Living 'alone'

[postman]

I got divorced in 87 .Finished up getting a nice flat 6th floor in a high rise at Moortown .

But golly once that door was shut that was it .No garden no one just passing thought i would stop and talk .
It became a very posh cell .
So much that i spent a lot of time out in pub or joined groups .I found it a bit of a struggle .

 

[Arch]

I got divorced in 87 .Finished up getting a nice flat 6th floor in a high rise at Moortown .

But golly once that door was shut that was it .No garden no one just passing thought i would stop and talk .
It became a very posh cell .
So much that i spent a lot of time out in pub or joined groups .I found it a bit of a struggle .

That's a good phrase. I don't see my flat as a cell at all, anyway, I'm only two floors up, but it's so easy once the door is closed, to become shut in. I remember something on telly once, they showed a man sitting in a room, reading a book and said "This man has a bed to sleep in, a roof over his head, all the food he needs, books to read". But this is punishment - he's in prison." The point being that we place so much value on being able to get out whenever you want to....

Sorry, I'm digressing a bit....

 

[addictfreak]

I have to say I enjoyed my time in my flat immensely. No hassles, no one to answer too, come and go as I please and best of all no one knows what your up too.

I enjoy my cycling and also fell walking among other things. Sadly having been married twice I am still to find a partner that enjoys the same. Mrs AF is great dont get me wrong, she just prefers Debenhams while I prefer the C2C or Scafell.

 

[postman]

Just to show you what can happen .Somebody did pass and stopped to talk .

 

[Plax]

I live on my own and love it. I usually spend weekends at Mr Plax's, but weekdays its all about me! I always find something to entertain myself. I've never really been able to tolerate living with other people, even as a student. I'm very intolerant of noise. Thankfully my student house mates were relatively quiet and we had a cleaning rota. I lived with them all three years, we were all pretty much as boring as each other apart from Bridget. We regularly had to rescue her from passing out in hedges and trying to jump out of top floor windows after crawling down the hallway as she was playing commandos etc.

 

[mangaman]

I remember something on telly once, they showed a man sitting in a room, reading a book and said "This man has a bed to sleep in, a roof over his head, all the food he needs, books to read". But this is punishment - he's in prison."

Was that Big Brother? Oh sorry, just noticed you said the man can read so it must have been something else

Seriously though, living alone has its plus and minus points just like living with someone.

I guess you get to recognise the positive side of any situation - like your spag bol addiction and appreciate the good bits.

For example I lay around in bed until about 1pm today (give or take a few trips around the house for ablutions / coffee / croissants etc to finish a particularly rivetting book.

Sometimes you get lonely, but when in a relationship sometimes you wish you could be alone in my experience, so it's about realising that life is really rather fun. The depressing parts are when you start to overthink about your situation and feel sorry for yourself. (At least that's my philosophy)

 

[beanzontoast]

That's a good phrase. I don't see my flat as a cell at all, anyway, I'm only two floors up, but it's so easy once the door is closed, to become shut in. I remember something on telly once, they showed a man sitting in a room, reading a book and said "This man has a bed to sleep in, a roof over his head, all the food he needs, books to read". But this is punishment - he's in prison." The point being that we place so much value on being able to get out whenever you want to....

Sorry, I'm digressing a bit....

Not really digressing Arch - being able to go out and see life going on around you on your own terms is a gift.

The probem (if it is a problem) with feeling alone is what to practically do about it. I think a lot of people however much they get along perfectly well from day to day, would be glad of more friends and a greater feeling of belonging and being needed by others than work relationships can offer.

 

[Kirstie]

You only really get lonely if somebody should be there and they're not, imo. I struggle a lot with loneliness when my other half works away and things go wrong. I find that one of the hardest things to do is to ask for help, so I am own worst enemy!

 

[hackbike 666]

Don't really have a problem...have been on my own since 1982 and am used to it.

Joining the railway three months after getting my own flat in 1982 I have found the railway to be my "family"....they know me and I know them.I think I have been very lucky in that respect in being able go get a job there and sticking with it all these years.

That's where I get my "social" interaction now.

Like a spare prick at a wedding,
which actually happened to me a couple of years ago, everybody had someone and I was on my own.....I left early

I can relate to this....Christmas is the worst time for me...all those threads...what did you get for Christmas and all that...A good mate always "rubs it in" always telling me he's off to visit his folks on his day off...I don't quite know why he has to tell me about it but he is a good mate and I don't think he means bad of it.

In the earlier years I used to booze all the time but I don't do that anymore.(till just over a year ago anyway)

 

[rich p]

Just to show you what can happen .Somebody did pass and stopped to talk .

Great picture Postie. You've struck lucky by the look of it

 

[ColinJ]

I live alone and have done for 25.5 of the last 26 years. I don't have any children and I don't have any pets. I do have a few friends but I don't see them that often. It's okay when it's okay and it's very quiet when it's not!

Now that I don't go out to work any more I can spend days or even sometimes a week or two at a time only speaking to people in shops or phoning my family.

That's why I organise so many forum rides in this neck of the woods - it's me making an effort to meet other like-minded people.

Speaking of which...

Odd then that I should be keen on cycling which I do for the most part alone.

On the other hand as Longers said it can be very lonely in a crowd.

Hopefully, you, longers, Calum, trio25 and maybe a few others will help make up another small cycling crowd for the Mini-NWP in 3 weeks time?

 

[Ian H]

My other half's in London, I'm in Devon (except I'm in London as I type). Separate houses works pretty well. I've no desire to go back to cohabiting unless it's a really big house.

 

[mangaman]

You only really get lonely if somebody should be there and they're not, imo. I struggle a lot with loneliness when my other half works away and things go wrong. I find that one of the hardest things to do is to ask for help, so I am own worst enemy!

I agree Kirstie, despite my optimistic, even slightly flippant posts above.

The times I feel lonely are infrequent but unpredictable. Sometimes you need someone emotionally or physically, and if you live alone you have to rely on family/friends who may not be that close geographically or spiritually.

Asking for help inevitably is difficult and can even be embarrasing at times.

Even your closest relative or best friend has their own life / commitments which are completely separate to yours if you are unattached.

 

[al78]

I have lived alone for the last seven years. I do tend to feel lonely off and on, which is why I am seeking a relationship at the moment, unfortunately I am not having any success. My main problem is that my family are all at least 200 miles away and I have very few friends of the kind that I can just ring up and suggest going out somewhere. I am trying to do something about it though.

The one thing I am concderned about in my current situation is if I had a serious accident at home then my life could be in danger due to the fact that there is no-one to help and no-one would likely know about it for a day or two at least.

 

[hackbike 666]

The one thing I am concderned about in my current situation is if I had a serious accident at home then my life could be in danger due to the fact that there is no-one to help and no-one would likely know about it for a day or two at least.

Yeah I have thought of that.I think only my work would miss me obviously.