Silliest thing you did

[neslon]

This was inspired by the "what nearly knocked you off thread". I used to cycle across the town moor, a large chunk of grassland inthe middle of toon. The problem is, the Freemen of the city have the right to graze cattle on it. They seem to do this for a few months at a time, with newby cows each time. At first, this is OK as the coos are quite skittish and run away when they see you coming. After a while, this wears off and they ignore you.

Shortly after this, they turn nasty and when they see a cyclist coming they run like spaniels to block the path then stand there chewing and farting and looking stupid. The only way past is to dismount (if on a road bike or hybrid) and plodge through the clarts and cowpats.

One morning, when I might well have had impaired judgement, I saw red and thought " bugger this for a game of soldiers" and rode into one of them, with the vague idea that I might nudge it out of the way.

Now, you might think that, like I did, that cows are big soft floaty things. Perhaps not cumulus soft, but maybe marshmallowy. They are not. The one I hit was hard as a brick netty, buckled the front wheel and I still had to wade through the pond with the ugly sod pumping and grinning at me.

Every steak I eat has its face on it.

 

[ShinSplint]

Are you for real ? B)

 

[gbb]

This was inspired by the "what nearly knocked you off thread". I used to cycle across the town moor, a large chunk of grassland inthe middle of toon. The problem is, the Freemen of the city have the right to graze cattle on it. They seem to do this for a few months at a time, with newby cows each time. At first, this is OK as the coos are quite skittish and run away when they see you coming. After a while, this wears off and they ignore you.

Shortly after this, they turn nasty and when they see a cyclist coming they run like spaniels to block the path then stand there chewing and farting and looking stupid. The only way past is to dismount (if on a road bike or hybrid) and plodge through the clarts and cowpats.

One morning, when I might well have had impaired judgement, I saw red and thought " bugger this for a game of soldiers" and rode into one of them, with the vague idea that I might nudge it out of the way.

Now, you might think that, like I did, that cows are big soft floaty things. Perhaps not cumulus soft, but maybe marshmallowy. They are not. The one I hit was hard as a brick netty, buckled the front wheel and I still had to wade through the pond with the ugly sod pumping and grinning at me.

Every steak I eat has its face on it.

Not cycling related, but that reminds me of my times coal surveying in the Vale of Belvoir.
We were doing a geological survey and the equipment used 50 core cables, strung for miles across country. They were very expensive and the cows used to chew them You had to walk the line in cow fields to keep them
off.

I saw a cow chewing a cable one day, in my haste to frighten it off, i lobbed a wooden stake toward it. Aim was slightly off and i could see it was going to hit the cow ....i cringed as it looped through the air and hit this cow smack between the eyes and bounced off
Bloody thing just raised it's head, looked at me and carried on chewing....i don't think it even blinked

They're hard !!

 

[2Loose]

All I can say is, glad the Vale is missing a mine! It's a pretty part of the country.

 

[thomas]

As a kid I once cycled into a chain link fence, because turning and braking just seemed like too much hard work when bombing down hill

 

[Browser]

This was inspired by the "what nearly knocked you off thread". I used to cycle across the town moor, a large chunk of grassland inthe middle of toon. The problem is, the Freemen of the city have the right to graze cattle on it. They seem to do this for a few months at a time, with newby cows each time. At first, this is OK as the coos are quite skittish and run away when they see you coming. After a while, this wears off and they ignore you.

Shortly after this, they turn nasty and when they see a cyclist coming they run like spaniels to block the path then stand there chewing and farting and looking stupid. The only way past is to dismount (if on a road bike or hybrid) and plodge through the clarts and cowpats.

One morning, when I might well have had impaired judgement, I saw red and thought " bugger this for a game of soldiers" and rode into one of them, with the vague idea that I might nudge it out of the way.

Now, you might think that, like I did, that cows are big soft floaty things. Perhaps not cumulus soft, but maybe marshmallowy. They are not. The one I hit was hard as a brick netty, buckled the front wheel and I still had to wade through the pond with the ugly sod pumping and grinning at me.

Every steak I eat has its face on it.

I don't know what's funnier, the image of you cycling into a cow or the use of Geordie-isms in your post, it's been a while since I've heard some of them

Silliest thing I've done?? Taking my bike into an outdoor swimming pool when I was about 10 or so. Said 'outdoor pool' was located in the village I now live in, and was free to use so not very well maintained. It wasn't even fenced from the road next to it, hence my 'bright idea'. Trouble was, my mother chose that exact moment to come back from her shopping trip and caught me at it, instant rollocking. Didn't help that she gave it to my older brother and cousin worse for not stopping me, which they then gave to me worse later on