Many years ago, when our electric mower expired, I had the bright idea of buying a petrol one. Flymo with a 2 stroke petrol engine. I would be able to go anywhere with it. i.e. not cut the chord by mowing over it, as had unfortunately happened once before.
So, proudly back from B&Q with my new purchase.
Filled it up with petrol, with the correct oil mix.
Took it out to the front garden for a test run. Nice quiet Saturday afternoon.
Turned on the "kill" switch.
Set the choke.
My wife, who had been sceptical about this purchase (to put it mildly) is watching from the living room.
Pulled the starter string a couple of times. Engine nearly catches....
Pull the string again. Engine gently putt putt putts into life. Lovely smell of burnt 2 stroke oil - I used to be a biker and a 2 stroke fan....
Look through the window at my wife as if to say "see - what's all the fuss about?"
Engine is warming now, so I can turn the choke off...
OH MY GOD! THE THING STARTS REVVING ITS HEAD OFF AND SOUNDS LIKE AN SAS PLATOON HAS BEEN LANDED BY HELICOPTER INTO THE STREET!!!! IF I DON'T HANG ON IT WILL PROBABLY BECOME PROPERLY AIRBORNE.
Neighbours are scraping themselves off their ceilings. Some will probably need counselling. Or Valium. Or a new house about 100 miles away from this maniac with the infernal mowing machine.
I eventually got the front lawn cut, then switched the thing off and stood there with my ears ringing, and my hands tingling from the high frequency vibrations. Withering glances from her indoors and a comment about boys and their toys..... couldn't properly hear it for the Flymo-induced tinnitus that was now afflicting me.
But to be fair we had that mower about 12 years and it ran really well. Eventually it reached a point where so many things were wrong with it that it surpassed my level of bodging ability to keep it limping along and I took it to the dump. Goodbye old friend......