Living 'alone'

[Arch]

You've got us?

Well, I'd probably go slightly batty without you lot to talk to. I mean I work with people, and we chat all day at work, but more often than not I'm alone in the evening. I don't mind really, I'm used to living alone, and after a lot of time in (real life) company I often want to have some space to myself.

I reckon one can be lonelier in a crowd than on one's own, sometimes...

 

[ComedyPilot]

Even surrounded by people at work and home, it is good to get out on the bike with only miles of tarmac and the odd errant rabbit for company.

 

[numbnuts]

I reckon one can be lonelier in a crowd than on one's own, sometimes...

Like a spare prick at a wedding,
which actually happened to me a couple of years ago, everybody had someone and I was on my own.....I left early

 

[on the road]

People seem to think that people who live on their own are lonely, but it's not the case. They don't know what it's like to live on their own because they have never experienced it. When they think of people living on their own, they're looking at it from their perspective of being use to having people around them, when they find themselves on their own, they feel lonely because they are use to having people around them and they think it's the same for people who really do live on their own, but it's not.

 

[numbnuts]

I don’t think I’m lonely as such, but maybe I have just got use to it and gone past caring and too stuck in my way to change it now

 

[mangaman]

Like a spare prick at a wedding,
which actually happened to me a couple of years ago, everybody had someone and I was on my own.....I left early

I live alone and I suppose am used to it.

I enjoy it really most of the time - but would go mad if I didn't do something in the evenings (eg exercise especially / learning Spanish at the mo etc)

What's worse, as you say (although I wouldn't have used the exact phrase) is actually going out.

It's fine with my close friends, but often (especially work does/Christmas does etc) partners are invited and you do feel awkward - even guilty as you feel you're messing up the numbers.

 

[Arch]

Like a spare prick at a wedding,
which actually happened to me a couple of years ago, everybody had someone and I was on my own.....I left early

Oh god yes. I've turned down wedding invites knowing I'd feel odd one out. The worst thing is when the wedding is somewhere out in the sticks or away from home, and you have to go in a group (all couples of course) and are waiting for them for a lift home....

 

[BearPear]

My daughter has often asked me if I mind being on my own during the days that I don't work and everyone else is out - she can't believe it when I say "no". I am an only child and find that I can entertain myself quite easily and don't especially get lonely. She, on the other hand, has always had her big brother about, as well as us, her mum & dad, so never has proper "alone" time as such.

I don't think a little alone time is bad, as long as it is something you don't mind. I you crave company but are alone, that's a whole different ball game.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Oh god yes. I've turned down wedding invites knowing I'd feel odd one out.

Come on Arch you could be missing out - there might be a handsome, single, elephant fancying, bin man, cyclist looking for a like-minded soul mate.

 

[mangaman]

Come on Arch you could be missing out - there might be a handsome, single, elephant fancying, bin man, cyclist looking for a like-minded soul mate.

The thing is though (although obviously I can't speak for Arch) from my perspective that's exactly what people say to me. (Of course they don't mention elephants / bin men in my case, but something similar. I know a women who'se going who I'm sure you'll really like etc etc)

Personally having people trying "matchmaking" for me in situations I find a bit uncomfortable in anyway, I find really depressing and artificial

 

[longers]

I know the s p at a wedding thing. Luckily someone has asked me to be her wedding guest - purely friendly basis - at my sisters and it means I can look forward to that now.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Perhaps get a pet ?

 

[Arch]

Come on Arch you could be missing out - there might be a handsome, single, elephant fancying, bin man, cyclist looking for a like-minded soul mate.

I suppose there could....

But it's fairly unlikely... And I don't think I've had any matchmaking attempts made on me recently (or ever!) but I think I'm with mangaman on that one - even more 'pressure' to enjoy something.

I guess on the right occasion, you rise above it - for a really good friend, or at an event where you'll know loads of people. It's those times where there are going to be small groups of disparate people, and you won't know anyone outside your little group where it gets difficult. It's ok if you're the sort of person who can just muck in and introduce yourself into any group, but if you're like that, you're probably not going to be fearing being alone anyway - if that makes sense...

I was out for a meal on Friday, there were about 10 of us, some I work with and some friends of theirs, and as it happened I ended up the opposite end of the table to the people I knew from work. Sure, we had enough to talk about, but there comes that inevitable moment when they all start talking about something I know nothing about, and I'm sat there with nothing to say and not quite comfortable - ok, I just sit and listen, but among my colleagues somehow it wouldn't feel awkward.... So it's not even being a single person among couples (this wasn't that situation), it's feeling a little bit like a fish out of water.

Still, living alone means I can have spag bol as many nights running as I like. And I do like...

 

[Millhouse]

arch I've just read that and man were lots of that close to home(mostly smoking too much). I struggle being on my own also but its not as such the being on my own its keeping occupied if I have tasks I've not a problem its when you sit down with nothing to do your mind wanders. I've always said cyclists are loners to an extent, were quite happy to ride miles and miles on our own as your thinking aabout the road ahead but sit me down in a room with a load of people and the nevous chatter comes through.

I hope shoot gets better for you mate

 

[Arch]

Cheers mate! I'm sorry, I'm maybe painting a dismal picture, I'm actually quite happy at the moment, sort of reconciled to singledom, if not actually pleased about it. I see the postives - no dependents, I can, within reason, do what I like, only me to look after. I've never been a great party animal, so I can easily spend weeks not going out in the evenings - I'd rather go out rarely to things I know I'll enjoy (small gatherings of friends for supper, or a few people in a pub), than be out all the time at stuff I don't enjoy (big noisy gatherings where you can't sit down or talk easily). Being occupied is key - I'm lucky to have the internet, my knitting and the ability to get absorbed in the telly. And yes, I can ride alone and be quite content - but also ride in a group, if they are the right group...

There are people worse off than me, that's for sure.