O.D.D

[BikeGirlKent]

Theres a very vast amount of confusing info out there and as @steve50 has said he is going to seek expert opinion and advice. Thats the best way forward and hopefully things can become a lot clearer once this has been obtained. It can be a whole range of issues concerning children with mental health and its easy to get anxious looking stuff up online....im sure we've all used NHS Direct to check a little fever then come away thinking we've caught some tropical disease!! I sometimes think its a way of coping to research issues with children and to confirm that your not going round the twist in relation to having tried all and every trick and tip in the book to reach a normal level of parenting....it is not easy.

 

[BikeGirlKent]

Friend of mine has two children in the spectrum who managed to struggle through primary school just, bumping along the bottom before just not being able to cope in secondary school, high anxiety and other bits... Kept changing over the years. Regular trips up to London each month to see the specialists (can't remember which hospital), but the eldest has now gained some qualifications and been able to attend college with a high level of support! They are both lovely children who mine grew up playing with them. Keep going and badgering those specialists!

Muddle through, grit my teeth and fight....its a shame it has to be that way to get children with extra needs the same education as everyone else but it goes back to the core of the whole system not coping, not being set up very well and things taking so long. Both of mine are on meds and by law should be seen every 6 months as they are controlled drugs, but local hospital team are always losing staff etc and so an appointment from December was done over the phone last month! Really not acceptable but ill keep on fighting....riding my bike, out in the country side, escaping the day to day battle is my solace and id lose my senses without it!!

 

[steve50]

[QUOTE 4419139, member: 45"]Sorry, I wasn't intending to be unhelpful. What I meant was that any chance of comment from someone with the experience you're looking for is likely to be mixed up in comments from genuine people who don't understand.

I'm not sure where you've found the term from but it does appear that you're already jumping the gun.[/QUOTE]

The "term"...............O.D.D.??
Not jumping the gun at all, I have done some considerable research into the disorder acting on the advice of someone who recognised that our little one "might" have it due to his behavioral patterns. I repeat, I came here to ask if anyone else had experience of raising or dealing with children who have this disorder, some (most) replies from genuine people have been helpful and I have now a good reliable source of help and information from someone far more experienced in this field than myself. I am not "jumping the gun" as you put it, I am erring on the side of caution and doing what I believe is in the best interests of my little charge, if it is proved there is nothing wrong with him , all well and good, if however he does have a disorder I am going to ensure i do everything possible I can for him.
@User I would appreciate any further helpful input from yourself but if you are simply out to nitpick i would prefer you didn't say anything.

 

[r04DiE]

I don't mean to belittle your obvious distress with the child but.... isn't this just a fancy name for naughty? We had to suffer a naughty child on a recent 90 minute flight and by the end, all the passengers around him were ready to commit murder. As the web page says, consistency, routine and firmness are the keys along with positive reinforcement of the right behaviour.

Autism is a very real condition. This is very sad to read and you and your fellow passengers should walk a mile in the shoes of people such as @steve50's before you are so quick to judge. I'd like you all to sit on an eight hour flight with an autistic person and see how you got on.

This sort of thing makes me really angry. There is no way for you to know whether or not a child, any child has ASC, or not. People that deny autism are just ignorant, old fashioned, out-of-touch and they make the lives of autistic people and their parents or guardians all the more difficult with such attitudes. Autism has been around for a long time and people like you need to accept that it is a very real disability that wrecks homes and lives.

It's very sad that people still think this way.

...Everything has abbreviations and special names these days...

Autism has been around since the forties.

 

[r04DiE]

[QUOTE 4419266, member: 45"]I'm not nitpicking, I offered advice.

There are a lot of possible reasons, or combinations of reasons, why this child (who you've chosen to dedicate yourself to and for which I have a huge amount of respect) is displaying the behaviours you see. Have you looked at the other possibilities or have you just done considerable research into this one possibility? You might be on the right track, but you could equally be completely wasting your time. And coming to a cycling forum, where it's likely that very, very few readers won't have had to google ODD to know what you're talking about, isn't going to help. But I've already said that.

