XmisterIS
Purveyor of fine nonsense
I go to the gym for the freeweights, the bikes are my cardio workout (real bike on a real road!).
Anyway, today I was checking the exercise classes timetable online, apparently all classes are free with my membership, and I spotted something called "Boxercise" and another thing called "Body Combat". I liked the sound of that and I used to do kickboxing, then kung fu, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I turned up with my old mitts, headguard, gumshield and shin protectors, expecting to get stuck into some sparring ...
... how wrong I was! Oh my, how very very wrong! Oh my God ...
It turns out it's just an over-amplified aerobics class with some "moves" from various "martial arts" thrown into the routine. I could hardly keep a straight face. It was when the instructor, in all seriousness, shouted "Kung Fu Pose!", stood on one leg and stuck his arms out sideways, that I lost my composure and collapsed in a heap of uncontrollable hysterics. I almost peed. I had to hold myself to preserve my modesty. The instructor thought I was in difficulty!
Come the end of the class, there were "executive" type guys congratulating each other and loudly saying, "Good job, good job! What a workout!"
I'll admit, I was sweating, but I wasn't puffed. It was nowhere near the exertion required when you're near the top of a bastard great hill, in the granny ring, legs burning, heart pounding away like a good'un. Now that's a bloody workout!
Needless to say, as I unlocked my bike, I watch the "executive" type guys getting into their "executive" type cars and zooming off - on a gloriously sunny day which you'd be mad not to enjoy by bicycle!
After the class I asked him whether there were any classes involving real sparring rather than the poofter shite I had just witnessed - he told me, "No, there used to be, but health and safety said it was too dangerous".
The world has, I tell you, gone completely insane.
Anyway, today I was checking the exercise classes timetable online, apparently all classes are free with my membership, and I spotted something called "Boxercise" and another thing called "Body Combat". I liked the sound of that and I used to do kickboxing, then kung fu, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I turned up with my old mitts, headguard, gumshield and shin protectors, expecting to get stuck into some sparring ...
... how wrong I was! Oh my, how very very wrong! Oh my God ...
It turns out it's just an over-amplified aerobics class with some "moves" from various "martial arts" thrown into the routine. I could hardly keep a straight face. It was when the instructor, in all seriousness, shouted "Kung Fu Pose!", stood on one leg and stuck his arms out sideways, that I lost my composure and collapsed in a heap of uncontrollable hysterics. I almost peed. I had to hold myself to preserve my modesty. The instructor thought I was in difficulty!
Come the end of the class, there were "executive" type guys congratulating each other and loudly saying, "Good job, good job! What a workout!"
I'll admit, I was sweating, but I wasn't puffed. It was nowhere near the exertion required when you're near the top of a bastard great hill, in the granny ring, legs burning, heart pounding away like a good'un. Now that's a bloody workout!
Needless to say, as I unlocked my bike, I watch the "executive" type guys getting into their "executive" type cars and zooming off - on a gloriously sunny day which you'd be mad not to enjoy by bicycle!
After the class I asked him whether there were any classes involving real sparring rather than the poofter shite I had just witnessed - he told me, "No, there used to be, but health and safety said it was too dangerous".
The world has, I tell you, gone completely insane.