School run mums (and dads)

[BigonaBianchi]

I always used to pick my son up when he was very small and the Mums were very cliquey...I said hello and they all knew who I was ...but it took forever for them to accept me...then I couldnt get rid of them.

 

[Fnaar]

[QUOTE 2647047, member: 1314"]I was a house husband for about a year in 2003. My kids were 3 and 1. I took the kids to nurseries etc..
...I was the only bloke and none of the woman guardians spoke to me. I was completely blanked. If I was going to be the stay-at-home child carer more permanently I’dve had to start thinking of some alternative strategies to engage.[/quote]
I too have done this (or been the main taker-to-school person) and been similarly blanked, so to speak. From my completely non-scientific observations, those blokes that don't get blanked are either stunningly handsome (I'm not, I have to admit) or rather camp (I can ham it up, but I'm not naturally camp)

 

[Spinney]

I do deduce from this thread that women cannot drive and think/look at the same time, is this a eureka moment ?

SOME women apparently cannot drive and think/look...
The ones that are so air-headed or bone idle they cannot be bothered to walk the sprogs to school/do not realise the benefits of walking. Or the men who are so air-headed...

Nothing against the ones who have a valid reason for using the car, and use the car properly. This does not include the ones that park across the end of my drive at school-run time!

 

[mr_cellophane]

A quiet day at the local primary

 

[Salad Dodger]

In my experience, most of the mums drive their kids to school, because they have got to hurry straight off to work afterwards, to earn money, so that they can pay for the car that they are using to drive their kids to school....

Of course, as such, all rules of the road do not have to apply to them, as they are clearly TOO BUSY and TOO STRESSED by the need to get to work. So cyclists had better just get the hell out of their way!

 

[Sandra6]

I still think just over a mile is a long way for a 4 1/2 year old before a full day at school but it shouldn't be long before she's up to it and your idea is a good one. I will be working on her cycling in as its then dead easy for me to cycle in to work as its in the right direction.

I was going to suggest the walk your bike thing - but then I don't think a mile is a lot for a four year old at all.
When my eldest first started school it was a mile walk in the morning, then I dropped my daughter at nursery and walked home with my toddler half walking half riding on the buggy containing the baby. Then a couple of hours later we walked back, collected the daughter and walked home. At 3 o'clock we set off and walked back to collect son, and walked home. I did 6 miles walking, daughter (age 3) did 4, and son did 2. Toddler probably did about 2 miles aswell.
No ill effects suffered by any of them.
Obviously drive/walk/cycle is a personal choice and nobody can tell you what to do, but it would be nice if some people could see beyond their cars occasionally.

 

[Frood42]

Schools around here are a pain, they park where they like without consideration for other road users, pull out without checking properly, and are clearly in a rush as they have left it too late to leave home.

Whatever happened to leaving a little earlier to avoid disruptions?
This morning I cycled 30miles, I gave myself 3hrs to do it in case of issues, although I know I can do it in 2hrs 20mins.
If I am taking the underground to the cinema, I give myself a little extra time in case there are delays.

All this rushing about, and them faffing on mobiles really irritates me, so I avoid schools where I can.

 

[User482]

It's instructive that those criticising mums driving their children to school haven't asked why the dads aren't doing it instead.

 

[Puddles]

The walking long ways thing with children is down to the individual child and what they are used to really, when Squidge broke is leg at 20 months old, we were in the country park with the dogs right down the end of it near the beach, I carried him 2 1/2 miles home, so in thinking about that he was walking 5 miles every morning at 20 months as we did not use the buggy by then. User76 has recently turned 3 and she happily does that every morning too. Squidge started going to school in the bike trailer rather than cycling himself but then was when the journey was 2 miles to school and he was still very wobbly and it was quicker than walking and no more hassle than walking. My small people are used to walking longer distances because of the dogs we have had they need walking and they kind of did it themselves, initially they might get out of the buggy and just walk part of it and then just naturally increased it themselves to no buggy and all walk.

The only reason User76 is not walking the just over a mile trip via Squidge's school then back in the other direction to Pre-school in the morning is the time factor, we have a 10 minute window between School & pre-school start times both ends of the day and she takes longer than 10 minutes to walk over a mile so it is currently bike trailer with a view to progressing to something where she has to put some work in too with the pedaling but attached to me once she is used to pre-school and the initial elevated levels of tiredness have gone.

