and my super fat carrot cake 
I will be off out for a 
. I'm expecting two phone calls today. You know when they'll ring, don't you? 
I'll be taking the dog out later for a gentle
YAY my "phil wants to buy a new mobile phone" fund has just been boosted by £153, sold some old phones to Mazuma and the cheque is in the post 
If they had the number, they could
A bloody great bee flew into my helmet vent yesterday
Is it safe to approach?I'm just back .. time for my
If you like the fresh smell of Ted Baker body spray and the tiny hint of sweat, then yes you're safe to approach, just make sure you have me a coffee in hand when you do and no gawping at my lycra
s'ok, I'm now unshockable after seeing the photo of Potsy's helmet.If you like the fresh smell of Ted Baker body spray and the tiny hint of sweat, then yes you're safe to approach, just make sure you have me a coffee in hand when you do and no gawping at my lycra
I'll have to make it up to you with a fish n chip supper,with a can of Dr Pepper, cowering in the local pee smelling bus stop and if you play your cards right I might even opt for a carton of mushy peas, but if you really really really play your cards right, I'll up that can of Dr Pepper for a can of Iron Bru!
Now what woman could resist a romantic night out like that ...Don't let the other ladies know or they'll be queuing to take your place
You're safe now Jo .. I've showered and changed and smelling fresh again
A bloody great bee flew into my helmet vent yesterday
Norman, last night's assignation, was not really a success was it? Not helped by my missing the last bus home, and your saying you could not escort me home. I am just relieved that I did not have any of your chicken. Your thighs did not look very apetising.
If you do not want peeps gawping at your lycra, please do not leave it drying on the radiator.
But! But! I thought we'd arranged to have our romantic evening out on Saturday night? ... I'd already arranged to stay inwith Angelinato wash my hair last night ... I'm sure you've read the email wrong
But! the pressing matter is ...who the hell was it, were you out with last night
He was intelligent, and witty, and his first name was Luca. He spoke Italian. That wasn't you then?
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I would have at least offered you a backer on my bike 
