Show me your Whelks...

[rich p]

They look like they are enjoing themselves.

Ha!
You'd be miserable if you were spending the weekend at Southend!

 

[Fab Foodie]

... and what's on the plate?

bastard, I've just gobbed my single malt over my keyboard...

 

[Fab Foodie]

How do you know he was called Gary?

The souped-up MK3 Cortina was a dead give-away...

 

[trustysteed]

a work experience bloke at an undetakers goes to the chief mortician and says 'there's a woman out back who has a whelk between her legs!'

'nonsense' the mortician replies but the work experience kid insists so they go to have a look.

'there you go, i told you she had a whelk!' he says and points at the woman on the tray.

'you idiot' the mortician replies, 'that's not a whelk, that's her clitoris!'

'oh' says the work experience bloke. 'well, it tastes like a whelk!'

 

[longers]

We collected a bag full of whelks from the seaside near Aberdeen and came home and boiled them up to eat. It left a black ring around the edge of the pan so we were worried about them being contaminated and didn't eat them.

A friend has since said that that's perfectly normal. Can anyone confirm this?

 

[longers]

I've just read the work experience joke properly. I missed the undertaker bit first time.

 

[trustysteed]

I've just read the work experience joke properly. I missed the undertaker bit first time.

a grave mistake.

 

[ComedyPilot]

I am not going to start a show me your cockle thread .

I started a similar named thread about male chickens, and I think it got pulled???

 

[TheDoctor]

See the thread in question for punnage...

I'm a glutton for punnagement.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

If this thread needs a theme song I can recommend the Peters and Lee hit 'Whelk I'm Home'

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww4v2cP-MDo
... smooth

 

[rich p]

If this thread needs a theme song I can recommend the Peters and Lee hit 'Whelk I'm Home'

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww4v2cP-MDo
... smooth

Ouch!!!

 

[atbman]

Can you use them on the Tube instead of an Oyster?

 

[NickM]

Yes, and they remove fluff from your pockets at the same time.

 

[wafflycat]

Whelks are for wimps. Give me a bathynomus giganteus!

http://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/02mexico/logs/oct13/media/isopod_450.jpg

 

[XmisterIS]

Whelks are for wimps. Give me a bathynomus giganteus!

Can you eat those bad boys? Or do they not taste good (Like horseshoe crabs - apparently their flesh is not tasty).