I much prefer the pub chat along the lines of "Do you remember when Pasca accidentally scored a header against Rangers and laughed about it" or "Do you remember when Boydy got booked for pretending to be a sumo wrestler after scoring against Motherwell and the fans had been giving him grief for being a wee bit heavy".
That's what football is about.
Not "Well it makes sense to be spending £100 million on this guy because he offers a guaranteed 8 crosses per game into the box with attacking intent."
I'm only 39 by the way, so I don't feel that I qualify as a moaning old git just yet.
I think you've misdiagnosed your problem though. It's not actually the stats that are the issue, it's that transfer speculation has completely taken over football. All season round we're bombarded by arguments about who's the better footballer, and why player x is a waste of space and should be replaced with player y. Everyone has always had players they liked and disliked on their team, their heroes and their scapegoats, and some have always banged on and bloody on about the scapegoats in particular. It's a particularly joyless approach to football, where even if you get a good win someone's pointing out how shoot some player is and how the result is only papering over the cracks. But today's availability of YouTube footage, live football, and social media means that everyone suddenly thinks they've got the solution to the winger issue in some Portuguese 17 yr old who scored a banger last week, and
then the stats come in. The stats are simply a
post facto justification for whatever gut feeling someone already has.
So back in the day, there were always a load of armchair managers who'd be telling you about your striker's lack of pace, but those conversations would soon fizzle out and be replaced with "remember when Sammy Nelson mooned the North Bank?", which is a lot more fun. Nowadays being an armchair manager is the default position - everyone played Championship Manager, everyone played FIFA, everyone played Fantasy Football. And the stats just provide the grist to that endless mill.