I had an epiphany on New Year's Eve when I was in my mid-20s. I'd been sitting in a Coventry pub watching the other drunks do 'the countdown' when I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and a rather intoxicated young woman attached herself to my face like some kind of brandy-and-Babycham-soaked limpet.
I remember asking myself whether this should be classified as a pleasant surprise or a nasty shock and while I was mulling over that, the countdown finally terminated with the usual raucous cacophony. She peeled herself off me and slumped in the chair opposite. "Happy New Year!" she slurred in a rather the-worse-for-wear Coventry accent. "Ditto" said I.
My mates had clocked what was going on and waved goodbye as they filed out of the pub to stagger off to another one of Coventry's award-winning nightspots. 'The Strange Woman' engaged me in a drunken conversation, the details of which are entirely lost to me up to the point where she started to complain about her ex. They had split up which is why she was alone on New Year's Eve and felt it necessary to pounce on me - fair enough - necessity is the mother of invention, and all that ...
I thought it only polite to ask her why she'd split up with her boyfriend. Apparently she'd been really upset when he sold the expensive leather coat that she'd bought him for his birthday. He'd run out of money to make his weekly purchase of heroin. (It's
such a nuisance when that happens!)
Okay, her ex was a smackhead junkie - I could see that would make for a troubled relationship! "How did you get together in the first place?" "He asked me out after he'd raped me!" I must have misheard her reply ... "Pardon me?" " "He asked me out after he'd raped me!"
It took a few seconds for the enormity of that statement to percolate through my semi-pickled brain ...
"WTF!" I stared at her and she stared back at me with a deeply wounded look in her eyes. This was a pretty troubled young woman.
I probed further and it turned out that she'd been sitting upstairs on a bus one dark night with only smackhead junkie for company, a few seats back. When she got up to get off the bus, he'd followed her. She realised that he was following her and tried to get away, but he'd caught her, dragged her down an alleyway, threatened her, raped her, stole the money from her handbag ...
So far, so bad - I said that was terrible, but how the hell do you go from being raped and robbed by someone to buying them expensive leather coats?
He'd cried! He wasn't totally evil because he'd cried after he raped her. She felt sorry for him and gave him a little cuddle, and that's when he asked her out, and she'd felt really flattered and had said yes, and that was the start of a troubled 2-year relationship. Who would have thought it could possibly go wrong after such a promising start?
I felt deeply uneasy, and very sobered by all of this. The young woman clearly needed help and I wasn't up to the job so I decided to say goodbye and set off after my mates. She got upset when I got up to go and said that she'd hoped I would walk her home. She'd never be able to get a taxi on a night as busy as that and she had to walk through a rough neighbourhood.
Oh ... Quite clearly it
was a rough place because she'd already been raped and robbed once before there. Trouble is, it was a couple of miles out of the city centre, the wrong way for me. I hesitated, then decided to do the decent thing - a 2 mile walk out with her, a 2 mile walk back, then a 2 mile walk the other way to get home.
We were not walking quickly. She had short legs and was not exactly walking in a straight line. It must have taken us nearly an hour and a half to get to her house.
She turned to me with a coy smile on her face and said "Listen, I don't have sex on a first date ..."
(Huh?!
) "... but I'm free tomorrow night, so how about it?"
I muttered something about meeting my (non-existent) girlfriend, turned and fled!
And
that, folks, is when I decided that I wasn't going to 'do' New Year's Eve any more!