Op on his hip
And the surgeon said "Now Rich, no lip"
But Rich feared for his life
At the sight of the knife
And covered his groin with some crisps

Finally one that actually scans properly, and the last rhyme's wrong!

Look, the rhythm is:

Dee dum diddy dum diddy dum
Dee dum diddy dum diddy dum
Dee dum dum dee dum
Dee dum dum dee dum
Dee dum diddy dum diddy dum

Do try and get it right!

 

[Archie_tect]

Finally one that actually scans properly, and the last rhyme's wrong!

Look, the rhythm is:

Dee dum diddy dum diddy dum
Dee dum diddy dum diddy dum
Dee dum dum dee dum
Dee dum dum dee dum
Dee dum diddy dum diddy dum

Do try and get it right!

The rhythm's right Arch, but you need to work on the words....

There once was a young lady named Arch,
who washed all her stockings in starch.
It all went to plan,
'til she drank, like a man,
and hasn't been seen out since March.

 

[Arch]

The rhythm's right Arch, but you need to work on the words....

There once was a young lady named Arch,
who washed all her stockings in starch.
It all went to plan,
'til she drank, like a man,
and hasn't been seen out since March.

Except you've got an extra syllable in the first line. Drop the 'once'...

 

[threebikesmcginty]

There once was a lady named Sue
Who despaired au coin de la rue
Where once was chippy
It's now gone all hippy
So spag bol will just have to do