We do have some bike trailers that are locked up at school so I presume the parents cycle with trailer to school drop child and then carry on their commute without the trailer and the same with some tag-along types

 

[Bollo]

It's instructive that those criticising mums driving their children to school haven't asked why the dads aren't doing it instead.

Simple economics is most cases. Take your pick from this lot...

Low Pay Unit

Also, there are still families who want to (and can afford to) follow the traditional family stucture where hubby goes out to work and mum looks after the kids. Nowt wrong with that if everyone is happy with it.

Back to the driving - I think school run mum gets a hard time simply because there are more of them than school run dad. If it evened out, I'm not sure we'd see any change in competence, but I'd take a punt that we'd see a fair bit more aggression.

 

[User482]

Simple economics is most cases. Take your pick from this lot...

Low Pay Unit

Also, there are still families who want to (and can afford to) follow the traditional family stucture where hubby goes out to work and mum looks after the kids. Nowt wrong with that if everyone is happy with it.

Back to the driving - I think school run mum gets a hard time simply because there are more of them than school run dad. If it evened out, I'm not sure we'd see any change in competence, but I'd take a punt that we'd see a fair bit more aggression.

I'm asking, if both parents are in work, why it is that mothers tend to do the school run.

I doubt that dads would be subject to similar rantings. At my local school, and my daughter's nursery, a significant minority of dads do the transport. But mentioning them wouldn't allow people to vent their prejudices about driving hubby's car...

 

[Bollo]

I'm asking, if both parents are in work, why it is that mothers tend to do the school run.

Because (as the linky pointed out) a greater proportion of men work and a greater proportion of women who do work do so part time. With the existing inequalities of opportunity and pay, on average men are more likely to bring home more pay than women. It ain't right, but for the moment that's how it is. And, for most people, working a full time job and being at the school gates (to walk, cycle or drive) just isn't going to happen.

I doubt that dads would be subject to similar rantings. At my local school, and my daughter's nursery, a significant minority of dads do the transport. But mentioning them wouldn't allow people to vent their prejudices about driving hubby's car...

You're probably right, but until things even out at the school gates we don't really know. Nursery is different precisely because commercial nurseries at least will operate hours that are convenient for working parents and pick up times are usually staggered.

 

[Fnaar]

I'm asking, if both parents are in work, why it is that mothers tend to do the school run.

Probably for similar reasons that dads tend to put the bins out, fix the car if it's bu99ered, fix that drainpipe in the rain at 6am, tinker with the cistern when it won't flush properly, get that spider, sort out the PC and so on. 'Traditional' roles still often hold true (and often for good reasons), though couples will sort out their own arrangements to suit, hopefully in harmonious agreement. Mrs F, for example, gets the spiders. And I usually heard the kids crying in the night when they were babies, cos I sleep a lot lighter.

 

[User482]

Because (as the linky pointed out) a greater proportion of men work and a greater proportion of women who do work do so part time. With the existing inequalities of opportunity and pay, on average men are more likely to bring home more pay than women. It ain't right, but for the moment that's how it is. And, for most people, working a full time job and being at the school gates (to walk, cycle or drive) just isn't going to happen.

Yes, but salary isn't a reliable guide to ability to drop off one's child at the school gates. Plenty of mothers and fathers both work full time...

You're probably right, but until things even out at the school gates we don't really know. Nursery is different precisely because commercial nurseries at least will operate hours that are convenient for working parents and pick up times are usually staggered.

Would we see gender-specific criticisms? I doubt it very much. Whilst I share the frustration of (and have been a victim of) poor driving on the school run, there's an unpleasant, misogynistic tone running through this thread.

 

[Linford]

I'm asking, if both parents are in work, why it is that mothers tend to do the school run.

I doubt that dads would be subject to similar rantings. At my local school, and my daughter's nursery, a significant minority of dads do the transport. But mentioning them wouldn't allow people to vent their prejudices about driving hubby's car...

Not all men in work have the luxury of doing flexi-time