Literary Perfection

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theclaud

theclaud

Openly Marxist
Location
Swansea
TheDoctor said:
"Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French."

P G Wodehouse. What a writer:biggrin:

Time for a quiz then! Which aunt was described as "a rugged light-heavyweight with a touch of Wallace Beery in her make-up"? And who was a "robust, dynamic girl with the muscles of a welterweight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge"?
 

Andy in Sig

Vice President in Exile
TheDoctor said:
"Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French."

P G Wodehouse. What a writer:biggrin:

I always like, "Ice began to form on the butler's upper slopes".
 

swee'pea99

Legendary Member
Excellent Wodehouses!

For some reason they remind me of this bit of goonery, courtesy of the similarly inspired Milligan:

Flunkey: Excuse me sir, Captain Gore would be pleased to see you out on the balcony.
Bloodnok: Ah - he's out there is he?
Flunkey: Er, no. He's in here. That's why he would like to see you out there.
 

Bollo

Failed Tech Bro
Location
Winch
Show us not the aim without the way
For ends and means on earth are so entangled
That changing one, you change the other too;
Each different path brings other ends in view.



The quote is originally from Ferdinand Lassalle, but its used in one of my favourite books "Darkness at Noon" by Arthur Koestler
 

Christopher

Über Member
Lizze Borden took an axe
And gave her father forty whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave her mother forty-one
 
Arch said:
I don't have the text to hand, but there's a passage in Dorothy L Sayers' Gaundy Night, where Harriet sits watching Lord Peter reading, in a punt, and sees him in minute detail and realises that yes, she really is in love with him, and then he looks up to see her looking at him and she blushes. Just gorgeous.


Oh, yes ... I can't find my copy, but I know the passage you mean.

Here's one of my favourites, from "The Grapes of Wrath":

One man, one family driven from the land; this rusty car creaking along the highway to the west. I lost my land, a single tractor took my land. I am alone and I am bewildered. And in the night one family camps in a ditch and another family pulls in and the tents come out. The two men squat on their hams and the women and children listen. Here is the node, you who hate change and fear revolution. Keep these two squatting men apart; make them hate, fear, suspect each other. Here is the anlage of the thing you fear. This is the zygote. For here, "I lost my land" is changed; a cell is split and from its splitting grows the thing you hate - "We lost our land." The danger is here, for two men are not as lonely and perplexed as one. And from this first "we" there grows a stuill more dangerous thing: "I have a little food" plus "I have none." If from this problem the sum is "We have a little food", the thing isw on its way, the movement has direction. Only a little multiplication now and this land, this tractor are ours. The two men squatting in a ditch, the little fire, the side-meat stewing in a single pot, the silent, stone-eyed women; behind, the children listening with their souls to words their minds do not understand. The night draws down. the baby has a cold. Here, take this blanket. It's wool. It was my mother's blanket - take it for the baby. This is the thing to bomb. This is the beginning - from "I" to "we".
If you who own the things people must have could understand this, you might preserve yourself. If you could separate causes from results, if you could know that Paine, Marx, Jefferson, Lenin were results, not causes, you might survive. But that you cannot know. For the quality of owning freezes you for ever into "I", and cuts you off for ever from the "we".
 
And this for a bit of light relief, from Tim Moore's "French Revolutions".

