Teenage daughter and Facebook guidance...

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sazzaa

Guest
My way I protect my daughter best as I can from harm, you are someone there to babysit your grandkids so yours can study for their GCSEs

Haha, I nearly missed this. You do realise that kids can't get pregnant by posting on the interweb yeah? :laugh: You're sounding a bit insane.
 

biggs682

Itching to get back on my bike's
Location
Northamptonshire
I am in the same position with a 13 year old daughter.

Trust and honesty is the key as Facebook isn't your only worry, you can't monitor everything.

They have access to friends accounts, instagram, twitter, BBM the list is endless.

As long as you have discussed the safety concept, being careful about posting pics and personal details then she should be ok.

have an account too and know your daughters password so if anything ever concerns you, you can have a look.

Insist on accepting friends that she genuinely knows and hangs around with.

NEVER post anything embarrassing on her page
 

sazzaa

Guest
Trolling
Appeal to ridicule
you've failed. thread needs closing:wacko:

"you are someone there to babysit your grandkids so yours can study for their GCSEs". THAT's "trolling" dear. Except I call it a discussion, and can handle the thread staying open....
 

tadpole

Senior Member
Location
St George
I am not trolling, I was explaining my logical take on what I felt was your position. you on the other hand were aiming to dismiss my point of view by ridiculing my point with claiming that something that I didn't claim. Trolling at it's most simple it even has a Wikipedia entry. As for the thread closing, your trolling can only get worse from here on in, and we're so off topic now the real point of the thread is lost.
 

ScotiaLass

Guru
Location
Middle Earth
Late on this one...
I won't allow my 13 yr old to have a Facebook account, although to be fair he has issues and gets enough bullying at school without adding to it online. He is vulnerable, hence he doesn't have an account.
My other teens are 19 and 18 and still have me added to their accounts. When they were younger it was a condition that I stayed added if they wanted to keep their accounts.
Use the safeguards, keep an eye on who they add and make sure they know people they add, in person.
 

welsh dragon

Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
Personally, I think trust does play an important roll in this sort of thing. My daughter and I are lucky in that the children trust us enough, that they are quite happy to, have us as friends on they're fb account.

Everyone wants to keep they're children safe, and one of the best ways is to make sure that the children can talk openly about any subject, and are quite happy to ask for advise regarding anything that they come across. They are also willing to take advice, because they know it is becaue they're parents love them, and are concerned for they're safety. We can never keep our children 100% safe, but we can give them the tools they need to give them a head start.

Also, how someone deals with this sort of thing is also something for the individual parent. We are all different, have different experiences, views etc. It is not for me to tell a parent that he or she is wrong. Go with your instincts and what you feel, is right. Thats the best advice. And good luck. Bringing children up is a hard job for anyone.
 
OP
OP
IDMark2

IDMark2

Dodgy Aerial
Location
On the Roof
Gawd, I only went out to walk the dog, nice and peaceful out there...

For the few that have answered the question with your thoughts, thank you. I am of the mind that perhaps it's me that has been caught up in fear mongering and my approach so far is both as much and as little as I should be doing. My daughter, as I said to start off with, is pretty good, she's a school bullying monitor, volunteers for visiting dementia patients to a local hospital with a school group and generally has her head screwed on right, so I shouldn't really be expecting the worst. I won't be joining to keep an eye on her or attemping to adjust her account privacy settings, I think I'll just educate her.

Anyway, carry on everyone else, the internet can be so entertaining can't it...:whistle:
 

fossyant

Ride It Like You Stole It!
Location
South Manchester
The biggest issue is the personal conversations, and when others get involved. Girls get very bitchy (we have friends with girls of the same age) and they can be damn right nasty.

Advise her to 'think' before she writes anything, as it's easy to cut and paste and send it to anyone you've slagged off. Kids really aren't emmotionally mature enough to use it, and they get into some right fights over it.

I would advise being friends with your kids. You don't have to post, but you can see if anyone is publically having a go. You can't see private messages. The 'friend' thing was the 'deal' breaker when my son wanted it. He spends most of the time in personal conversations with friends and his girlfriend.
 
OP
OP
IDMark2

IDMark2

Dodgy Aerial
Location
On the Roof
When I said she's a 'school bullying monitor' I think I meant 'counsellor'. 'Monitor' perhaps gives the impression that she monitors the school bullies and then gets them to give her the lunch money they stole...;)
 
My daughter had friends at her infant school whose teenage brothers/sisters regularly smoked drugs at home. when My daughter was allowed on facebook, buying drugs would be mentioned not infrequently by siblings of her old school friends.

Two years ago I worked for a large insurance company and six staff members were dismissed for using the office Instant Messaging service to arrange dope deals.

"Can you get the green, lol!?"

These were people in their early twenties.
 

Shaun

Founder
Moderator
Please let's not get too sidetracked by picking apart each others preferences for how you deal with protecting your children online; each to their own.

If you have advice for the OP, please pass it on and let him take from the thread what he wants. :thumbsup:

Thanks,
Shaun :biggrin:
 
I have two girls. Generally they are safe and tend to use Facebook as a way of communicating within their known circle of friends and are careful with outsiders.

Generally as long as they are aware that you cannot trust anyone and that pervs pretend to be kids on facebook then they get the idea. They clearly are kids and can be seen to be from their profile but they can restrict all or any content to be available only to their friends.

While FB has been a bit of a headline thing, the real wild west is the internet in general. With that they need to know that most other things are checked for adult content and are flagged up but internet is mostly not and there are some odd people out there.
 

summerdays

Cycling in the sun
Location
Bristol
Two of my children have FB and both have added both parents, the third has waited till they were 13 but didn't get an account because they didn't want to get one of those neck nominations. I think that shows me that they are maturing. However I do think it is good to be friends with your parents and wider family as we use it to share information and photos, but also you have to be aware that you won't see some things depending on what privacy settings are used, and I often have to think about the reverse as to whether it is suitable to share with my children.

Equally I'm aware that they are often one or two steps ahead, and I end up asking them for advice on various things such as twitter, and Instagram, however I'm not getting snapchat, though again I discuss it with them. The fact that I don't understand and need multiple conversations gives lots of opportunities to discuss how to deal with these various ways of communicating.
 
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