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Rugby - these made me smile

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 10 Oct 2007.

  1. cisamcgu

    cisamcgu Veteran

    Location:
    Merseyside-ish
    A group of English winemakers are heading to Australia and NZ today on a
    fact finding mission. Nothing to do with the viticulture, they just
    want to know how to bottle it so spectacularly



    ***



    World leaders are united in their praise for the All Blacks in doing their
    bit to reduce their carbon footprint by dropping the Wallabies off on
    their way home .



    ***

    What's the difference between the Wallabies and a tea bag?
    The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

    ***

    What's the difference between an All Black and an arsonist?
    An arsonist wouldn't waste five matches.

    ***

    What do you call 15 blokes sitting watching the world cup semi-final.....
    The Wallabies.
     
  2. walker

    walker New Member

    Location:
    Bromley, Kent
    Like it
     
  3. girofan

    girofan New Member

    :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: If there's one thing our southern hemisphere cousins hate, it's losing to the northern nations.
    Having the piss taken after is unbearable!! :blush::thumbsup::angry:
     
  4. ajevans

    ajevans New Member

    Location:
    Birmingham
    It's times like this that makes me wish I still lived in London so I could goad the multitudes of Ozzies that live there.
     
  5. Canrider

    Canrider Guru

    All Blacks? Weren't they the 'Mostly Greys' this time?
     
  6. SamNichols

    SamNichols New Member

    Location:
    Colne, Lancs
    Oh, you can find them manning bars all over rural England. I have no idea why Australians come over to work in places like Royston and Edale in Derbyshire, but they always seem to be there.
     
  7. Frazer

    Frazer New Member

    Ikea are opening a new range of stores in Australia. Apparently the 'flattened pack' furniture is proving most popular.
     
  8. Frazer

    Frazer New Member

    And an old one from the last world cup, still makes me chuckle though:

    Clive Woodward is going through the Airport security after landing with the team in Australia. He is asked by the security guard 'Do you have a criminal record?'. He replies, 'Sorry no, I didnt realise you still needed one'.
     
  9. ash68

    ash68 New Member

    Location:
    northumberland
    Thanks,they gave me a hearty chortle:biggrin:
     
  10. Three rugby fans were on their way to a game when one fan noticed a foot protruding from a clump of bushes on the side of the road. They all stopped and discovered it was a nude female, dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Springbok fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The All-Black fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Australian fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

    The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the springbok cap, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the All-Black cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. The officer then lifted the Australian cap, replaced it, lifted it replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time.

    The Australian fan was getting upset and finally asked," what are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking lifting and looking?"

    Well," said the officer," I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under an Australian hat, I find an @rsehole!"
     
  11. ChrisKH

    ChrisKH Shorts Adjustment Expert

    Location:
    Essex
    You do have to wonder about the intelligence of the Australian rugby hierarchy and the guy who said everyone hates the English, that was all the motivation that was needed. Even if it is true.

    The French, to their credit, have been very polite non-committal and let the press run articles inflating Chabal who is, apparently, going to win it for the French. The guy's a one trick monkey who they can only bring on in the last 20, as he hasn't the legs for a full game, if things are going badly.

    Get the motivation right and England can win. Could we have a few Scots on here saying they are supporting the French please? I can then fax it to the England camp.:blush: