The Language of Cake

[Arch]

Some of you may know, the Victorians had a Language of Flowers, where each flower had a meaning so you could compose messages in a bouquet. We got talking about cake this morning at work, and have decided there should be a similar Language of Cake.

Dark, heavy fruitcake would imply depression. Battenburg would suggest a need to make a decision (so many ways to eat battenburg). Rich chocolate cake would imply dark passion. Lemon drizzle cake was suggested for pensiveness - we can't quite think why, but it seems right...

So come on, suggestions please...

 

[rich p]

Battenburg always makes me want to travel and possibly invade Poland

 

[Globalti]

Fairy cakes would imply something shady about your sexuality.

Chorley cakes that you are a gloomy bluff northerner.

Wiltshire lardy cakes that you need to put on weight, fast.

Stollen cake that you are some kind of Alpine ski prodigy.

 

[Twenty Inch]

Jaffa cakes for ambivalence and confusion.

 

[ChrisKH]

Jaffa cakes for ambivalence and confusion.

And lower taxation.

 

[Keith Oates]

Saffron Cake for distinction

Potato Cake for pleasure

 

[TheDoctor]

Carrot cake implys that you're at least thinking of eating healthily...

 

[WeeE]

McVittie's Jamaica Ginger Cake means it's cold, it's dark, you're all alone and have all the excuse you need for hot, thick custard. Preferably for breakfast.

 

[Kirstie]

Coffee and Walnut cake implies you're feeling 'a bit continental'

Anything involving meringue implies frivolity and transience.

Tiffin means you're an old school type

Millionaire's shortbread, essentially a posh twix in a different shape, means you've got ideas above your station...

 

[TheDoctor]

McVities Golden Syrup sponge (hot) with hot syrup poured over and custard and/or ice cream implies that you wish to see your dentist soon.

 

[BrumJim]

Pontefract Cakes:

I'm in a dark mood, and feeling a little bitter.

 

[XmisterIS]

Black Forest Gateaux means you are in the mood for going down on raven-haired beauty

It hardly bears thinking about what Spotted Dick means ...

 

[WeeE]

Tunnocks Tea Cakes...
for remembrance of the aunties of this world.

 

[Tim Bennet.]

Victoria Sponge means you've got shoot loads of class and are well brung up.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

Carrot cake implys that you're at least thinking of eating healthily...

no, pretending that you are…