Slightly sensitive question related to the going car free thread

[al78]

I have been reading the threads on here about going car free with interest as it is something I would ultimately like to do, and am very close to the point where I could sell my car without significant negative impacts on my lifestyle. There is one thing that has bothered me a little though. If one is single, on the dating scene, and ultimately interested in a relationship, is not having a car likely to be a turn off for women, thus stifling any chances in this area? Has anyone here been dating and formed relationships whilst being car free all the while?

Normally I don't give a toss about things like status symbols or materialism but in this case, whether or not you find someone to settle down with could significantly impact the rest of your life, so it is worthwhile knowing if not having a car could impact ones "chances".

 

[rusky]

I would hope that wouldn't matter! If someone turns you down on the basis of you not having a car are they rather shallow?

 

[Red Light]

It might affect your chances of one night stands but if having or not having a car makes a difference to settling down with someone then frankly it must be a very superficial relationship. For those special occasions you can easily afford to rent a very nice car when you need one with the money you've saved by not owning one. Ditto taking a cab.

 

[jim55]

im in the exact same thing ,im single and drive a bmw 320d (i know ,i know)and have dated a"few" girls ,and a few have said they wouldnt go out with a guy without a car !!! after a while i wouldnt think it matters but a lot of girls are really shallow and see it as a status thing

 

[defy-one]

Girls will incorrectly assume you a tree hugger etc.
We unfortunately live in a world dominated by our social status. A lot of this is projected out to the world by what we own, the designer clothes, cars,watches even shoes

It might dent your chances short term, but long term you are more likely to meat someone that shares your view of the world. All I would say is be true to yourself

 

[Pauluk]

Well I got married before I owned my own car, but that was a very long time ago. My eldest son got married before he had his first car, that was about 10 years ago. We were both very young by today's standards.

I'm not an expert on the subject but I think it depends on you to a large extent. Your personality, the circles you move in, your social life and the people you meet and to some extent, dare I say, your age.

A car may not be the 'be all and end all' and I'm guessing, to some women it wouldn't matter. However, it gives another string to your bow in terms of flexibility and may add a little bit of credibility. May be if you were to meet some one and explained why you have gone car free but not necessarily permanently, they may spend more time getting to know you, who knows.

Its not necessarily about status, it can be more subtle than that.

Only you can decide at the end of the day by deciding how important being car free is compared to the idiosyncrasies and marketing aspects of the dating game.

 

[I like Skol]

I am in no position to comment here because I have been in a continuous relationship with my wife since just before I was old enough to drive. However IMO most women looking for a longterm relationship will want to have some hope of financial comfort and stability and, rightly or wrongly, will probably see having the ability to own and run a reasonable car as a sign of a person who already has some equity and hopefully the prospects to maintain that. I say rightly or wrongly as given the amount of easy consumer credit that has been (and still is?) available, having a decent late registration car parked outside the house is no guarantee that the prospective partner actually earns enough to maintain the lifestyle they are trying to portray!

On the other hand, if you don't own a car and you don't own a home then what the hell have you been doing, nobody wants to live with a lazy, scrounging, no-hoper!

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

im in the exact same thing ,im single and drive a bmw 320d (i know ,i know)and have dated a"few" girls ,and a few have said they wouldnt go out with a guy without a car !!! after a while i wouldnt think it matters but a lot of girls are really shallow and see it as a status thing

It's ok to own a Beemer (until the differential bearings fail - £850 next week!). It's the driver that makes the difference.

I met my lady while owning the Beemer, but she wouldn't have thought different if I'd pulled up on a moped.
Perhaps it's a maturity thing, but she wants me for me, and is not impressed by money, gadgets or cars. She likes them, but they aren't as important as the way I treat her, and what I want from life.

The right lady will want you regardless of circumstances. Going to cycling related events or locations puts you in the place of the right-minded ones.

 

[AnythingButVanilla]

I've never been in a relationship with anyone with a driving licence, much less a car and it's never really been a big deal for me. Aye it would be lovely to be able to jump in the car and go for a drive or away for the weekend or even get the shopping home without having to depend on public transport but it's not the be-all and end-all. My ex-husband was unable to hold down a job without getting fired and was also a heavy smoker and drinker and was completely untrustworthy and they were among the many reasons as to why we divorced.

 

[400bhp]

Girls will incorrectly assume you a tree hugger etc.
We unfortunately live in a world dominated by our social status. A lot of this is projected out to the world by what we own, the designer clothes, cars,watches even shoes

It might dent your chances short term, but long term you are more likely to meat someone that shares your view of the world. All I would say is be true to yourself

Interesting choice of word there.

 

[400bhp]

You are what you are mate.

Don't change to satisfy life's "wants".

 

[Ian Cooper]

I got married at age 27. I've never owned or driven a car. I should think progressive-thinking people will prefer those who don't own a 3-ton money pit that costs thousands of pounds a year to maintain, drains our natural resources, despoils the environment and whose use tends to encourage obesity, heart disease and other sedentary illnesses.

 

[Dragonwight]

Rome wasnt built in a day , id keep the car, get the relationship and then bin it when your both agreed.

 

[rusky]

Rome wasnt built in a day , id keep the car, get the relationship and then bin it when your both agreed.

That's a little deceitful & really isn't the way to build a relationship.

She only goes out with you as you have a car & you only keep the car to get a girl - who only goes out with you as you have a car

 

[Sara_H]

Well, being a modern woman I asked the OH out, and my opening line was that I fancied a spin in his camper van! We had many happy hours in that camper, til he wrote it off four months into our relationship! I tried telling him I'd dump him if he didn't get a new one but he must have felt very secure that he had me hooked cos he ignored my threats!