The BMW lane

[very-near]

BMWs are quality cars;-

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn).

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?).

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 95mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!

 

[byegad]

I have a BMW. It's a really really nice car. Big V8. Very fast.

My willy is, statistically, slightly above average.

And you can all go f*ck yourselves.

Kind regards,

bc

Proof positive if ever we needed it.

 

[Mr Pig]

I don't know, I rather like fast cars.

Fair enough. But some cars attract more wa***** than other cars. And BMWs are definitely one of those cars.

And great big F*** O** 4X4 on-roaders. I was thinking about it and have come to the conclusion that the only reason anyone buys a flash 4X4 for town use is that they are tossers. There really is no other reason why you would want one. Especially a BMW 4X4.

 

[ArDee]

BMWs are quality cars;-

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 95mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

I know somebody who actually did this on the way home from work one evening after a hard day at work. He was driving on automatic and came up behind a car and flashed it to get out the way.

Only trouble it wasn't even unmarked he said he didn’t notice the wide red and yellow strips and the word "POLICE" across the back until they reflected in his headlights.

 

[Jim_Noir]

I agree in that Audi drivers have taken the crown off BMW drivers for being bawbags.

 

[Crackle]

I still like Audi's though, I've never liked BM's. Had one for a few days as a demo once and was very glad to hand it back. I've had enough of cars now, it's function over form for me.

 

[very-near]

Fair enough. But some cars attract more wa***** than other cars. And BMWs are definitely one of those cars.

And great big F*** O** 4X4 on-roaders. I was thinking about it and have come to the conclusion that the only reason anyone buys a flash 4X4 for town use is that they are tossers. There really is no other reason why you would want one. Especially a BMW 4X4.

I think that is more your problem than theirs MrPig

Now when I pick up the hire car in a couple of weeks, what do you think I should go for ?

A, B or C

 

[Jim_Noir]

I still like Audi's though, I've never liked BM's. Had one for a few days as a demo once and was very glad to hand it back. I've had enough of cars now, it's function over form for me.

Yes, I too like Audi's, never seen the attraction to BM's. My Dad had one and he loved it, I thought it was a horrid thing to drive, just a bit boring... sure an M5 might be a lot better... HOLD this is a cycle forum

 

[tyred]

There is a lot to like about Audis, expecially their excellent TDI engines and exceptional build quality but they have always fitted suspension which is far to stiff and with too little travel for a typical Irish road. BMWs are much better in this respect. Audis are best suited to motorway driving.

 

[graham56]

Beamers are like ar$eholes, everyone seems to have one.

 

[Arch]

I know somebody who actually did this on the way home from work one evening after a hard day at work. He was driving on automatic and came up behind a car and flashed it to get out the way.

Only trouble it wasn't even unmarked he said he didn’t notice the wide red and yellow strips and the word "POLICE" across the back until they reflected in his headlights.

Oh, now, that I would like to have seen....

From my non-car-owning point of view, I'd say the old stereotypes are a bit out of date. Crap drivers seem to be reasonably well spread across all marques...

(My b-i-l has a beamer, I can't say what it's like to drive, but I always feel travel sick in it....)

 

[sheddy]

Can anyone enlighten me as to why the latest Audis are fitted with fairy lights ?

 

[Wigsie]

Can anyone enlighten me as to why the latest Audis are fitted with fairy lights ?

Its added bling for new money chav c*cks that have finally left the BMW fraternity and buying Audi's instead.

 

[Speicher]

There is never any mention of Saab drivers in these sorts of threads. Must be cos we are very careful. If I have to pass a cyclist I make sure I can give them about five foot gap between me and them.

(When necessary, my Saab can accelerate like the proverbial stuff off the shovel).

If I am behind one, I leave about three car lengths gap. I suppose we might also have more room on the roads here, and perhaps not in such a rush. When driving slowly, behind a cyclist I can still enjoy the scenery.

 

[Wigsie]

There is never any mention of Saab drivers in these sorts of threads. Must be cos we are very careful. If I have to pass a cyclist I make sure I can give them about five foot gap between me and them.

(When necessary, my Saab can accelerate like the proverbial stuff off the shovel).

If I am behind one, I leave about three car lengths gap. I suppose we might also have more room on the roads here, and perhaps not in such a rush. When driving slowly, behind a cyclist I can still enjoy the scenery.

This may be becasue most are retired so they dont have to risk the lives of 'lesser mortals' in order to get to work 20 seconds faster than if they actually waited.