Snappy comebacks - share yours

[MERV]

I always think of the perfect response, 30 minutes after the event.

Unfortunately my knee-jerk comments usually sound like I've just had three teeth out and the anaesthetic hasn't yet worn off.

Same here.I think up a fantastic remark like 3 days later.No wonder I never became a comedian.

 

[dodgy]

I was thinking of a remark a friend made: He came into the office in cycling gear, and the usual fat bloater said "What do you look like?" He replied "Like someone who hasn't had a day off sick in 12 years", which was appropriate, given fat bloater's sickness record.

That sort of thing.

That's a good one!

Dave.

 

[malkie]

Favourite one I heard of was a runner who was shouted at by a bunch of chavs and chavettes ..

" GET THOSE KNEES UP "
and replied..
" no that will be your mother you`re thinking of "

 

[HLaB]

On my road bike tonight, I got the usual shout from a ned/ chav "your wheels going round". I was going to shout back "did they teach you that at school?". Sod's law the first time I think of a fast answer, I was going too fast to use it.

 

[HJ]

My response to - you don't pay tax

- Who are you, my accountant?