It had to be done. I'd spent too much time thinking about it: why they did it, how, when. Through all the countless hours I'd spent surveying my hairy knees as they rose and fell, rose and fell, I'd felt I was looking at the legs of a pretender. Now I'd done the mountains and got the tan, and if I wanted to be taken seriously by my masseur, the hair would have to go.
They were very nice in the salon. Some of the questions I had feared were asked (did I want a full-leg wax or a half; was I aware that the process might involve some discomfort), but most were not (did I mind if passers-by were herded in to watch; was there a history of cross-dressing in my family; would it matter that as the first depilatory client after Pentecost I was obliged by local tradition to retain an unshaved area on each shin in the form of an inverted crucifix). As Martine ushered me into her quiet depilatorium I explained my relief that such a procedure was clearly commonplace among Belfort's male population. Hardly, she said as I removed rather more clothing than I felt comfortable about. I was the first man they'd ever had in.
I knew it was going to hurt, but actually the pain was no worse than the last time I tore off a pair of gaffer-tape trousers after they caught fire. After the first Velcro-parting rip my eyes clamped shut while my mouth did the opposite.
Filling her second bucket with strip after waxed strip of flayed follicles, Martine confessed that she had once depilated her father. He was "almost" a professional cyclist, a man who covered 500k a week for years, but after one shin's worth of her follicular yanking he yelped off the trolley and hobbled away in search of his razor. Christopher Moreau, now there was a super-hard man. He wouldn't have made a squeak, not even at this bit - ow ow ow STOP NOW - where i frenziedly pluck out any remaining individual hairs with these tweezers.
A razor, I thought. Why hadn't I just shaved my stupid legs with a razor? And why had I bothered anyway? Martine had assured me it was nothing to do with aerodynamics: part of the reason was to facilitate the massage process, but from what her father had told her the main intention was to reduse the risk of infecting the regular and serious leg abrasions that are the cyclist's lot. How awful, I'd thought: what a ghastly rationale. Shaving my face every morning was dull enough, but imagine if I did it not for presentation purposes, but because at some stage during the journey into work I would inevitably headbutt a postbox.

:ohmy:
 

mangaman

Guest
theclaud said:
Time for a quiz then! Which aunt was described as "a rugged light-heavyweight with a touch of Wallace Beery in her make-up"? And who was a "robust, dynamic girl with the muscles of a welterweight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge"?

The aunt I'm guessing is Dahlia and the girl maybe Honoria Glossop?

I'm a great Muriel Spark fan. Here's the first sentence of "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie"

"The boys, as they talked to the girls from Marcia Blaine School, stood on the far side of their bicycles holding the handlebars, which established a protective fence of bicycle between the sexes, and the impression that at any moment the boys were likely to be away."

and the last paragraph

"And there was that day when the inquiring young man came to see Sandy because of her strange book of psychology, 'The Transfiguration of the Commonplace', which had bought so many visitors.
'What were the main influences of your school days, Sister Helena? Were they literary or political or personal? Was it Calvinism?'

Sandy said : 'There was a Miss Jean Brodie in her prime' "

And inbetween, a beautifully succinct, complex, funny, sad novel with an interesting, slightly odd style, all crammed into 127 pages
 

Yellow Fang

Legendary Member
Location
Reading
I've been reading London Fields by Martin Amis recently. It's all pretty ripe, but this passage caught my eye:

Keith came down the passage and out through the front door whistling 'Welcome to my world'. As he passed he happened to glance at her name on the bell. 6:SIX. Six. 6! thought Keith. Double 3!...Nasty, that. Worst double on the board. Never go near it less you've farked double 12 and then come inside on double 6. Murder. 3's the double all darters dread. Right down the bottom like that, at six 'oclock, you're sort of dropping it in. And if you come inside it's 1, double 1. Pressure darts. Old Nick. Double 3.6.6.6 Nasty, that. Very nasty. Ooh wicked...
 

Happiness Stan

Well-Known Member
"So in America when the sun goes down and I sit on the old broken-down river pier watching the long, long skies over New Jersey and sense all that raw land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, and all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it, and in Iowa I know by now the children must be crying in the land where they let the children cry, and tonight the stars’ll be out, and don’t you know that God is Pooh Bear? The evening star must be drooping and shedding her sparkler dims on the prairie, which is just before the coming of complete night that blesses the earth, darkens all the rivers, cups the peaks and folds the final shore in, and nobody, nobody knows what’s going to happen to anybody besides the forlorn rags of growing old, I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of Old Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty."
 
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