The Commutyclist - Bad poetry warning!!!

NigC

New Member
Location
Surrey
OK, it's time you were treated to my terrible poetry!!! :thumbsup: Apologies for the bad language - I hope the filters will clean it up....

In case you can't work it out: Cummuter Cyclist


The Commutyclist

Awaken commutyclists, winter is done
Spring brings new life and with it the sun
So unlock the shed and dig out your bike
You know what to do, you know what you like
It’s time for work and the roads are a mess
But pedal power is what a commutyclist does best

Now you’re into the groove and summer is here
Coats and gloves can come off and it fills you with cheer
Oh summer I love with no care in the world
‘Cept the lorries and busses that love hugging the kerb
I laugh at commuters all stuck in their cars
I’m the commutyclist, you kiss my arse

Summer was great, but the autumn draws near
The mornings grow darker and the wet weather gear
Is brought out of the closet to sit by the door
In case it is needed when the weather is poor
But the commutyclist knows that it’s time for a rest
He clears up the shed and prepares his bike’s nest

Winter, oh dear, hibernation has started
The commutyclist and his bike are once again parted
So in to the garage and out with the Beamer
Screw the bike and air that was noticeably cleaner
I’m not doing this - it’s too bloody cold
Besides, I’m unfit and I’m getting too old

So the seasons have passed, the commutyclist’s year is done
He’s back in the car with a delighted bum
But you still see a few, the dedication undaunted
Any time of the year, the weather is taunted
They’re still on their bikes the poor bastards they are
Why don’t they just buy a cheap ****ing car!
 

jonny jeez

Legendary Member
Smashing...I like...

although many may take issue with the reference for Hibernation..."what...no winter riding"....bloody fair weather riders!!

I may reply in kind, although i fear it will end up as more of a smutty limerick
 
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NigC

New Member
Location
Surrey
jonny jeez said:
Smashing...I like...

although many may take issue with the reference for Hibernation..."what...no winter riding"....bloody fair weather riders!!

I may reply in kind, although i fear it will end up as more of a smutty limerick
Yeah - I'm an all-year-round cyclist :smile: I think I wrote it around this time last year, when I suddenly noticed an increase in bikes on the roads :thumbsup:
 

jonny jeez

Legendary Member
Okay, I'll have a proper go...promise not to laugh

"Dawn Cracking, Sun peeping
Shadows stretching, Birds Singing
Breath steaming, shed creaking

……..Road calling

Legs aching, mind yawning
Eyes blurring, fingers shaking
Gears crunching, feet heaving

…….Bike rolling

Chill biting, breath stinging
Head lifting, shifters shifting
Body leaning, Lungs filling

…….Ride starting

Cars rushing, eyes darting
Legs pushing, hands gripping
Muscles warming, pedals flowing

…….Tyres humming

Pace smoothing, body working
Clicking coming, scalp looming
Muscles pumping, lungs bursting

……scalp dissolving

Pedals spinning, crank turning
Miles falling, Miles Falling
Miles falling, lights changing

……rest rewarding

Amber flashing, Pedals fighting
Wheel lifting, Speed coming
Wind rushing, Bike flying

……end awaiting

Brakes squeezing, cabbie shouting
Gestures flying, horns beeping
Teeth gritting, cheek turning

……end approaching

Neck loosening, nerves settling
Thighs burning, arms aching
eyes watering, nearly stopping

….nearly stopping….nearly stopping



…Stopping

…Stop


Breath...breathing

Rest.

Clock stopping, numbers crunching
Mind whirring, speed calc’ing
Time dividing, miles multiplying


….grin stretching."
 

jonny jeez

Legendary Member
Arch said:
Very good!


A haiku:

Pedals spin, wheels hum.
Cock pheasant erupts from hedge.
Brake! Laugh. Pedal on.
Hey you may be onto something there Arch.

Maybe we could all add a section and watch it grow..kinda art by colaboration!!

"Colaborart"

Nigel Tomm eat your hart out!!:ohmy:
 
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NigC

New Member
Location
Surrey
jonny jeez said:
Hey you may be onto something there Arch.

Maybe we could all add a section and watch it grow..kinda art by colaboration!!

"Colaborart"

Nigel Tomm eat your hart out!!:rolleyes:
Love the idea :smile: Although I remember a similar idea on another forum that lasted about 3 or 4 posts before it just turned into a "make it as dirty as possible" story as people ran out of proper ideas ;)

But if I wake up and find my literary hat, maybe I'll think of something worthy to add :sad:
 

jonny jeez

Legendary Member
NigC said:
Love the idea ;) Although I remember a similar idea on another forum that lasted about 3 or 4 posts before it just turned into a "make it as dirty as possible" story as people ran out of proper ideas :smile:

But if I wake up and find my literary hat, maybe I'll think of something worthy to add :laugh:
Ahh, but this is the CC forum, we are a very creative and considerate bunch on here.

Lets give it a go!
 
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NigC

New Member
Location
Surrey
OK, here goes:

Clock ticking, body tensing
Work ending, bike sensing
Off the clock, off we go

......See you tomorrow
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Oh, extra points for getting a 5 syllable word in for the last line!

Are we doing haiku, or additional verses to Jonny's poem?
 
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