National Express.......

John the Monkey

Frivolous Cyclist
domtyler said:
They probably think it is a really nice, calm, relaxing experience to have twenty tonnes of steel and rubber unexpectedly roar past at fifty miles an hour two inches from your head.
I think people think
a) it's not really *that* close
;) it gives a little scare or
c) they don't give a monkey's what it feels like


I reckon actually experiencing it is different to the way the driver imagines it, and there could well be some benefit in them cycling a mile in someone elses shoes. Never happen, of course.
Maz said:
On the National Express there's a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea
But its hard to get by when your arse is the size
Of a small countryyyyy!!
Everybody sings ba ba ba da...

Anyone know who sang this song? It's bugging me.
I've had this stuck in my head since I read your post. Anyhow I've got it on cd somewhere but couldn't wait so I checked out youtube for the video


Legendary Member
HLaB said:
I've had this stuck in my head since I read your post. Anyhow I've got it on cd somewhere but couldn't wait so I checked out youtube for the video
Ah yes, Divine Comedy - and thanks for the link!


Legendary Member
gambatte said:
Just got a follow up mail, thought I'd post it.

Dear Mr *****

Thank you for your email regarding the behaviour of the National Express driver you encountered recently, and for telling us of your concerns.

I was very concerned indeed to read about the actions of our coach driver and I can tell you that under no circumstances will we tolerate the standard of driving you have described. Please let me explain what will happen now.

I have contacted the driver's manager and have sent on a copy of your complaint. I have asked for the driver to be interviewed and for your complaint to be discussed in detail. I have also alerted our compliance team, who are responsible for safety, to the seriousness of your complaint.

In addition to interviewing the driver, we will review the driver's performance record to date and will examine any supporting documentation which may assist, such as the vehicle's tachograph. The tachograph continuously records the speed of the coach and the hours driven by the driver.

Once we are satisfied that a thorough investigation has taken place, the driver's manager will decide what action to take. Extra training may be recommended or disciplinary action may be taken. Discreet checks and further monitoring are often arranged. In the most serious cases, the driver may be removed from the National Express coach network.

I have asked to be kept informed of the outcome and your complaint will be held on the driver's file and recorded on our central database, which is monitored on a regular basis. Whilst this information has to remain confidential, you can be sure that every single complaint we receive in connection with our drivers is thoroughly investigated and followed through to its appropriate conclusion.

I hope I have been able to assure you that the wellbeing of our customers and the safe operation of our coaches is of the utmost importance to us.

If there is anything else I can help you with please do not hesitate to contact me on 0121 450 8833 and I will be happy to talk to you.

Yours sincerely
Second response, if you get it, will probably include the following or similar.

Interviewed the driver in question & examined his tachograph for any sign of erratic driving.....
Having examined a copy of his tachograph the speed does not appear to fluctuate which would indicate errratic driving.
....the tachoghraph indicates no erratic driving.

Iwish to apolgize for any upset sufferred as what you took as erratic driving in this instance & would like to thank you for bringing this matter to our attention.
We have an excellent safety record which we are anxious to maintain & your concerns have been noted/passed on.
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