Mud enema? Mostball massage?

[Globalti]

Hi Folks, your intrepid reporter here; just escaped from 3 days in Serbia and now languishing in a "spa" hotel in Szeged, a nice Hungarian town on the river Tisza near the border. The place is full of oldies here for the arthritis treatment, I think my only chance of making it with the tracksuit-clad beauty in the swimming pool (equipped with hoists and plenty of steps) is to have one of the many treatments on offer. But what?

Underwater medical gymnastics? Underwater jet massage? Medical mud pack (for locomotor disorders and rheumatic pains)? Physicotherapeutic treatment (ultrasound, diadynamic, interference, magnetotherapy)? Aquajogging?

Or should I just waltz up (or maybe shuffle up) and ask her for a Tokai enema or a cardigan and camphor assisted personal massage?

I'm confused.

 

[Aperitif]

I would go for the Campag assisted massage - that way you could slip out of your gear easily...

(Joke at expense of self there )

 

[snorri]

Is there a treatment for double posting on a cycling forum:?:

 

[tdr1nka]

I was living in fear of a third attempt at this post; 'Mud enema? Moistball massage?'

 

[Kirstie]

I'd go for the mudpack. It probably involves her smearing mud all over you, wrapping you in something and then hosing you down afterwards. She may take 'special' requests.

 

[Dayvo]

Mud enema!? Sounds suspiciously like fudge packing/uphill gardening!

 

[Aperitif]

Mudenema.
Playing for Chelsea tonight...

 

[yenrod]

Rigid - I feel you've great chances there...

 

[Keith Oates]

Watch the lady you fancy the most and see what therapy she's enjoys giving, then go for that one and lay back and enjoy the feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[NickM]

There speaks the voice of experience...

 

[domtyler]

Just get out a wad of fifties RR, everyone's got their price!

 

[mikeitup]

Or should I just waltz up (or maybe shuffle up) and ask her for a Tokai enema or a cardigan and camphor assisted personal massage?

I'm confused.

What???

They stick a Japanese Strat/SG/LP copy up your jacksy??

 

[Fnaar]

I put this in the other thread of the same name (now languishing on p2). I still stand by this sterling advice:

Ask her if she does personal muscle manipulation. Or just mime a bl0wj0b, with an enquiring look on your face...

 

[Renard]

For as much good as an enema will do you might as well shove it up your arse!

 

[red_tom]

Public enema number 1.