Morons

[downfader]

This week I encountered typical moronism to the highest degree.

I get back in on Monday after a week off (you've prolly noticed how I've not been annoying you all as often ) to find a member of staff come up and say "ohh the engineer has been in, and he's fixed your leaky hose." A statement of itself is pretty funny, but I digres, this is an industrial spraygun that shoots hotwater out at pressure from a longgggg hose. We use it to clean down the place, machinery, etc. Its really a lifeline and stops me having to lug buckets about the place.

I pull out the hose, go to spray down something mucky, as you do, and realise theres no pressure. I look over at the unit that feeds it from the water mains on the wall and realise its spraying water up over towards the electrics. Quick switch off and checking that nothing electrical has been affected I have a look at WHY this happened. The engineer, for some verybloody strange reason has decided to take a stanley knife to the pipe that takes the water from the mains to the unit. Water is now spraying out of that.

Boss comes in the next day to say she's made a complaint against said "engineer". Company are sending out a another man. He was only supposed to have changed a bloody washer, not mess with the plumbing.

Second moron. Woman at work complaining she's knackered. I know her well, she's just lazy. Turned out she'd been "forced" to park somewhere else, and the resulting 20 extra feet of walking (I kid you not!) has done her in.

Third moron, riding home from work a Range Rover driver decides to enter Porchester Road from the "no entry to motorised vehicles" end. I have parked cars all down my left, and a car following behind me, so I'm thinking: "he'll move over to his left in a minute, in one of those many empty parking bays and let us safely through..." Did he f***. I have no choice but to squeeze down a small 1.5 foot gap between his right side and the parked cars.

"Next time budge over a bit and give us two seconds!" I politely say in his open window as I pass. My god you should have heard the whinging.

"You wot mate!!!" I didnt catch the rest as it was ranting.

...so I stopped turned around and replied "all I asked for was a BIT of space and 2 seconds to pass safely Is that TOO much to ask for?" and ride off.

 

[asterix]

Did you know that knives of the generic 'stanley-type' are actually banned at many construction sites?

 

[longers]

Did you know that knives of the generic 'stanley-type' are actually banned at many construction sites?

I didn't know that. Why though?

I'd have thought the engineer would have noticed the cut hose. Could it have been done after he'd left?

 

[downfader]

I didn't know that. Why though?

I'd have thought the engineer would have noticed the cut hose. Could it have been done after he'd left?

I've never heard that either..? Mind you our site isnt a construction site.

Hose was fine when I left for my leave. We already knew the problem was an internal leak in the unit's casing (as any fool could see the water was coming from the unit, not the black plastic pipe that fed it). I doubt if any of our staff would have attempted to cut the pipe, its hard enough to get them to clean the machinery.

 

[Norm]

I didn't know that. Why though?

Because they are sharp.

No, seriously, that's why.

You end up with crap like this that doesn't work well anyway.

 

[longers]

It's a good job I trust you Norm otherwise I'd say you were on the wind up.

 

[Norm]

I used to work for Balfour Beatty and spent some time on, amongst others, Metronet and Network Rail work sites, and you've be surprised at some of the things which were not allowed.

I had a chap at 2am one chilly Sunday morning under Earl's Court trying to take my Leatherman from me - I suggested that he give up the task as he wasn't going to take it whilst I still had a breath in my body and I was, after all, the only one on site with a worthwhile sharp. I kept the knife on me, although I'm not sure if he was fooled by my "macho-bulltoffee" stance or he realised that the project manager was standing next to me, laughing her **** off.

Mind you, I had another shouting "You can't walk across here in those shoes...." when I went to the depot yard once. So I took the shoes off, walked the 10m to the office barefoot, and put them on again.

I'm big on safety, but I'm not at all good with worthless rules.

 

[longers]

I'm reminded of being called into someones office an hour after I'd been trying to free a roller shutter door by poking it with a broom and told not to do it again as it was dangerous. The summoner had stood in the yard and watched me but not said anything.

