Modern day 'Birds & Bees' situation

[ComedyPilot]

A person I work with showed me their 14 1/2 year old son's phone. They wanted to know what to do/say to him about the videos on it.

One video featured a naked man and woman (toned, tanned and siliconed up) going at it like billy-o next to a pool. The woman's screams (of pleasure?) were hilarious. The other video featured two young girls, a lack of any clothing, a reciprocating saw, and a large rubber, flesh coloured, 'apendage' mounted on the saw.

I was too full of tears of laughter to offer them any advice. After all, the acts depicted are not about procreation, so how is it any use explaining to the lad about insemination and ovulation, when they are looking at people attacking each other with B&Q's finest?

I told the person to talk honestly and openly about the correct use of power tools and how the girls should have at least worn gloves and protective eyewear.

????

I suppose I might get told off for this post, but this happened, and is just as valid a topic to discuss as any other.

 

[Brains]

This thread needs copies of said videos before we can comment ......

 

[surfdude]

get them to explain that the people are actors and that most of it is not like real life .ive had the same problem with both of my sons .

 

[Theseus]

Did you copy the videos onto your phone for further examination?

 

[Mark_Robson]

Just tell the lad to check out Youporn or Xhamster......job sorted.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Just tell the lad to check out Youporn or Xhamster......job sorted.

That would be like a busker telling Mozart how to play the violin?

From the looks of the vids and the scores of sex chatline numbers on his phone (parent showed me), he's got more than a beginners experience of this stuff!

I think the actors/procreation/recreation route is best.

 

[buggi]

If you want a serious answer to this:

She needs to make him watch "Sex, how to do everything" that is on at about 11pm at night on Fiver (i think that's the channel) and that will give him a more realistic view of what sex is and how it should be. It's only on for about 10 mins, i've seen it a couple of times and i'm not sure how many times a week it's on. anyway, I don't know if you've seen it but it's actually quite frank and educational without being hardcore porn.

Don't mistake Sexerama or Sexectra for being the same thing though, because that's more crude like what he's got on his phone. The "Sex, how to do everything" is more about making love... and she should tell him that if he picks up their tips the girls will definitely be falling at his feet.


Edit: in fact, just checked, it's on tonight at 11.30. Coz it's only about 20 mins long, i think it's on every night, and they cover one subject per episode.

 

[Ravenbait]

It's probably already far too late. He'll have discovered 4chan by now. He probably writes Pokemon slash fic as a hobby.

Sam

 

[al78]

If you want a serious answer to this:

She needs to make him watch "Sex, how to do everything" that is on at about 11pm at night on Fiver (i think that's the channel) and that will give him a more realistic view of what sex is and how it should be. It's only on for about 10 mins, i've seen it a couple of times and i'm not sure how many times a week it's on. anyway, I don't know if you've seen it but it's actually quite frank and educational without being hardcore porn.

Don't mistake Sexerama or Sexectra for being the same thing though, because that's more crude like what he's got on his phone. The "Sex, how to do everything" is more about making love... and she should tell him that if he picks up their tips the girls will definitely be falling at his feet.


Edit: in fact, just checked, it's on tonight at 11.30. Coz it's only about 20 mins long, i think it's on every night, and they cover one subject per episode.

Thanks for that info, that sounds like something I could do with watching.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Update (as if anyone asked for it): My colleague's son has now upped the ante, and got a bollocking for walking on a frozen pond. He seems to be unaware of the dangers, and his defence was '...well the other lad went further onto the ice than me....?

 

[Dayvo]

Show him a video of a grossly overweight and hideously ugly couple having sex.

That'll put him of for life!

 

[2Loose]

I like your first choice - embarrass him by showing the clips and explaining that power tools should never be used in that way in a dead pan tone. Make no comment about the sexual content at all.

Saying that, if he can't understand that frozen ponds are dangerous, then nothing will matter except his own mistakes.

 

[ELL]

Show him a video of a grossly overweight and hideously ugly couple having sex.

That'll put him of for life!

Nah get his parents (college) to make an educational sex video and send it to him and all his friends. Need to get proper graphic as well.