My (intended) helpful input, from someone who deals with this stuff for a living, is to get a steer from someone professionally who has knowledge of the possibilities and can steer you to another professional who can confirm or dismiss the options, and then do your research.[/QUOTE]
I have to say that I don't think that @User is trying to nitpick, I think he is genuinely trying to help you. That said, I think you are doing the right thing by asking your questions on here and that you are sure to meet plenty of people who have some experience of autism, since it is such a widespread condition.

If you do get a diagnosis, other parents will be your rock, so coming on here and finding some may not be a bad thing!

 

[steve50]

[QUOTE 4419266, member: 45"]I'm not nitpicking, I offered advice.

There are a lot of possible reasons, or combinations of reasons, why this child (who you've chosen to dedicate yourself to and for which I have a huge amount of respect) is displaying the behaviours you see. Have you looked at the other possibilities or have you just done considerable research into this one possibility? You might be on the right track, but you could equally be completely wasting your time. And coming to a cycling forum, where it's likely that very, very few readers won't have had to google ODD to know what you're talking about, isn't going to help. But I've already said that.

My (intended) helpful input, from someone who deals with this stuff for a living, is to get a steer from someone professionally who has knowledge of the possibilities and can steer you to another professional who can confirm or dismiss the options, and then do your research.[/QUOTE]

Fair enough, i apologise, I have approached my local doctors surgery who, and I quote " we will have to read up on it to get a better understanding of this ODD" none of the "professionals" in the practice had any real knowledge of the condition other than they had "heard of it" so we shall see what if anything transpires once I have spoken to them at length. Hopefully they will refer our little one to a more experienced professional.

 

[r04DiE]

Its a hard situation @steve50 for some to understand and yes it is a very new, but very real and life changing mental health condition. Its good to be knowledgeable on the different aspects of children mental health as a lot of conditions go hand in hand and usually a diagnosis can include 2, 3 or even more types of conditions. Its hard to explain to people and its very hard to show people as many children affected by mental health look the same as any other child, there not in a wheelchair, don't have blind dog....would people be so quick to judge if confronted with children like this? Theres a lot of information out there and for some reason these conditions are becoming more and more common. Yes some children are just naughty...I do agree, wether that be upbringing, lack of discipline or just how they are and will continue to be into adult life, but children with genuine mental health issues are not kicking back due to this, they are not wired in the conventional way and process everyday life very differently to you and I. Ive been going through a battle for 9 years with my two children, through diagnosis, bullying, medication issues, self harming, depression....the list goes on, and its a horrible thing to have to watch as a parent because you try your best but sometimes your banging your head against a brick wall!! Anyway, feel free to ask me anything, I've gained a lot of knowledge and work closely with the National Autistic Society on case studies and giving first hand insight into my experiences with specialists, the system to get my children the right help, councils, schools and anything else we come up against. Its a constant battle and I'm happy to point people in the right direction

^+1 all the way and very well put!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

[QUOTE 4418775, member: 45"]I think that bedrooms are for a child to appreciate their own space and are an essential part of their development. We don't have TVs in bedrooms, but the concept is defunct with these new fangled smart phones and tablets. I see no reason why managed screen use should not be allowed in a young person's personal space. Our wifi has a timer on for each device set disconnect at certain times.[/QUOTE]
Indeed. Managed is the key as you indicate.

 

[summerdays]

my friend had lots of contact with the local CAMHS team.... They got to know them very well and also all the other disciplines that were involved. Can't remember what was needed to get referred to them.

 

[Levo-Lon]

That might have been the accepted way to "deal with" children back then, today it is totally unacceptable and i would much rather use non violent discipline to raise this youngster the same as i did with my own children. ODD is something that has only come to light in recent years so not commonly heard of.


..

