Ronnie Barker.......Bucking Frilliant !!!


Oldest Teenager In Town
Nr Bath
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 1970s. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes!

The irony is that the BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much
for the whining herds
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss
pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks,
so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!




Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Meanwood, Leeds
Spoonerised versions of Cinderella do exist but the above version and its link to Ronnie Barker is disputed.

I've come across the tale before and never managed to find any verification that the above version was ever delivered by anyone on radio or TV.

Spend a while googling Rindercella and several versions and performers will crop up during the searching..


I doubt that would get on the Beeb, and it doesn't strike me as Ronnie Barker's style at all. To heavy with the swearing.


Über Member
Admin said:
I doubt that would get on the Beeb, and it doesn't strike me as Ronnie Barker's style at all. To heavy with the swearing.
Indeed, though reading through it imagining RB reading it in his deadpan newsreader style had me in stucking fitches....


Rohan Man
Bugbrooke UK
I seem to remember a rindercella sketch but the spoonerisms were less 'full on'!!!

No way that level of swearing would have passed an editor never mind been broadcast without headlines in the DM.


Senior Member
Whether this sketch can be attributed to Bonnie Rarker might be disputable, but the older I get and the more I see re-runs of The Two Ronnies, the easy-sounding wordplay of said writer comes across as gucking fenius.
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