bennytheegg
Active Member
- Location
- Brighton
I recently cycled from Brighton to Munich, stopping off in Paris and Freiburg before arriving in Munich for Oktoberfest to meet my mates who flew out there. It was my first "tour" and I learnt some valuable lessons:
My biggest error was undoubtably the return leg - I had a flight booked back with my mates from Freidrichshafen to Stanstead. We got caught up in traffic (in our hire cars) which meant for a mad dash to the gates for my mates... but I hadn't sorted out a box for my bike so I missed the flight. Hmmm.
Hungover and knackered I got the train into town and booked into a hotel - 70 euros - as there's only 1 flight to the UK per day. Booked flight. 230 euros. The next day I managed to get a box for free for the bike and made my way to the airport...
Hurray! After all the money I just wasted I accidentally on purpose bought the wrong train ticket and here comes the inspector! He tried to fine me 40 euros but I pretended I couldn't understand his (very good) english, said I only had 5 euros on me and he accepted (probably just pocketed it)
Arrived at airport very early and went to the bar. 2 hours later desk opens and I was informed that it would have only cost me 100 euros to fly back if I'd have informed the desk I'd missed my flight and wanted to re-book. Checked in the bike, and one of my 2 identical pannier bags, kept hold of the other one as it was small enough to be hand luggage. Returned to bar...
Flight gets called and I make my way through to the waiting area. Bag goes through x-ray machine.
I get asked to go to the side with 2 security guards and an armed police officer. "This seems a bit odd" I thought to myself as everybody else went past. Get thoroughly searched. Metal detector goes mental at my cycling shoes: Try to explain in very broken German. Accidentally make sudden movement and guard grabs my arm.
Tense couple of seconds pass:
Then I realise that I didn't consider that there's a slight chance some of the things in my "hand luggage" are a tad naughty, but I can't remember what went in what bag:
Oh dear.
I see an armed policeman removing my first aid kit. scissors. whoops! oh well, easy mistake-a to make-a!
That's a funny look he just gave me. Oh... now he's found the just about legal camping knife. This might take a bit of explaining. At least I'm not pissed.
Oh god, I am pissed.
What's he doing now? Is that... I didn't... brilliant! Now he's discovered my canister of methylated spirits.
Next time I tour I will definately learn some technical vocabulary of whatever language I am visiting. It would have probably make things a lot easier. On reflection, when I was asked "can you drink it?" - saying "nein!" and then pretending to light an imaginary lighter, followed by the international hand action for explosion - followed by saying "BOOM!!" - was probably not the brightest thing to do whilst trying to board an aeroplane. Saying the German for "flammable" would probably have been a bit less "terroristy!"
My biggest error was undoubtably the return leg - I had a flight booked back with my mates from Freidrichshafen to Stanstead. We got caught up in traffic (in our hire cars) which meant for a mad dash to the gates for my mates... but I hadn't sorted out a box for my bike so I missed the flight. Hmmm.
Hungover and knackered I got the train into town and booked into a hotel - 70 euros - as there's only 1 flight to the UK per day. Booked flight. 230 euros. The next day I managed to get a box for free for the bike and made my way to the airport...
Hurray! After all the money I just wasted I accidentally on purpose bought the wrong train ticket and here comes the inspector! He tried to fine me 40 euros but I pretended I couldn't understand his (very good) english, said I only had 5 euros on me and he accepted (probably just pocketed it)
Arrived at airport very early and went to the bar. 2 hours later desk opens and I was informed that it would have only cost me 100 euros to fly back if I'd have informed the desk I'd missed my flight and wanted to re-book. Checked in the bike, and one of my 2 identical pannier bags, kept hold of the other one as it was small enough to be hand luggage. Returned to bar...
Flight gets called and I make my way through to the waiting area. Bag goes through x-ray machine.
I get asked to go to the side with 2 security guards and an armed police officer. "This seems a bit odd" I thought to myself as everybody else went past. Get thoroughly searched. Metal detector goes mental at my cycling shoes: Try to explain in very broken German. Accidentally make sudden movement and guard grabs my arm.
Tense couple of seconds pass:
Then I realise that I didn't consider that there's a slight chance some of the things in my "hand luggage" are a tad naughty, but I can't remember what went in what bag:
Oh dear.
I see an armed policeman removing my first aid kit. scissors. whoops! oh well, easy mistake-a to make-a!
That's a funny look he just gave me. Oh... now he's found the just about legal camping knife. This might take a bit of explaining. At least I'm not pissed.
Oh god, I am pissed.
What's he doing now? Is that... I didn't... brilliant! Now he's discovered my canister of methylated spirits.
Next time I tour I will definately learn some technical vocabulary of whatever language I am visiting. It would have probably make things a lot easier. On reflection, when I was asked "can you drink it?" - saying "nein!" and then pretending to light an imaginary lighter, followed by the international hand action for explosion - followed by saying "BOOM!!" - was probably not the brightest thing to do whilst trying to board an aeroplane. Saying the German for "flammable" would probably have been a bit less "terroristy!"