I glad to hear that..i wasn't that keen on being hit with a wooden bat..or punched..

my mother destroyed my plaster paris cast on my arm battering me once..im glad i had a broken arm or she would have broke it.. ..

 

[steve50]

[QUOTE 4419344, member: 45"]No need to apologise, I know I can be a little direct sometimes and that's my fault not yours.

I don't envy you nor any other parent at this stage. Something is going on with your boy which is very individual to him, close to "naughty children" (and so easily dismissable) and which could possibly be either a diagnosis or particular collection of behaviours which is unusual. So getting to the right person is tricky. The boy is in care so presumably has experienced stuff that he shouldn't have had to, and the consequences of that are unpredictable.

If he's a Looked After child isn't he under anyone health-wise who could get you easier access to a multi-disciplinary assessment? If the behaviours are going to be accepted as non-typical then I'd think he should at least be referred to a psychologist.[/QUOTE]

we are Andrews legal guardians and as such he is no longer regarded as looked after, he came to us at the age of twenty months and had issues with aggression and a real fear of anyone in uniform. we now have the anger/ aggression under control (mostly) and have just this last weekend got him over his fear of people in costume / uniform after a trip to digger land. He can still be a bit pushy with other kids but not overly aggressive like he was.
We don't know what he has witnessed or been part of prior to coming into our care and as he was so young I (mistakenly maybe) thought his very early life memories would not have affected him? We still have a social worker somewhere in the back ground so I think i will approach her to seek further support and advice regards refferal.

 

[Julia9054]

Friends of mine adopted their son at the age of two. Difficulties with his behaviour became apparent at primary school and got worse. He was diagnosed with Aspergers at around the age of ten and, after many difficult years, was finally able to access the specialist help he needed. He is now at a specialist school and doing well.
They believe that the diagnosis took much longer than it should have because he was adopted and various psychiatrists and experts put his difficulties down to attachment disorder.
Something, possibly, for the OP to keep in mind when dealing with professionals. I wish you all the best.

 

[gbb]

I started to read the ODD article and began to wonder...is that what affected my youngest son who is now 30...but I knew at 3 years old, he was going to be a handfull.
Defiant, arguementative, determined to go against whatever seemed the norm...but as I read on, its not ODD, he was popular with friends and while extremely 'troublesome', he could display (and still does) extreme politeness and gratitude.
I wonder if he will ever change, his turn of the cards has been a poor one but its not for the want of trying, his brother and sister have all turned out well balanced individuals.
Hes improving, perhaps he's finally maturing but he's pushed everyone to the absolute limit over the years so I would urge you...seek help from the relevent agencies. We never did, just fought with him but equally for him, never stopped trying to encourage him etc etc, and TBF he always worked after a slow start when he left school. Hes suffered depression and in all truth, so have we because of it all. Its like he has two heads, one delightful at times, one destructive. Self harm and attempted suicide are distinct possibilities if our son is anything to go by. Perhaps our greatest mistake was not seeking proper help. Our experience seems a bit different but don't make our mistake and try to muddle through.

 

[steve50]

Thank you all for your input, it has been taken onboard.

 

[jefmcg]

but he was only 20 months old when he came to us so I can't think that his past will have too much of an effect regards his behaviour pattern.

Caveat: I have no expertise in this area, but I think you are very wrong about this. That's nearly half his life. I still have memories from when I was 22 months (staying with my aunt when my brother was born). And even if he has no definite memories, he passed (or missed) hundreds of developmental milestones when he was in that bad place. You do a lot of your intellectual and social learning before you start talking. Even something as seemingly innocuous as lack of skin to skin contact can cause a baby to fail to thrive.

And of course he either had no parent figure in his life, or he was "abandoned" by a parent. He would be aware of that.

I heard a report about kids who undergo terrible experiences; some turn in fine adults and some don't. The difference is having a constant source of unconditional love in their lives. You are doing a great thing for Andrew.

You might find Act 1 of this interesting http://m.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/317/unconditional-love