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Real Fathers For Justice....

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Tinkstheminks, 3 Dec 2007.

  1. Tinkstheminks

    Tinkstheminks New Member

    I was thinking of joining them.... I know it sounds odd but I will explain.....
    I talked to my local Rep and he gave me some extremely interesting facts and information on our Child law and the legal system which is currently failing children all over the country... He told me that there are a number of women members in the group... however, I put thought to the whole mater and realised a couple of things..
    a) It really should be Real Parents for kids as I share the belief that BOTH parents should be in the child’s life regardless of what they think of each other.
    :biggrin: The Law is more that rubbish in this country and fails them across the board!
    c) Each and every Judges, Solicitors, Barristers, Social workers & reporter I have come across so far have not been prepared to look at what is clearly a dreadful situation, with Fathers and Mothers all over the land being removed or manipulated out of their children's lives... that while we make dealing with the welfare/future of individual children in the country a MONEY MAKING opportunity, justice and 'the right thing for the child' will never be the diving force behind any court hearing!!
    d) If I had loads of money I could effectively go back and forth to court and actually get nowhere!!

    e) It is a fact that no matter the reason, in this country if a a Parent leaves the family home they will NEVER be treated with the respect they should be!
    f) It is a fact that if the reason a residecy battle is being fought is due to a breakdown in communication or one parent is manipulating the truth to remain in control, the court do not want to know and actually only allocate a 2hr slot for the hearing!!

    I'll just climb down off my box now, but if anybody would care to comment/correct me on any these points I would be please to hear their opinion...
    I am thinking of starting a forum called Real Parents for Justice.... and I won't be charging £25p/a for the pleasure!!
     
  2. Cathryn

    Cathryn California Correspondant

    I'm with you. I was appalled to find out a few years ago that if a bloke has a baby with a girl he's not married to, he has no rights to see the child or influence it's future. Heart breaking stuff. I've always looked fondly on F4J even if I don't always agree with what they're doing - at least they're bringing this kind of thing to the forefront. It's horrid.
     
  3. Danny

    Danny Legendary Member

    Location:
    York
    I do not believe this is true. The family courts will look at what is in the best interests of the child, and normally agree on some form of shared access arrangements.

    I am sure that occasional injustices do occur, but I am highly suspicious of the F4J lot. I remember after one of the F4J stunts the ex-wife of a F4J member commented that her ex-husband was spending so much time on campaigning that he wasn't spending the time he was allowed to spend with his kids.

    Also F4J never campaign about the tens of thousands of men who simply walk away from their responsibilities and refuse to provide any maintenace for their children at all.
     
  4. Cathryn

    Cathryn California Correspondant

    I guess the occasion I'm thinking of didn't get as far as the courts, who, I concur should generally look at the interests of the child.

    I also agree that F4J aren't perfect but I do think they raise an interesting point. And yep, thousands of Dads do walk away but there are many voices supporting women in that situation and very few supporting Dads in difficult circumstances. Bit like domestic violence the 'other way round'.
     
  5. Danny

    Danny Legendary Member

    Location:
    York
    I might add that I am not meaning to be unsympathetic to Thinkstheminks situation. A relationship breakdown involving kids is always going to be very difficult for all concerned.

    Have you and your ex tried going to a Family Mediation service? Some people find this very helpful, and it is alway better to try to negotiate a solution that you can both live with and which is in the interests of the children.

    Alternatively if you feel you have suffered an injustice you could seek impartial advice from your local Citizens Advice Bureau. The CAB will also be able to refer you to a solicitor specialising in Family Law.
     
  6. marinyork

    marinyork Resting in suspended Animation

    Location:
    Logopolis
    The only case I know of someone going through the courts was where their son wrote a letter to the judge and this roused their suspicions. They had an investigation and the mother was trying to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, refusing to cooperate, being provacative to the social worker and the judge still initially ruled in her favour. Eventually their patience ran out but I think it does show how biased it can be.
     
  7. Danny

    Danny Legendary Member

    Location:
    York
    I am sure that it is true that there are Dads out there who need support.

    My suspicon however is that most of the F4J campaign is made up of men who have behaved pretty badly during their relationships and then can't get over the fact that their former partners have thrown them out.

    I would have a lot more sympathy for them if they devoted more time to genuinely supporting other fathers, and less time in massaging their bruised egos by engaging in silly stunts.
     
  8. doozy

    doozy New Member

    Hi Guys, just joined, and came across this olde post. Sorry to bring up old topics, but I just wanted to say how appalled I was at the comments by Danny re. the campaigning fathers who are fighting a cause to see their children.

    Having had first hand experience of the UK family law courts and the members of both F4J and Real Fathers For Justice, I can assure all readers, that the views expressed by Danny are probably the views I would have held before I got involved in Family Law.

    So for that reason I'll give Danny the benefit of the doubt, due to lack of experience, naivety or involvement in the system that constantly fails children, families and fathers.

    If any members on here would like real first hand advice, info or answers on this subject, please feel free to contact me. I know it's not very cycle centric, but if affects many men, and I hope I can help any members facing the daunting task of fighting for their role as a father.
     
  9. vernon

    vernon Harder than Ronnie Pickering

    Location:
    Meanwood, Leeds
    'Let sleeping dogs lie' springs to mind.
     
  10. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    Location:
    Thumberland
    .. and their puppies... :-)
     
  11. biggs682

    biggs682 Smile a mile bike provider

    Location:
    Northamptonshire
    i have been on same thoughts about joining f4j for years as limited access to daughter , spoke to school social / family worker who spoke to the mother and i got some better access from it , just seen her again 2 yrs later to try and get some more time .

    try following this option you never know
     
  12. numbnuts

    numbnuts Guru

    Location:
    North Baddesley
    I had a daughter once :cry: ....... and as the song goes "the winner takes it all"