Tea? (Part 2)

Status
Not open for further replies.
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

Gromit

Über Member
Location
York
Yes please to :cuppa:

We're running a bit slower than normal, being at my Mum's and all out of routine. NT has already been up into the loft to sort out a stray overflow pipe, and in the process we've brought down all our old toys to see what we can foist on donate to my sister for the boys. I feel a weekend of playing coming on!

How did you dismantle the furniture - the neat way with a screwdriver, or the fun way, with a hammer?


With a screwdriver, it's still my mum's house. Feeling very guilty as everything is in such a mess. I'm trying to locate the gas bill from a few weeks ago to inform them that she has passed over.

Contemplating on starting my own low cost funeral directors, I think if we pooled our resources, and look at all our skills we could easily do it. I don’t understand how things can cost so much. For example: digging a hole costs over £500. £150 for placing an ad in the local news paper.

Despairing a bit because I know what little savings my mum had, she wanted them to go to both of us, not to be spent on an expensive funeral. However these days you don’t have a choice. Oh well at least it will be a good send off.
 

Gromit

Über Member
Location
York
Gromit - your posts make me feel very sad, because where funerals are concerned we DO have a choice, it's just that people don't realise this and at a time of great emotional upheaval it's not something we consider. There is no obligation at all to use a funeral director, anyone can organise a funeral by contacting the church or crematorium direct. You don't need an expensive coffin, there are cardboard ones available that can be decorated by friends and family to celebrate the departed person's life. I'm sorry for your loss, and I really hope the stress of organising everything doesn't get too much for you. Best wishes, TMN

My sister is named on my mum's will and her husband has a friend who is an undertaker, we went to the place where he works because my sister thinks he will handle it well. Keep being told not to worry about things by her husband, who incidentally forgot to tell us that we could go and see her in the chapel of rest on Thursday. I found out we could after contacting them Friday at 4.15pm to cancel the car.

We looked at the cardboard coffins, they looked horrible. I really find it hard to believe that there are companies out there that make money out of grieving relatives.
 

Gromit

Über Member
Location
York
Ahhhhhh it does matter about the price of f**king flowers. £200 pounds gone on something that does not last. :-(
 

Gromit

Über Member
Location
York
I also didn't want to go and see my mum at the chapel of rest today, as I was with her when she died. She looked like she was sleeping at home in her bed. But today what I saw was not my mum, I tried to stop my sister entering but I couldn't. Thank god I stopped my neice from going in to see her.

When Arch and I went to see our friend, he look exactly like he was sleeping because the funerl directores had not interfeared in anyway. All in this funeral business has not been a good experiance.

Sorry about the spelling.
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
We looked at the cardboard coffins, they looked horrible. I really find it hard to believe that there are companies out there that make money out of grieving relatives.

People make money out of everything, I'm afraid. And so often on ephemeral stuff - at the other end of life, look at the money people spend on weddings, mostly on things are are gone the next day, or never used again.

I can't remember what the various elements of T's funeral cost. I know Jen paid for the wicker casket, and I was happy to let her - she had plenty of money. Remember how it creaked as they carried it in, and we all thought he'd have laughed about that.

It's all horrible. The only thing you can do, I think, is to bear it, get it over with, and choose to remember the 'best' of the situation. That's hard, but it gets easier as time goes by. And what Rockymountain said earlier about the organising putting off the grieving? For me, that helped. It all became academic for those weeks when I was sorting out the music and the order of service, and so on, (along with lots of help from other people), and it stopped me thinking about the loss until later - by which time it had sunk it, and just a tiny bit of the rawness was gone.

Somebody said to me, you don't 'get over it', but you do 'come to terms with it'.

Mum sends her love.
 

Night Train

Maker of Things
I also didn't want to go and see my mum at the chapel of rest today, as I was with her when she died. She looked like she was sleeping at home in her bed. But today what I saw was not my mum, I tried to stop my sister entering but I couldn't. Thank god I stopped my neice from going in to see her.

When Arch and I went to see our friend, he look exactly like he was sleeping because the funerl directores had not interfeared in anyway. All in this funeral business has not been a good experiance.

Sorry about the spelling.
I know exactly what you mean with this.

When my brother died I had to identify him the morning after and he was covered, except for his face, to hide the injuries. He looked like he was sleeping.
I was then encouraged and effectively bullied into going to see him 'one last time' at the undertakers and he looked like a bloated, distorted version of my brother with signs of make up, the wrong expressions and hair style. That is the image I am stuck with and have regretted it ever since.
It was also stupidly expensive even though we had the cheapest coffin as it was a cremation and tried to only have the hearse as transport. The undertakers said we had to have at least one passenger car even if we wanted to walk.
It cost over £1000 to transport his body from Warrington to London.

I knew nothing about funerals and was told by the undertakers that they would sort everything. What they didn't tell me was what I had to sort out, like music, speeches, the service, the transport, the flowers, the mourners, and just about everything else outside of transporting a body in a box from one place to another.

I feel for you, take care and look after yourself through out all this.:hugs:
 

potsy

Rambler
Location
My Armchair
:eek: Bimey.

Quick :cuppa: before heading off on todays forum ride, looks like it's :sun:and cold.
 

ColinJ

Puzzle game procrastinator!
:eek: Bimey.

Quick :cuppa: before heading off on todays forum ride, looks like it's :sun:and cold.
And hilly. VERY, VERY HILLY - Muhaha!!!

sitd-vs-forum-ride-profiles.gif


Yikes - oldfatfool is waiting to pick me up, 35 minutes early! :eek:
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
:cuppa:?

We're just in after driving back from Mum's. An easy enough drive at a leisurely pace, but tiring!

On Friday, there were dozens of Stobarts heading north, but we passed or were passed by none going south. Today, again, all going the other way to us!

And we saw the same Range Rover when we stopped to eat our sarnies at Woodall, as we did on the way down at Woolley Edge! The guy still can't park within lines....
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom