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Over 60 is Sh*te

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by JamesAC, 9 Nov 2007.

  1. JamesAC

    JamesAC Senior Member

    Location:
    London
    Well, not exactly.

    When you're over 60, things start to happen.

    If you live in London, you get a Freedom Pass - travel anywhere on the tube, bus or local rail (after 0930) for free. It's brilliant.

    You can apply for a Senior Rail Card, so if you want to journey beyond London, you can get 30% reduction.

    An application form for Winter Heating Allowance came through the door .. it seems that, willy nilly, I'm going to get £200.

    My Bowel Cancer kit arrived. What? Yep. From a caring NHS, a little package came throgh the door. It's a kit to detect early signs of bowel cancer. You have a thing like a scratch card, with three sets of windows; on three separate occasions, you collect a fresh sample of stool, and with the little cardboard spatular that comes with the kit, you smear a sample on one of the windows. There is a helpful leaflet. You mustn't collect stool out of the toilet bowl, it might be contaminated. So (it says in the leaflet), use several pieces of folded toiltet paper, or put your hand inside a small plastic bag, or use a disposable plastic glove. And sh*t into it! So there you are, perched on the lavvy, toilet papered/plastic baged/gloved hand poised, full;scratch card thing on one knee, instruction leaflet on other knee. And your wife bangs on the door to say that your brother's on the phone.

    I suppose it's worth it!

    I wonder what happens when you're 70?

    :biggrin:
     
  2. girofan

    girofan New Member

    You can also get a prostate check through your blood test for early sign of cancer in that area. NICE!!
     
  3. Tetedelacourse

    Tetedelacourse New Member

    Location:
    Rosyth
    Why did it take all these years for your brother to phone?
     
  4. he wants to know how to use the kit, but only has one free hand to 'phone.

    L
     
  5. ChrisKH

    ChrisKH Shorts Adjustment Expert

    Location:
    Essex
    We'll all be there one day James. Look on the bright side, at least you've got a large bowel.....:biggrin:
     
  6. NickM

    NickM Über Member

    Ah, to be 60... It must be bloody marvellous to be homing in on retirement <insert 'wistful' smiley here>
     
  7. Slowgrind

    Slowgrind New Member

    I`ve had sh*t on me windows for years and I`m only fifty!