My son is going out with a really nice girl. They get on great and they make a wonderful couple. However, her parents don’t like my lad. Her mum and dad arranged a marriage for her sister and want to do the same for her and my boy, being British, isn’t what they’re looking for. The poor girl gets a very hard time from her parents and it’s not unusual for her to spend the first half hour or so, when they come to visit, in tears. At her last meeting with her parents they told her that my lad was ‘racially inferior’ and she should split up right now. I was born with a ‘lazy eye’ which means my right eye wanders off on it’s own when it gets bored. I bear more a passing resemblance to Jack Elam on one hand and Lurch on the other. So from a ‘shallow end of the gene pool’ point of view I’d be among their worst nightmares. I’d just love to meet them so they can get a taste of what their grand children might look like. My son and wife are offended, but I just find it hilarious.