Shaving your head for charity

[Sandra6]

Would you ever?!
And what do you make of those who do?
I'm asking because my mother, who I rarely speak to, rang me yesterday to announce she is shaving her head to raise money for an alzheimers charity and how much would I be sponsoring her?!
I have reluctantly agreed to send a cheque, it will be a very small cheque if I do get round to sending it. But I'm considering ringing my dad and asking him what the hell he's thinking letting her do it!!
I don't normally care if people do these mad things on a whim, but I can't help thinking my dad will be terribly embarrassed when he's out with her, and given that she's prone to exaggerating illnesses, and has munchhausen syndrome-like tendencies, she may well like the attention it brings as people could possibly assume she's recovering from cancer.
It's none of my business is it? But, what if it was your mother?!

 

[jefmcg]

But, what if it was your mother?!

I'd be happy, because it would mean she was still alive.

Did you ask why she's doing it? Is she or your dad showing early symptoms?

 

[jonny jeez]

Would you ever?!
And what do you make of those who do?
I'm asking because my mother, who I rarely speak to, rang me yesterday to announce she is shaving her head to raise money for an alzheimers charity and how much would I be sponsoring her?!
I have reluctantly agreed to send a cheque, it will be a very small cheque if I do get round to sending it. But I'm considering ringing my dad and asking him what the hell he's thinking letting her do it!!
I don't normally care if people do these mad things on a whim, but I can't help thinking my dad will be terribly embarrassed when he's out with her, and given that she's prone to exaggerating illnesses, and has munchhausen syndrome-like tendencies, she may well like the attention it brings as people could possibly assume she's recovering from cancer.
It's none of my business is it? But, what if it was your mother?!

If you don't speak to her much, then maybe just leave her to it

Lots of people do grand charitable gesturing that is as much about making them feel good (or look good) as it is about helping the charity. So she wont be alone if she gets a kick out of the attention..

She could just give up her time for the charity and if she cant afford that, just give some money. Most big charities prefer the latter.

So long as someone is benefiting, somewhere, I guess...what's the harm.

 

[Sandra6]

I'd be happy, because it would mean she was still alive.

Did you ask why she's doing it? Is she or your dad showing early symptoms?

She was diagnosed with dementia a while ago, which is another reason why I don't think she should be "allowed" to do it.
It is worth mentioning that she may or may not actually have dementia, she tends to move through illnesses, and each one clears up when she's diagnosed with something new. Although, it may be harder to convince a doctor you have dementia if you don't, than a mysterious illness that makes you fall down when nobody is watching, which hasn't happened at all since she "got" dementia.

 

[dellzeqq]

Sandra, my headshaving days are well gone. That said, I saw my daughter lose her hair during chemotherapy, and I'm sure I'm one of many who think that a gesture of this kind is not without meaning.

 

[coffeejo]

Without knowing your mother and her capacity to make decisions, I can only wonder what's wrong with women shaving their heads, whether or not it's for charity.

 

[jefmcg]

I totally regret never shaving my head when I was younger, so I may take advantage of dementia to finally do it.

(IE I think I would look like a mad old lady now, so will wait until I am actually a mad old lady)

 

[coffeejo]

I totally regret never shaving my head when I was younger, so I may take advantage of dementia to finally do it.

(IE I think I would look like a mad old lady now, so will wait until I am actually a mad old lady)

I did, just to see. Wanted to do it again when a friend went through chemo but my evil boss threatened all sorts of stuff if I went ahead and I didn't know enough to point out that she didn't have a say. I would definitely do it again in future for charity, but would be unlikely for my own benefit as I couldn't be bothered to keep it that short on a daily basis.

 

[dellzeqq]

I'm going to put something to you Sandra, that you might find unpalatable.

In my experience dementia involves losing points of reference. People with dementia panic, sometimes horribly, because they don't recognise what's going on, or even who they are. I think that a person with dementia might be tempted to find, in something quite straightforward, an identifier or key to their place or their identity.

In the early stages of dementia a person might seek to create reference points or identifiers, in the sense of taking something with them in to a terrifying future.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

Without knowing your mother and her capacity to make decisions, I can only wonder what's wrong with women shaving their heads, whether or not it's for charity.

Yes, although of course it’s still a much bigger step for a woman to shave her head than a man… there was an advert on the TV recently that showed a beardy hipster type bloke having his shaggy mane shaved for Cancer Research, and I did think to myself “Wow, what a big brave step that is, making yourself look more presentable for charity”. I think it’s still a more powerful statement when made by a female, and even more so when it’s in direct support of another lady friend or relative who’s having to lose her hair through treatment. I quite like the concept done as a supporting gesture rather than a fundraising one.


Having said all this, there seems to be more to this than meets the eye. I suspect this could potentially be mildly narcissistic in intent rather than a straightforward gesture of altruistic support. Either way @Sandra6 I sympathise, and I’m really not sure what I’d do.

 

[LarryDuff]

Sorry but I like my hair too much to ever shave it off unless I absolutely had to.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

But why would it matter if it was narcissistic? Who would it be harming?

It may not matter of course (and I'm not sure I said it did!), and it may harm no-one, although the OP is a better judge of that as it may affect her in ways we can't necessarily relate to ourselves.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

I do find myself rolling my eyes more and more when reading the forum.

edit - anyone want to sponsor my eye-rolling*?

*I'll likely embarrass my kids which makes it even more worthwhile

 

[coffeejo]

I do find myself rolling my eyes more and more when reading the forum.

edit - anyone want to sponsor my eye-rolling*?

*I'll likely embarrass my kids which makes it even more worthwhile

Can't decide if I would or wouldn't want a live web feed.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I shave my head at least once every two days as i have very little on top and just that stupid looking band of hair around the back.