I used to manage a small bike shop in London on the main East - West route used by commuters and cycle couriers. We had an near constant stream of people wanting to borrow tools. It got a bit annoying, particularly as most of them had never bought anything from the shop but expected a free loan of our expensive tools, anything from a track-pump to a spoke key. And it usually involved a trip down to the basement to the workshop - much to the annoyance of our mechanic. So we devoted a small toolbox and filled it with used/worn/spare tools and we decided that the cheeky ***** could pay for the privilege too. We had a couple of charidee collection boxes on the counter and we lent tools on the condition that they'd make a deposit of at least a quid.
It worked really well too, the Spastics society - as was - reckoned that ours was the fastest filling collection box of all time, and the highest value. So everyone was happy.
A courier runs in to the shop one day - obviously with a package on board such was his urgency. I'd never clapped eyes on him before and he rushed in with a; 'Can I just borrow a crank bolt spanner?' As his LH crank had come loose. I said: 'Yes of course, but you'll need to make a deposit of a pound in the charidee box'. Now, most people at this point would say: 'yes of course, what a great scheme', but not this guy. He decided to complain - 'It's only a crank spanner FFS etc' And I pointed out that he was the first person who'd ever objected, and, after a bit more tooing and froing, he realised he was on a hiding to nothing and said that he only had a tenner and could I give him some change then. He was getting more and more impatient, but I was the only game in town, so to speak. So I told him that I didn't have any change (which was true) and no, I couldn't open the till without a purchase! (a lie) Tee hee.
So he bought a puncture repair kit, put a quid in the box out of the change and went outside with the crank spanner (sorry mate, you can't work on your bike in the shop for insurance/H&S reasons - true).
So he's all a fluster and I stand there watching him screw it back on, keen to offer any advice, and I say to him: 'You know, sometimes it's worth taking a deep breath and a step back from what you are doing - so that you don't make mistakes', to which his response was for me to mind my own business, he knew what he was doing.
I went inside and gathered the staff at this point, so were all standing at the window when he runs in to return the spanner, runs out, jumps on his bike to find that both his cranks are at six o'clock.
He comes back in. Asks for the crank spanner again. I said: 'Will you be wanting a crank extractor too?'
That'll be a pound please!
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