Is the thing about sharp objects to stop you cutting yourself or someone else?

 

[buggi]

re the land rover... you should have just bashed his wingmirror off as you squeezed past. he wouldn't have a leg to stand on if he complained, you could just say he hit you coz he was driving the wrong way and that's why it came off.

 

[Kestevan]

Land/Range rover wing mirrors take a hell of a force to remove. The best approach seems to be a hefty downward "axe" kick, otherwise they simply fold backwards with no damage.


Don't ask me how I know this

 

[Norm]

Is the thing about sharp objects to stop you cutting yourself or someone else?

Cutting yourself. Generally, the people who work on site not only have more common sense than they are credited with having but they have more intelligence than those who sit in offices and come up with silly rules.

 

[mcshroom]

When I worked at KFC we weren't allowed to have any knives (except a half moon). All that it meant was we used a jagged key to open boxes instead which was a lot less safe.

 

[longers]

Generally, the people who work on site not only have more common sense than they are credited with having but they have more intelligence than those who sit in offices and come up with silly rules.

I've got a belt sander upside down in a workmate and have done for years as an improvised linisher. Someone tends to visit once a year and they always say it's dangerous and shouldn't be done. There's no more chance of injuring yourself than with the proper kit, there isn't a stop to get caught against for one thing and if it's not clamped properly the only thing at risk is the sander hitting the floor. They don't notice the dangerous stuff though.

One of them took an interest in our vacuum casting machines and was very interested in what happened when they carried on and pulled more than a vacuum. When he left we dymoed "black hole generator mk 1" and the same for "mk2" and they've been labelled thus ever since.

I saw a link to a H+S report from America where the inspector made a note of needing to be wary of vacuum pockets in a walk in machine.

 

[longers]

I'd love to know what would have been made of us regularly putting a full size pillar drill on a bench and it being held steady* for drilling 2" holes in end grain for oak newel posts because £400 wouldn't be spent on a steady of the right size for the lathes.


* steadyish.

 

[downfader]

I used to work for Balfour Beatty and spent some time on, amongst others, Metronet and Network Rail work sites, and you've be surprised at some of the things which were not allowed.

I had a chap at 2am one chilly Sunday morning under Earl's Court trying to take my Leatherman from me - I suggested that he give up the task as he wasn't going to take it whilst I still had a breath in my body and I was, after all, the only one on site with a worthwhile sharp. I kept the knife on me, although I'm not sure if he was fooled by my "macho-bulltoffee" stance or he realised that the project manager was standing next to me, laughing her **** off.

Mind you, I had another shouting "You can't walk across here in those shoes...." when I went to the depot yard once. So I took the shoes off, walked the 10m to the office barefoot, and put them on again.

I'm big on safety, but I'm not at all good with worthless rules.

H&S is often a load of old tosh from some jobsworth who doesnt have a flaming clue and is just scared the company will get sued.

Was talking to my Dad and Uncle about it today. They've worked in places where they got refused entry because of a jobsworth. One guy told my Uncle he had to wear a hiviz top inside an office building ffs.. Uncle said "..well you wont get your job done then.." and started to walk off site when the boss of said place poo'd their pants and called him back.

re the land rover... you should have just bashed his wingmirror off as you squeezed past. he wouldn't have a leg to stand on if he complained, you could just say he hit you coz he was driving the wrong way and that's why it came off.

It was a late 90s Range Rover. The naff metallic green ones they used to do. The guy had retrofitted blacked out windows (even the windscreen - wish I had the cam working at the time because I might have reported it for breach of insurance policy, LOL)

I wont lie. I have been tempted to break bits off peoples cars before, but then I just think ..why lower myself like that? Although I do lift the wipers and fold the mirrors on the cars near work that park on the zebra crossings/outside the fire exit. Its private land so no one will do anything about it.