Rules of life

XmisterIS

Purveyor of fine nonsense
There are certain little, irritating occurrences in life that seem to be more regular than chance would permit! The most obvious one is that if you drop a piece of toast or a slice of pizza it will always, without fail, land face-down.

A few others I have noticed are:

1) When you are expecting a delivery requiring a signature, it will probably arrive when you are out. This is especially true if you have only just popped to the shop for 5 minutes and have been at home for the remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes!

2) The T.V. weather reporter will always wear a big, beaming, happy smile when she tells you that the entire bank holiday week end will be rained off, with the sunny weather returning at 7am sharp on Tuesday.

3) When a piece of food escapes from the pan during cooking, it will most often land exactly in the incredibly small gap between the cooker and the worktop. You couldn't make it do that if you tried.

4) When doing DIY or gardening on a Sunday afternoon, you will suddenly find that you need to rush off unexpectedly and buy something that is crucial to the completion of the job precisely 5 minutes after the DIY shop has shut.

Any more to add to the list?!!
 

Sh4rkyBloke

Jaffa Cake monster
Location
Manchester, UK
When using the car for the first time in ages you suddenly realise that it needs petrol... again... just like it did last time you decided you needed to use it... how does The Wife know you'll be using it so she can leave it to you to get the petrol??? :biggrin::biggrin:
 

mr Mag00

rising member
Location
Deepest Dorset
when putting in contact lenses, the morning you are short on time is when you drop, or it turns inside out or you cannot get it from the lens holder and so it gets overhandled and needs a rinse before attempting again.
 

Globalti

Legendary Member
You've had a curry and two pints of Old Peculiar, you settle down, pick a magazine, let rip and..... no bog paper!
 

swee'pea99

Legendary Member
If you work on decking that's 95% wood and 5% gaps, if you drop something - especially something small and irreplaceable and crucial to the working of an entire complex piece of kit - it will land on a gap.
 

mr Mag00

rising member
Location
Deepest Dorset
i remember reading in an mtb mags years ago about 'fridge suck' working on a piece of equipment if you drop any small part it will roll under a fridge.

also closley linked to the 'jesus spring' which when released will ping off in a random direction resulting in operative exclaiming 'OH JESUS where did that go?'
 

Brahan

Über Member
Location
West Sussex
The evening your partner takes a photo of a certain part of your anatomy in a state of thundering arousal will be followed by the morning your in laws decide to go poking their nose into your digital camera.

The pan of milk on the hob will sit in a dormant state watching your attention levels and the second your thoughts are else where it will errupt all over the recently cleaned cooker.

You will not remember everyting you need when in a rush.
 

mr Mag00

rising member
Location
Deepest Dorset
The evening your partner takes a photo of a certain part of your anatomy in a state of thundering arousal will be followed by the morning your in laws decide to go poking their nose into your digital camera.
story behind this?
 
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