The dead rat sketch

[Cuchilo]

I went into my local £1 shop today where everything is £1;99 and as i turned the corner i saw a huge rat laying dead on the floor . I went and got the owner to show him and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw it He called for one of the staff to deal with it and while walking back to the front of the shop we heard squeeling and this fella came running towards us with the rat attached to his hand via the rats teeth . He approached me for help but i'm smart and i ran away ( when i say run , it was a very manly stride )
when he finally managed to separate the rat from his hand he threw it in a bag and ran down the road ( making me do another manly stride out of his way ) and threw it in a public bin

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

I went into my local £1 shop today where everything is £1;99 and as i turned the corner i saw a huge rat laying dead on the floor . I went and got the owner to show him and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw it He called for one of the staff to deal with it and while walking back to the front of the shop we heard squeeling and this fella came running towards us with the rat attached to his hand via the rats teeth . He approached me for help but i'm smart and i ran away ( when i say run , it was a very manly stride )
when he finally managed to separate the rat from his hand he threw it in a bag and ran down the road ( making me do another manly stride out of his way ) and threw it in a public bin

I thought I lived on a rat run before I read this post....

 

[Crackle]

So it wasn't dead, just resting.

 

[Profpointy]

I went into my local £1 shop today where everything is £1;99 and as i turned the corner i saw a huge rat laying dead on the floor . I went and got the owner to show him and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw it He called for one of the staff to deal with it and while walking back to the front of the shop we heard squeeling and this fella came running towards us with the rat attached to his hand via the rats teeth . He approached me for help but i'm smart and i ran away ( when i say run , it was a very manly stride )
when he finally managed to separate the rat from his hand he threw it in a bag and ran down the road ( making me do another manly stride out of his way ) and threw it in a public bin

So you didn't buy it then?

 

[Drago]

Clearly not nailed to its perch.

 

[Cuchilo]

So it wasn't dead, just resting.

I think it must have been poisoned , i cant understand why the fella didnt give it a kick first to see if it was dead . Blokes always kick stuff to see if its dead and stuff .

 

[Bobby Mhor]

A Norwegian Blue rat?

 

[Smudge]

So you didn't buy it then?

It would have been £1.99 apparently. Too expensive for a poundshop.

 

[Salty seadog]

It was pining for the fjords.

 

[gbb]

Live rabbit sketch...
Circa 1970 I was walking up a steep incline from the river Trent onto the mothballed airbase we lived at. At the top of the incline it levelled out very quickly, like a plateau. As I got there I was staring at a wild rabbit munching grass with its back to me, 6ft away. I stood still, it hadn't seen me. I inched forward, and again, and again....im now 3ft away, it still hasn't seen me. I outstretched my arms slowly, my hands are now inches from it. I lunge forward....yay.... I got it

In a split second, that furry bunny turned into a growling, howling, bucking and twisting ball of fur . I never knew rabbits could make such a noise like something out of The Exorcist.

I threw it down...pronto.

No furry bunnies were harmed in this story

 

[Beebo]

Was it an African or European rat?

 

[craigwend]

It could have been a Siberian Hamster?

 

[Cuchilo]

Was it an African or European rat?

dunno , i didnt ask it . Although i did hear it say as it was put in the bin " dont put me in dare ya bloodclot "

 

[swee'pea99]

dunno , i didnt ask it . Although i did hear it say as it was put in the bin " dont put me in dare ya bloodclot "

So, Welsh then.

 

[Smokin Joe]

If the rat is dead it will be lying on it's back with it's feet in the air. If it isn't, don't touch it.