Management/Corporate phrases

[Bay Runner]

Two of the married women (both have children) I work with are attending a Gender Consultation what the feck is that all about

 

[philipbh]

You're off message there

Sorry Boss!, wrong hymn sheet!

 

[Telemark]

When "going forward", I meet blue skies and end up with a rolling-out scenario at the end of the day, having gained the high ground. No brainer...when we get to the finish and all is said and done..

At first glance, the words "blue skies", "rolling", "high ground" popped out at me and I thought you were talking about a bike ride ... then I read it properly

T

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Sorry Boss!, wrong hymn sheet!

We'll speak ear-to ear and see if we can drill down.

 

[XmisterIS]

Now then ... when I worked for a large engineering firm (shudder), there were a number of management jargon words that I never did figure out the meaning of.

Perhaps someone could enlighten me!

One in particular was "Boiler Plate Solutions".

What the hell is a boiler plate solution?

I know what an Asynchronous Dual Port RAM is ... hell, I even know what an Inverting Summing Operational Amplifier is ... but I'm buggered if I know what a Boiler Plate Solution is ...

 

[philipbh]

What the hell is a boiler plate solution?

Tricky to answer for an Engineering Firm - just in case you were making plates for boilers

For everyone else is its a tried and tested, ready made template / example that can be used without (or without much) modification, in my experience documents like Terms and Conditions (software license) or Employment Contracts - where you dont want to start with a blank sheet of paper, but need to be sure that everyone is covered

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I'm just off for an Armitage Shanks Interface Scenario

 

[ChrisKH]

Tricky to answer for an Engineering Firm - just in case you were making plates for boilers

For everyone else is its a tried and tested, ready made template / example that can be used without (or without much) modification, in my experience documents like Terms and Conditions (software license) or Employment Contracts - where you dont want to start with a blank sheet of paper, but need to be sure that everyone is covered

Quite. It's a legal term for a standard contract that can be re-used and modified to suit. There's also "pre-emptive remedies" whatever they are.

 

[Andy in Sig]

'Mon'
'Tue'
'Wed'
'Thurs'
'Fri'
'Sat'
'Sun'

actually vocalised in this manner. Then there is the ubiquitous:

'Close of play'

I think it's accepted that sporting metaphors which are recognisably British and always if they are derived from cricket are perfectly reasonable and they should of course be used at every opportunity in international meetings.

 

[philipbh]

Anyone for hating Kick Off - to mean ANYTHING starting?

 

[XmisterIS]

Anyone for hating Kick Off - to mean ANYTHING starting?

Oh yes ... with a passion.

And my number 1 hate hate hate hate, the one that makes me almost foam at the mouth with rage is "A big ask".

WTF??????!!!!! Speak ENGLISH!!! "Ask" is not a noun!!!!!!

 

[Yellow Fang]

'Temperature check' is another that's quite fashionable nowadays.

I remember one of my colleagues prone to this stuff say, "Let's do a sanity check." Actually, I didn't mind that one, because it was a way of saying let's step back a moment and consider whether what we are doing makes sense.

Blue sky thinking, thinking outside the box, win-wins are some others.

I've started to hear the term 'up-lift' a lot, generally by military men. That's quite annoying.

I've used the term 'synergy' myself. I hate it, but can't think of another word that means the same thing. Likewise, 'incentivise'. 'Facilitate' annoys me too, but is sometimes hard to avoid.

 

[ChrisKH]

"Synergistic benefits" are one of the main quoted reasons for carrying out a merger of legal partnerships so I hear that one a lot. What it actually means is we can use fewer support staff for a much larger organisation and save money, i.e. someone is going to lose their job. Hardly any benefit accruing to them then.

 

[swee'pea99]

I've used the term 'synergy' myself. I hate it, but can't think of another word that means the same thing. Likewise, 'incentivise'. 'Facilitate' annoys me too, but is sometimes hard to avoid.

You see? To quote The Apprentice, 'tha's wha' I'm torkin' abaht!'

(Re 'The Big Ask', the very first time I heard that was a commentator in a rugby game, and I swear to God my first thought was that that was a rather personal and unnecessary comment to be making about one of the players in the ruck.)

 

[normgow]

I cringe when I hear someone "address a problem".