Low-flying Chinooks

[ufkacbln]

Q: What's the difference between a Helicopter and a pilot?


A: The Helicopter stops whining when it lands

 

[Norm]

I know how they bloody work, I was just saying they look unwieldy.

Unwieldy how?

 

[dellzeqq]

theres a point at which the sound waves from the two rotors merge, and the beat gets very, very heavy, almost a thump.

Extraordinary to think they've been around for almost fifty years.

 

[ufkacbln]

When I worked with the WAFUs there was a certain "rivalry" between pilots and maintenace crews. They would file fault reports (P) and the crews would fix them, then log the fix (S) however some were not as serious and the replies funny.

These do the rounds regularly on Service websites...


(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack
normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
(IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for.

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious.

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

(P)Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500lbs.
(S)Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300lbs.

(P)Unfamiliar noise coming from No2 engine
(S)Engine run for three hours. Noise now familiar

(P) Mouse in cockpit.
(S)Cat installed

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(s) It's what they are for

(P)Target radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics


(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed.

 

[Arch]

Sorry, I thought you were being serious.

That's the trouble with internet discussions - no tone of voice.

Sorry, perhaps should have used a or two.

I'm just struggling to know in what way you thought I might think a Chinnook really was like a bumblebee.

Cunobelin, I love those reports, seen them before, they always make me smile. It's a particular humour. My Dad's collection of FAA photos (mostly of planes he'd 'landed' on aircraft carriers) were annotated with some acerbic comments on the back...

One favourite I read in a magazine was that a good landing is one you walk away from. A great landing is one where they can use the plane again.

 

[ohnovino]

One favourite I read in a magazine was that a good landing is one you walk away from. A great landing is one where they can use the plane again.

That reminds me of the definition of a good pilot: someone who's had the same number of take-offs as landings.

 

[benb]

Sorry, perhaps should have used a or two.

I'm just struggling to know in what way you thought I might think a Chinnook really was like a bumblebee.

I thought you were seriously saying that both Chinooks and bumblebees shouldn't be be able to fly.

Note to self: Arch is almost certainly always not being serious, about anything.

 

[Over The Hill]

We have lots of them around here as we are near the RAF base at Odiham.

They train around here before being sent out to Afghanestan. You would not believe they still get loads of complaints from residents who would prefer to have untrained pilots in a war zone to having 30 seconds of noise.

Some nights when they buzz our house I think it will rattle the slates off the roof!

They are re-building the Chinooks that the MOD ordered with the wrong type of computer that have not been able to fly. This is basiclly taking them apart completely and re building with the right kit in. They then take them around here testing them.
One developed a fault and had to land about 100 yards from my house in a field.
http://www.thisishampshire.net/news/gazettenews/5040892.Look_who_s_dropped_in_/

The base is keen to keep up its goodwill for to win over the moaners so it is fairly common to be able to get one to drop in at your school fete. You can go an have a walk around them in the school field and then they take off (blowing half the stalls away in the process).

 

[porteous]

Military aircraft are cleared to fly very much lower than civilian aircraft, and all military helicopter pilots are trained in low level flying as a matter of routine (As are fast jets and C130 transport aircraft). 250' to 2000' agl is restricted to military traffic in low flying practice areas. I never liked flying in Chinooks, the back and front twist in opposite directions in flight, which is frankly unnerving for a soldier!

 

[brockers]

These do the rounds regularly on Service websites...


(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack
normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

............

There's a flavour to military humour that you don't get anywhere else. Makes me think it would have been fun being in the services for a bit. 'Specially if I got to fly things.

 

[asterix]

Anyone who doesn't like Chinooks has good cause as this incident demonstrates:

New doubt cast over Mull of Kintyre Chinook crash cause

 

[Globalti]

Anyone who has walked in the Lakes on a weekday will know that the RAF practice low flying there, which can give you a hell of a shock if you happen to be on a col having your sandwiches.

So every year the RAF puts on a big air show over Windermere as a free "dash" to the public. It's worth going for, especially if the weather is nice.

 

[asterix]

The French were doing a bit round here before Libya. One of them buzzed my van as I was driving up to the crest of a hill. I heard nothing until there was a hell of a bang as if something very heavy had fallen over in the back, then I saw the plane pass over low and then shoot upwards until it had gained a lot of height and was quite a long way off. Next the pilot just dropped it out of the sky like a falling leaf. It was such an amazing display of flying I forgave him the shock he gave me!

 

[Yellow Fang]

Sorry, perhaps should have used a or two.

I'm just struggling to know in what way you thought I might think a Chinnook really was like a bumblebee.

Cunobelin, I love those reports, seen them before, they always make me smile. It's a particular humour. My Dad's collection of FAA photos (mostly of planes he'd 'landed' on aircraft carriers) were annotated with some acerbic comments on the back...

One favourite I read in a magazine was that a good landing is one you walk away from. A great landing is one where they can use the plane again.

I recently read Phoenix Squadron, which was about the old Ark Royal's raid on Honduras in the 1970s to warn them off Belize. Sounds like your father is lucky to have survived. It was a dangerous job.

 

[Globalti]

If Im not mistaken that pic was taken at Cadair Idris in Wales - which is a fantastic place to sit and watch big boys toys whizz past.

Stunning pic, isn't it? The 'plane must be pulling some heavy Gs, you can see decompression mist above the wings in a messy vortex indicating that it's at the aerodynamic limit.