The Commutyclist - Bad poetry warning!!!

Discussion in 'Commuting' started by NigC, 21 Apr 2010.

  1. NigC

    NigC New Member

    Location:
    Surrey
    OK, it's time you were treated to my terrible poetry!!! :thumbsup: Apologies for the bad language - I hope the filters will clean it up....

    In case you can't work it out: Cummuter Cyclist


    The Commutyclist

    Awaken commutyclists, winter is done
    Spring brings new life and with it the sun
    So unlock the shed and dig out your bike
    You know what to do, you know what you like
    It’s time for work and the roads are a mess
    But pedal power is what a commutyclist does best

    Now you’re into the groove and summer is here
    Coats and gloves can come off and it fills you with cheer
    Oh summer I love with no care in the world
    ‘Cept the lorries and busses that love hugging the kerb
    I laugh at commuters all stuck in their cars
    I’m the commutyclist, you kiss my arse

    Summer was great, but the autumn draws near
    The mornings grow darker and the wet weather gear
    Is brought out of the closet to sit by the door
    In case it is needed when the weather is poor
    But the commutyclist knows that it’s time for a rest
    He clears up the shed and prepares his bike’s nest

    Winter, oh dear, hibernation has started
    The commutyclist and his bike are once again parted
    So in to the garage and out with the Beamer
    Screw the bike and air that was noticeably cleaner
    I’m not doing this - it’s too bloody cold
    Besides, I’m unfit and I’m getting too old

    So the seasons have passed, the commutyclist’s year is done
    He’s back in the car with a delighted bum
    But you still see a few, the dedication undaunted
    Any time of the year, the weather is taunted
    They’re still on their bikes the poor bastards they are
    Why don’t they just buy a cheap ****ing car!
     
  2. Smashing...I like...

    although many may take issue with the reference for Hibernation..."what...no winter riding"....bloody fair weather riders!!

    I may reply in kind, although i fear it will end up as more of a smutty limerick
     
  3. OP
    OP
    NigC

    NigC New Member

    Location:
    Surrey
    Yeah - I'm an all-year-round cyclist :smile: I think I wrote it around this time last year, when I suddenly noticed an increase in bikes on the roads :thumbsup:
     
  4. Armegatron

    Armegatron Active Member

    Brilliant :laugh:
     
  5. "There was a young man for Kent
    Who rode into work for a Stunt...."

    no , wait, I can do better
     
  6. Bman

    Bman Veteran

    Location:
    Herts.
    Those Vogons get everywhere :smile:
     
  7. Okay, I'll have a proper go...promise not to laugh

    "Dawn Cracking, Sun peeping
    Shadows stretching, Birds Singing
    Breath steaming, shed creaking

    ……..Road calling

    Legs aching, mind yawning
    Eyes blurring, fingers shaking
    Gears crunching, feet heaving

    …….Bike rolling

    Chill biting, breath stinging
    Head lifting, shifters shifting
    Body leaning, Lungs filling

    …….Ride starting

    Cars rushing, eyes darting
    Legs pushing, hands gripping
    Muscles warming, pedals flowing

    …….Tyres humming

    Pace smoothing, body working
    Clicking coming, scalp looming
    Muscles pumping, lungs bursting

    ……scalp dissolving

    Pedals spinning, crank turning
    Miles falling, Miles Falling
    Miles falling, lights changing

    ……rest rewarding

    Amber flashing, Pedals fighting
    Wheel lifting, Speed coming
    Wind rushing, Bike flying

    ……end awaiting

    Brakes squeezing, cabbie shouting
    Gestures flying, horns beeping
    Teeth gritting, cheek turning

    ……end approaching

    Neck loosening, nerves settling
    Thighs burning, arms aching
    eyes watering, nearly stopping

    ….nearly stopping….nearly stopping



    …Stopping

    …Stop


    Breath...breathing

    Rest.

    Clock stopping, numbers crunching
    Mind whirring, speed calc’ing
    Time dividing, miles multiplying


    ….grin stretching."
     
  8. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Location:
    Salford, UK
    Very good!


    A haiku:

    Pedals spin, wheels hum.
    Cock pheasant erupts from hedge.
    Brake! Laugh. Pedal on.
     
  9. Hey you may be onto something there Arch.

    Maybe we could all add a section and watch it grow..kinda art by colaboration!!

    "Colaborart"

    Nigel Tomm eat your hart out!!:ohmy:
     
  10. OP
    OP
    NigC

    NigC New Member

    Location:
    Surrey
    Love the idea :smile: Although I remember a similar idea on another forum that lasted about 3 or 4 posts before it just turned into a "make it as dirty as possible" story as people ran out of proper ideas ;)

    But if I wake up and find my literary hat, maybe I'll think of something worthy to add :sad:
     
  11. Ahh, but this is the CC forum, we are a very creative and considerate bunch on here.

    Lets give it a go!
     
  12. OP
    OP
    NigC

    NigC New Member

    Location:
    Surrey
    OK, here goes:

    Clock ticking, body tensing
    Work ending, bike sensing
    Off the clock, off we go

    ......See you tomorrow
     
  13. Pretty good, but it looks like its just you and me....sigh!
     
  14. TheDoctor

    TheDoctor Resistance is futile! Moderator

    Location:
    Stevenage
    Riding through the trees,
    Breathe air in, CO2 out,
    Photosynthesis.
     
  15. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Location:
    Salford, UK
    Oh, extra points for getting a 5 syllable word in for the last line!

    Are we doing haiku, or additional verses to Jonny's poem?
     
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