I was going to go Christmas shopping
So I went out to my car
I only planned to go to town
Which isn’t very far
It was freezing cold and foggy
With a hard frost on the ground
My windscreen had iced over
And no de- icer to be found
I turned on the windscreen wipers
But they were frozen to the screen
I said a few specific words
All of them obscene
I turned on the ignition
But the engine wouldn’t start
It just gave a little rumble
Reminiscent of a fart
Then the engine fired into life
Bellowing out black smoke
Which I accidentally inhaled
And it made me start to choke
I went to find an inhaler
To relieve my wheezing chest
But I couldn’t find one anywhere
More choice words were expressed
Eventually I was ready
For my road trip into town
But when I got back outside
One of my tyres had gone down
I went to replace it for my spare
And put the car up on the jack
But as I wound the handle round
I heard a nasty crack
My car was conspiring against me
It seemed I couldn’t win
As when I looked underneath my car
The axle had caved in
My car is now at the garage
The bill will be immense
So ditch the car and go by bike
You know it makes more sense!
Happy Christmas and safe cycling to you all in 2013!
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