Prepare to repel boarders...

[ComedyPilot]

Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for them. I'm not a pretty sight at the best of times but me barely in my bib shorts is a sight that would startle timid women and make police horses faint.

 

[vernon]

You're not wrong there

 

[ColinJ]

I think you'll find you get drunk a bit easier/quicker. Hence the lower drinking limit. Warfarin thinning the blood.

Actually, the last time I gave up for a couple of years, I found that 2 pints was enough for me until I got used to it again and I wasn't even on Warfarin then!

 

[guitarpete247]

I'm going to keep a pair of bibs by the front door from now on . The other half refers to them as my mankini and calls me Borat when I wear a pair anyway.
Should frighten away anyone.

 

[Cycling Dan]

What are the Scottish up to now?

 

[captain nemo1701]

Many years ago when I lved in Laaandon I was taking evening classes in practical philosophy so I fancied myself as a bit of a thinker. When an African lady knocked at my door in Walthamstow and started talking about religion I was in the mood for an argument and I started giving her as good as she gave me. Within ten minutes here eyes had glazed over and she was looking for excuses to leave... but she took another ten minutes to get away because I kept bothering her.

I got a load of philosophical stuff from my ex-partner while he was studying a degree in it. If I'm in the mood, In usually start asking the following questions:

1. Why is God always male?. For a being that's eternal, it doesn't obviously need to procreate so why assign it a gender?.

2. People who wrote the Bible had no concept of the Earth as a planet, no concept of the existence of North & South America, Australia etc. So what exactly do they mean when they talk about 'the world'?.

3. With reference to Noah and 1) above, did you know that there's not physically enough water in the world to achieve burying mountains?.
4. If God knew that Adam & Eve wre going to 'sin' by eating the forbidden fruit, then why did God put the blasted tree in Eden anyway?. Bit of a boo-boo there methinks, for a super-deity who's supposed to know everything.

5. If God is omnipresent, evreywhere all the time, then by definition, it must occupy all points in the universe simultaneously. Therefore (try to keep up at the back), God IS the universe and we are just figments of it's imagination. And if it's everywhere, then churches as places of worship are largely redundant as anywhere, like my garden shed, will do. So why do you want me to come along on sunday and sit in church for a couple of hours?.

The last one was thought up after a heavy drinking sesh one night when I was a student. The JV's have their 'kingdom hall' about 100 yards up the road from my house, but oddly, I've never had them on the doorstep. One thing I've noted though, a belief in God seems to grant you special parking rights ie. sticking out into junctions, blocking pavements etc .

Anyway, here's Eddie on religion:

 

[martint235]

What kind of god makes a big thing about giving out free will and then sends a flood when people don't do what it wants?

 

[Spinney]

What kind of God designed men so their dangly bits have to be on the vulnerable outside so they don't get too hot?

 

[numbnuts]

I don't know all the answers about God and sometimes I think there are more questions than answers, but all I know/believe someone watches over me and for that I'm prepared to give some of my time to him.

 

[BarryBonkers]

Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for them. I'm not a pretty sight at the best of times but me barely in my bib shorts is a sight that would startle police horses and make timid women faint.

40 posts and still no photo?

 

[Globalti]

To introduce a more serious note.... in many many visits to Africa and the Middle East I've come slowly to the conclusion that religious fatalism is actually a worse scourge than corruption; it makes people accept their woes as "God's Will" rather than question and do something to change the situation.

 

[vernon]

To introduce a more serious note....

Please don't

 

[steve52]

lets get them to convert to cyclisum

 

[Archie_tect]

One of my friends is a JW... well... 'friend' is probably stretching it a bit.
He knows I'm beyond help, and don't take him seriously, not since I caught him buying an Hawaiian shirt in M+S last year....

 

[vernon]

40 posts and still no photo?

No!