The outdoor cooking and BBQ thread

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PK99

Legendary Member
Location
SW19
One of the conundrums of BBQ cooking is that no matter how much food you cook it ALL gets eaten.
The sausages you were looking forward to snaffling at midnight? Gone!
The chicken for the picnic tomorrow? Gone!

I have an explanation; The Theory of the Primordial BBQ.

Standing in the open air around a BBQ with meat cooking triggers a genetic memory of the primordial village.
The men went out, killed an antelope, brought it back and cooked it. Not knowing when the next successful hunt would be everyone gorged on the available meat.
The BBQ triggers the Inner Cave Man!
 
(sexist old git mode) :blush:
BBQs just seem to be a way for women to get men to do the cooking.
Woman buys the shopping
Woman invites the friends around
Woman make the salads
Woman lays the tables
Woman gets everybody drinks
Woman unpacks the meat
Man cooks the BBQ
Woman serves the guest
Woman clears the tables
Woman washes up

Many says to the woman - did you enjoy your day off with me BBQing???
 

tyred

Squire
Location
Ireland
Why would anyone leave a perfectly good kitchen to cook outside?

Walking down the street where I work one day last summer, I turned the corner and almost choked on this cloud of thick dense smoke wafting from the car park on the other side of the road and my initial thought was that someone's car had caught fire. Wrong, the guy in the camper van was having a BBQ and choking everyone within a 200 yard radius so he could have sausages which were burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.
 
Hey, I like my sausages medium rare!

He just sounds like a bad bbqer, my food is lovely on a proper BBQ and well worth the effort.
 

AndyRM

XOXO
Location
North Shields
This thread has made it clear that there are an awful lot of chaps who really don't know how to cook and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a fire.

I'm thinking of starting a support group for afflicted gentlemen in the form of a two day course. On the first day, cooking things to perfection on a BBQ will be the main topic. On the second, beards will be grown.
 
You can grow a beard in just the second day? I thought only Brian Blessed and my mother-in-law could manage that?
 
Woman buys the shopping
Woman invites the friends around
Woman make the salads
Woman lays the tables
Woman gets everybody drinks
Woman unpacks the meat
Man cooks the BBQ
Woman serves the guest
Woman clears the tables
Woman washes up

Many says to the woman - did you enjoy your day off with me BBQing???

Woman buys the shopping
Woman invites the friends around
Woman make the salads
Woman lays the tables
Woman gets everybody drinks
Woman unpacks the meat
Man cooks the BBQ
Man takes all the credit
Woman serves the guest
Woman clears the tables
Woman washes up
 

subaqua

What’s the point
Location
Leytonstone
IF you are burning food on a BBQ you aint doing it right... Sausage and burgers are hideously boring on a BBQ, Do people have no imagination?
butterflied leg of Lamb low and sloooooooooow with rosemary stalk that had been soaked in little water for a few hours to make it smoke rather than burn. didn't last long . and planking any fish is a great idea. love fresh Mackerel done that way on holiday . caught at 14.00 BBQ lit at 15.00 cooked and eaten by 16.00. yum yum yum.

there are loads of things to do on a CHARCOAL BBQ .
 
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