The BMW lane
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- Start date
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beancounter
Well-Known Member
- Location
- South Beds
I have a BMW. It's a really really nice car. Big V8. Very fast.
My willy is, statistically, slightly above average.
And you can all go f*ck yourselves.
Kind regards,
bc
My willy is, statistically, slightly above average.
And you can all go f*ck yourselves.
Kind regards,
bc
Renard said:BMW = Big Man's Willy
...serves as a substitute for something lacking
Thats just something made up by people with small willy's that are jealous of BMW drivers.
very-near said:Isn't being a cock part of the requirement for BMW drivers ?
Where is Smeggers when you need him ?
Actually cock's drive Audi's now, its official.
beancounter
Well-Known Member
- Location
- South Beds
scoosh said:.. and your sig is:
We rest our case
You forgot my beloved old 1991 Trek which carried me from Lands End to John O'Groats...
Don't get your point scoosh, sorry if I'm a bit thick.
bc
Fab Foodie
hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
- Location
- Kirton, Devon.
beancounter said:
There's hope...
Chrisz
Über Member
- Location
- Sittingbourne
BMWs are quality cars;-
The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn).
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?).
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 95mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!
The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn).
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?).
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 95mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!
thomas
the tank engine
- Location
- Woking/Norwich
Chrisz said:
HAHA -I like it!BMWs are alright I find! I usually find them to be more patient than most other road groups so I'll support them
