The Potato King and his three daughters.

[Globalti]

The Potato King was sick of his three princess daughters moping around the palace so he summoned them to his chamber.

(Pam Ayers rustic accent needed here) “Daughters,” he commanded, “It is time for you to marry. Go out and find yourselves a suitable potato husband and report back to me one year from now.”

A year passed and the three daughters returned to tell their father how they had got on.

“My first daughter… tell me who you married!”

“Well Father,” replied the first daughter, “ I met a lovely Jersey Royal and I married him!”

“Very good! Very good!” chortled the Kind proudly. “Daughter number two?”

“Ooh Father, I met a lovely King Edward and I married him!”

“Excellent! Excellent!” smiled the King. “Now, daughter number three – how did you get on?”

(Sad voice here) “Well Father, I’m afraid I must disappoint you. I married….. Des Lynam”

“Des Lynam? Des Lynam?” shouted the King, enraged. “He’s just a common tater!”

 

[beanzontoast]

 

[johnnyh]

kindly take your coat

 

[accountantpete]

There was this guy who was obsessed by farm machinery and in particular tractors until one day he had a mental breakdown worrying about whether a massey ferguson 102 was better than a 103a.

The doctor sent him to a special clinic where gradually his obsessions were treated and after two weeks he was released.

He immediately went round to his doctor and thanked him for curing his obsession with farm implements.

Walking home with all his problems behind him he turned the corner to see a 3 story block of flats on fire with smoke billowing out and no fire crew in sight.

A little girl cried for help from a top story window so without hesitating he rushed into the building and with a huge intake of breath sucked out all the smoke enabling him to dash upstairs and grab the girl.

As he carried the little girl to safety an amazed onlooker asked how on earth he had managed to clear the smoke to which he replied...

"It was easy - I'm an ex-tractor fan"

 

[Maz]

The Potato King was sick of his three princess daughters moping around the palace so he summoned them to his chamber.

(Pam Ayers rustic accent needed here) “Daughters,” he commanded, “It is time for you to marry. Go out and find yourselves a suitable potato husband and report back to me one year from now.”

A year passed and the three daughters returned to tell their father how they had got on...

...they found their suitors at Spud-u-like!

 

[Landslide]

kindly take your coat

Shurely you mean jacket?

 

[johnnyh]

Shurely you mean jacket?

leave it out or I'll get a chip on my shoulder!

Couldn't believe my eyes when I read that.

 

[Aperitif]

...they found their suitors at Spud-u-like!

They were all a-peeling Maz - and when the chips are down, it's a mash-up choice anyway.

It was a rosti freception though in every instance...

(There you are - I'll Lynam up, you knock 'em down.)

 

[Dalestar]

this thread has made me feel really 'chipper'

 

[Maz]

Shurely you mean jacket?

Like it!

 

[Maz]

They were all a-peeling Maz

You're the best punster a-rind these parts.!

 

[Aperitif]

You're the best punster a-rind these parts.!

eye.

 

[betty swollocks]

dear oh dear oh dearie me

 

[worcester dan]

dear oh dear oh dearie me

should that not be dear oh dear oh Desiree me

 

[Maz]

Welcome, worcester dan!
Nice first post - straight into the swing of things.