Rugby - these made me smile

cisamcgu

Guru
Location
Merseyside-ish
A group of English winemakers are heading to Australia and NZ today on a
fact finding mission. Nothing to do with the viticulture, they just
want to know how to bottle it so spectacularly



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World leaders are united in their praise for the All Blacks in doing their
bit to reduce their carbon footprint by dropping the Wallabies off on
their way home .



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What's the difference between the Wallabies and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

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What's the difference between an All Black and an arsonist?
An arsonist wouldn't waste five matches.

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What do you call 15 blokes sitting watching the world cup semi-final.....
The Wallabies.
 

walker

New Member
Location
Bromley, Kent
Like it
 

SamNichols

New Member
Location
Colne, Lancs
ajevans said:
It's times like this that makes me wish I still lived in London so I could goad the multitudes of Ozzies that live there.
Oh, you can find them manning bars all over rural England. I have no idea why Australians come over to work in places like Royston and Edale in Derbyshire, but they always seem to be there.
 

Frazer

New Member
Ikea are opening a new range of stores in Australia. Apparently the 'flattened pack' furniture is proving most popular.
 

Frazer

New Member
And an old one from the last world cup, still makes me chuckle though:

Clive Woodward is going through the Airport security after landing with the team in Australia. He is asked by the security guard 'Do you have a criminal record?'. He replies, 'Sorry no, I didnt realise you still needed one'.
 

ash68

New Member
Location
northumberland
Thanks,they gave me a hearty chortle:biggrin:
 
Three rugby fans were on their way to a game when one fan noticed a foot protruding from a clump of bushes on the side of the road. They all stopped and discovered it was a nude female, dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Springbok fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The All-Black fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Australian fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the springbok cap, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the All-Black cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. The officer then lifted the Australian cap, replaced it, lifted it replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time.

The Australian fan was getting upset and finally asked," what are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking lifting and looking?"

Well," said the officer," I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under an Australian hat, I find an @rsehole!"
 

ChrisKH

Veteran
Location
Essex
You do have to wonder about the intelligence of the Australian rugby hierarchy and the guy who said everyone hates the English, that was all the motivation that was needed. Even if it is true.

The French, to their credit, have been very polite non-committal and let the press run articles inflating Chabal who is, apparently, going to win it for the French. The guy's a one trick monkey who they can only bring on in the last 20, as he hasn't the legs for a full game, if things are going badly.

Get the motivation right and England can win. Could we have a few Scots on here saying they are supporting the French please? I can then fax it to the England camp.:blush:
 
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