#mumbollocks

[ThinAir]

Anyone else used to get lectures about behaviour before going to visit family?! Or was that just me being a little turd?!

 

[Schmilliemoo]

Haha yeah I used to get told to "stop showing off" when we had company. I swear I had done no such thing!

 

[Saluki]

My Mother was a big fan of:

• You shouldn't ride your bike or you will get a bum like Donald Duck .
• Riding my bike would make me bow legged.
• If you get out of bed in the night, the gobbler witch will get you.
• Don't flush the toilet while still sitting on it or you will get sucked down the pipes.
• Take your shoes off at the door because if you don't, fleas will get into the house.

She was a bit weird, my Mother. She also took her own cutlery to cafes, hotels etc Thank heavens that someone else's Mum did this, I thought that it was only my Mum.

I don't have bow legs, or a bum like Donald Duck, the gobbler witch has never eaten me, we've never had fleas even when I have stomped up the stairs in my wellies although I haven't tried the loo thing as I am not flexible enough to turn around and press the little button thingy.

Oh yes. Her favorite. Your Father knows best.
Did he hell.

 

[PeteXXX]

If you drop a glove, it's bad luck to pick it up yourself.. Someone else has to get it and give it to you.

 

[ThinAir]

If someone gives you a knife as a gift, then you have to give them some money in return.

 

[Hover Fly]

/\ Was a tradition in the old border reiver granes (clans), if someone misbehaved a "gift" of a knife cut the family bonds so the recipient was effectively on his own with just the knife for defence.

 

[TVC]

Stop it or I'll give you a good hiding.

My little brother and I didn't understand how mum always knew when we were up to something we shouldn't.
Until one day we heard that shout from the other room, when it happened we were both quietly reading, then at our young age we realised it was silence she feared.

Then it was war

 

[Ron-da-Valli]

Never have a bath within an hour of eating your tea!! You'll get stomach ache.

 

[Schmilliemoo]

Never have a bath within an hour of eating your tea!! You'll get stomach ache.

Yeah I've wondered about this. And whether you really shouldn't eat before swimming.

 

[Schmilliemoo]

Eating a heavy meal before going swimming could lead to dangerous trouble (something to do with blood supply being diverted to digestion?) but my mum always said don't have a bath after a meal or you'll get cramp, which I think was taking things a bit too far.

Ah the para sympathetic response where the blood is sent to the stomach during digestion? Hence why you want to nod off after a big dinner.

 

[tyred]

Was anyone else found under a gooseberry bush?

 

[Schmilliemoo]

Apparently quite a lot of mumbollocks relates to the death of beloved pets. For example "Snowy has moved to a different home" or even trying to get a similar looking pet as a stooge rather than explaining one has passed away.

 

[Schmilliemoo]

That's not #mumbollocks - that's #dadbollocks. Dad gets you another cat to try and cover up the fact that he backed over the old one...

Ahhh I only ever had a mum so #dadbollocks is outside my remit

 

[Schmilliemoo]

[QUOTE 2530976, member: 30090"]The reason the sky is blue because it is a reflection of the sea.

Learning about Mie Scattering when I done A level Physics confirmed that Mum indeed, was talking bollox.[/quote]

Science does indeed expose a lot of #mumbollocks. Especially just after you put your hand up in said physics class and offer mum's explanations as fact.

 

[ianrauk]

Was anyone else found under a gooseberry bush?

Apparently I was found under one..