The dead rat sketch

[Smudge]

Blue Rat energy drink..... 'It has all the energy of a rat trapped in a can'

© 15 Storeys High

Poundland might stock it.

 

[ColinJ]

Live rabbit sketch...
Circa 1970 I was walking up a steep incline from the river Trent onto the mothballed airbase we lived at. At the top of the incline it levelled out very quickly, like a plateau. As I got there I was staring at a wild rabbit munching grass with its back to me, 6ft away. I stood still, it hadn't seen me. I inched forward, and again, and again....im now 3ft away, it still hasn't seen me. I outstretched my arms slowly, my hands are now inches from it. I lunge forward....yay.... I got it

In a split second, that furry bunny turned into a growling, howling, bucking and twisting ball of fur . I never knew rabbits could make such a noise like something out of The Exorcist.

I threw it down...pronto.

No furry bunnies were harmed in this story

Lobbest thou not The Holy Hand Grenade of Anteoch?

 

[ColinJ]

 

[Levo-Lon]

Brilliant

 

[Andy in Germany]

We had rats on the City Farm I worked at. My colleague once had a run in with one at the entrance: it kept positioning itself in front of him and standing on its hind legs and hissing. Eventually he had to go in another way. And put out a few more rat traps.

 

[Salar]

I think it must have been poisoned.

And the member of staff.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Saw one out on my ride last night I reckon it was bigger than our cat (Oh it definitely wasn't dead)

 

[Fnaar]

Gary Mabbutt

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/45323426

 

[raleighnut]

Gary Mabbutt

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/45323426

 

[sheddy]

Not dead -

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_q4S7lZeik

 

[perplexed]

I think it must have been poisoned , i cant understand why the fella didnt give it a kick first to see if it was dead . Blokes always kick stuff to see if its dead and stuff .

Kick it?

Nah... I would've adjusted the (already) square set of my lightly bristled jaw and adopted a feet apart stance in my combat boots. I'd then prod it and turn it over with my sharp, glistening bayonnet.

Upon acknowledging that my mortal enemy was indeed deceased, I'd shift my gaze up to the setting sun and wearily push my unstrapped (against health and safety regulations) steel helmet back on my head. There would be a voice over at this point as the credits begin to roll...

 

[Levo-Lon]

I declared war on one in my garden 2 weeks ago, cleaned out shed and put old engine oil where he was getting in.

Not seen it since.
We have 5 cats in close proximity so maybe they got it?

 

[Andy in Germany]

Kick it?

Nah... I would've adjusted the (already) square set of my lightly bristled jaw and adopted a feet apart stance in my combat boots. I'd then prod it and turn it over with my sharp, glistening bayonnet.

Upon acknowledging that my mortal enemy was indeed deceased, I'd shift my gaze up to the setting sun and wearily push my unstrapped (against health and safety regulations) steel helmet back on my head. There would be a voice over at this point as the credits begin to roll...

Crikey, what sort of rats do you get in Sheffield?

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Crikey, what sort of rats do you get in Sheffield?

Big ones

 

[simonali]

I picked up an injured squirrel once which then sank its nutcracking teeth into my finger down to the bone. I'm pleased to say it died during the night!